


Back to the Future [a Marvel inspired story]

by psycho198220251944



Series: Psycho [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), MCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Action/Adventure, Dysfunctional Family, Family Adventure, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-02 04:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 52,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11501370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psycho198220251944/pseuds/psycho198220251944
Summary: AU. It had been a long time since Octavia Stark had to find her way home, but now she faced her toughest challenge yet. Her only way home now rests in the hands of the one man capable enough to get her back to her own time. Her father. Follows the events of CATFA loosely through the POV of an OC.





	1. Flash Back

**Author's Note:**

> [official disclaimer: i do not own any marvel characters but only my original characters. this is for fun and for writing practice.]

**New York**

**2025**

"Are you going to be in here all day?" Octavia asked her brother Tony as she walked into his personal laboratory. The last time she had seen him was probably the night before, when she had dropped off his dinner. Now it was well past lunch, and she could see he had barely touched the plate of food she had left him the night before.

"I'm almost done, O." Tony said absentmindedly. He had been saying that for the last four days but something told Octavia that he hadn't notice.

"I think you should take a break." She commented as she walked over towards the giant machine he had been tweaking with. "You haven't even told me what you've been working on."

BANG!

She jumped back a step just as she was about to touch the contraption in front of her. Octavia gave Tony an incredulous look when she realized it was him that slammed the wrench onto the metal toolbox beside him. "Don't touch it. You're cosmic energy will reconfigure the machine."

Octavia narrowed her eyes at her older half-brother. "It's not cosmic." She muttered before taking a step back from the machine. Tony was right and wrong, like always. Although her energy wasn't as extreme as the cosmos, Octavia's powers could be mistaken for godlike among normal people if she had unlocked them. Inside of her core was a nest of potential energy that she could use to enhance her psychokinesis. She had promised herself a long time ago that she would use it for good, but sometimes it was hard not to create a ball of pure energy and have it soaring at her brother's face. "So are you going to tell me what this thing is or would you just like to be buried with it?"

"You're not funny, O."

"I'm not trying to be, Tony. You've been in here for days and no one knows what this is. Have you asked Steve to look at it? You know he has an eye for stuff like this."

"I don't need your boyfriend's help." Tony snapped quickly, looking back at her with a pointed look. "I can do this on my own."

Octavia set her jaw, staring hard at the man-child in front of her. "He's not my boyfriend, Tony. We're getting married." She corrected.

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards into a smile, eventually letting a laugh escape his lips. "Right. Right. I had almost forgotten." He turned back to his work, leaving the rest of the conversation.

She didn't know what could be bothering Tony. Although, he's never been known to have a simple problem about anything. Ever. It was hard to know exactly how to push down Tony's walls since she didn't exactly grow up with him and found him at times to be a stranger. Although, if there was one thing Octavia knew, it was how to read people. Having worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. for a few years, she could pick up easy tells. With Tony's back to her it was harder, but that was a tell in itself. Avoiding eye contact, minimal-to-no-speech, and busy work. All the signs of someone wanting to avoid a conversation. But, why?

Octavia could have just been paranoid, he might have really been busy after all. Too busy for her? Maybe. Things happen. But Tony had been busy since the announcement and she couldn't help but take it personally.

"It's been two weeks," she pointed out as she walked around him trying to get a better view of his face. "Steve and I were thinking of throwing an engagement party soon. You're pretty good with those…would you like to help?"

Tony didn't look up, instead he let out a deep sigh of aggravation. "O, I said I'm busy."

That was it. Octavia waved her hand and the objects Tony fiddled with were ripped out of his hands and scattered across the ground.

"Goddamnit, O! You shouldn't use your powers in here!"

"Why not?!"

"Because you're a source of energy!" Tony exclaimed. "You collect it, you-you-you store it inside of you and dispel it every time you use your powers. The more you use them the more energy is being release. What I am working on is very sensitive to those kind of energies."

"What the hell are you making?" She motioned to the giant machine built beside her. It's arc reached high over her head and almost touched the ceiling. Tony had succeeded in making half of a metal circle in her opinion.

"It's a time-machine, O." He said as he picked up his instruments off the ground. "I've been tinkering with it for the last few weeks and I've just figured out the key to it."

"Oh yeah?" She asked "And where do you think you're gunna go? Or should I say, when?"

Tony had opened his mouth to speak but closed it tightly as he looked on her. "I can't say."

Octavia gave Tony an incredulous look at his statement. "You will say."

"O…"

"You say," She raised her hand, blue lights crackling from her fingertips. "Or I turn it on. Or break it. Really whatever happens when I throw this pretty blue ball of energy right at that machine."

Tony stared hard at her, eyeing her serious expression and the growing orb in her palm. "Octavia, this isn't a game. I'm very close to getting this thing to work and if you destroy it…" He clenched his jaw at the thought. Next to the machine, the mechanics started to whirl to life.

"Tell me what the hell you're doing in here, Tony!" She exclaimed in aggravation. "You've been hiding away ever since I told you I was getting married and I find you creating some kind of time machine in the most shady way possible. I'm your sister…who else can you trust?"

Her brother's expression softened a bit at her but his jaw was still tight in distress. "Alright, alright." He succumbed, lowering his hands in defeat. "We both know whose got the bigger balls here, huh? Pissing contest over, put it away." He motioned to her hand. "I'll tell you what you want to know."

Octavia smiled, lowering her hand to dissolve the energy. What Octavia knew, but just not in that moment, was that when she dispelled energy it never truly returned back to her. Some of it would trickle back into her in the way the skin absorbs the sunlight if she had concentrated hard enough, all of it would have returned to her. Unfortunately, unless the leaked energy has somewhere to go it will draw itself to the closest organism that consumes energy. This time, it was the machine. When the buzzing from her orb dispersed she could hear the whirling of the giant engine next to her and saw that it had brought itself to life. Instead of being able to see through it like she had before there was a swirling veil of light colors crackling in the middle of it. A dread filled inside of her as a great rush of winds sucked the room towards the white/black hole. With the great push Octavia lost her footing and fell to the ground, having the wind knocked out of her on impact. She groaned as she breathed in, each intake more painful than the next.

Looking up, she could see Tony on his hands and knees beside the machine. He was being pulled down by the force of it. Octavia tried to get to him but every move she made was like swimming against the current. Her hand would slip on the ground and her body would be rushed backwards towards the opening until she used the heel of her boots and palms of her hand to hold traction on the ground. Between her and Tony, his workstation was being pulled into the abyss along with random debris flying around Octavia's head. When she made eye contact with him, she saw he wasn't holding out much longer. He started to slide behind his workstation and before he could disappear like the rest she threw her hand out to push him back across the room.

Like a feather blown through the air, Octavia's body felt weightless after she lost her hold on the ground. The last thing she heard before the darkness was Tony screaming her name.

* * *

 

The first time Octavia had leapt out of a plane, her stomach fell out of her backside and then rolled back up to her throat. Her body was free of all restraints except for the tight hold of gravity that ripped her towards the ground. It was a close second to how it felt traveling through time. When Octavia awoke, her whole mind was distorted and her body felt nauseous enough that she didn't think she could move for a while. She took deep breaths and waited for her brother to come pick her up but no one came.

Finally, catching her breath and sitting up she saw she was in the middle of an empty office building. Behind her she saw that Tony's workstation had knocked over a few desks. She took a sharp intake of breath as she tried to understand exactly what happened in the last few moments. Looking forward, there was no longer the giant arc in front of her but instead more desks and empty chairs. He had did it. Tony had sent her back. But where?

Thinking that maybe this room had more answers than not, she pulled herself up to her feet. Before she figured out where, or when she was, she needed to know if she still had her powers. Opening her palms she concentrated on the energy throughout her body. It stemmed through her veins, tickling her as it raced towards her fingertips. Small sparkles of blue light danced over her hand but she could not muster anymore than that. There wasn't much more she could do without absorbing more. The time machine must have used up most of her energy to pull her through the space and time to bring her here. Wherever here was.

Turning around, she stepped to the first desk she could find. After a glance over the office space, she saw it was definitely sometime between the 40's and 60's. Typewriters were placed on the centers of each one of tables with each table littered with their own types of paperwork. The one she had went to had basic salaries listings and inquires of payroll. HR, she thought. Flitting through more files she finally landed on one that was dated. December 12th, 1943. Two years until the end of the war.

"Shit." She whispered to herself. How the hell was she going to get home? If Tony wasn't there to help her, she needed the next best thing.

Before she could find him; she needed proof. Stepping to the workstation she looked for something useful. Most of what was there were tools and useless for Octavia. She pocket a wrench, a screwdriver, and an ulline measuring tape just in case but nothing very helpful. Maybe, she thought, something had scattered across the floor. The office was still dark and she didn't know what time it was or if someone would walk in at any moment. Octavia thought of her cellphone and patted her back pocket for it.

Relief filled her when she felt the thin metal at the tip her fingers. With the phone settled in her hand, it was a few swift moves that unlocked the flashlight and allowed her to get a better look under the desks. The workstation had scattered it's contents over the floor. Octavia worried more people would find the objects and look more into why a bunch of tools were lobbed across the office. If Octavia used the last bit of her energy to pull all tools back to her, it could deplete her to the point where if she was attacked she'd be useless. But she had to do something about mess.

Instead of using her powers, she decided on quickly grabbing all she could find and hiding the workstation somewhere while she figured out her next move. She collected all she could before throwing them back into their little drawers. Sliding her hand underneath one desk, she felt something larger than a wrench or bolt. Octavia dragged it out the flatted plastic she felt until she saw what it really was. It had buttons lined along the side with three meters on top that looked capable of emitting a signal. The dial in her hand felt powerless in and she knew it was emitting nothing. Perhaps she was too far from the original signal, a thought that made her laugh.

The laughter faded as soon as it started when she realized how far away from her life she actually was. She took a deep breath and tried to regain some calm. No, she did not have Tony to save her. Nor did she have her fiancé to guide her through this journey but she could make due without them for now. Octavia just had to find who she was looking for; but first she had to figure out where she was.

Hiding the workstation away in a supply closet, she used a bit of her power to lock the door from the inside. When they flew in, the workstation had crushed and cracked a few of the desks. She could have cleaned it up, waved her hand and brought it all back together. But her energy was still low and if she were going to make it around undetected then she needed all she had. Whoever found the mess would surely search for whomever had made it. Octavia thought she had an advantage since she doubted anyone would be looking for a woman from the future.

A light brown satchel hung loosely over the back of a desk chair closest to the door and Octavia thought that would come in handy. After she dumped out the contents onto the desk, she replaced it with the wrench, the screwdriver, the measuring tape, and the dial of sort she found. Then she turned off the flashlight and slid her phone into the over shoulder. It was time to go.

Without looking back, she slipped out of room and hurried to the staircase.

* * *

 

Octavia was ten years old when she stole for the first time. There was no thought to it beforehand as she stood in the store staring down at the yellow frosted cupcakes in their clear plastic packaging. She knew she was hungry, that she had no money, and if she was quick enough she could get away. Moments after that thought, she had snatched the crinkling package in her hands and sprinted towards the exit. Dodging other patrons of the store and skirting around the manager happened in a blur. Running was her main concern, one foot in front of the other as she darted through the sidewalk and out of view to the ones chasing her. Octavia never dwelled when she could move, never looked back when she had forward in front of her. The rush of the escape was worth more than the sweets in the end.

Octavia felt that same rush as she made her escape into the night. Often she would look back on that first evening in 1943 and never questioned her straightforward attitude. Time was on her side, for the most part, and she had often found herself in situations of great duress. Fear was something she had grown up with, slept with, eaten with, and fought with. It's greatest weapon was idleness and Octavia would not use it.

The building she walked through now was just an old - no, new, - set of office space where the Stark Tower would one day stand. She recognized the hallways and when she looked out the window at the end of it, she saw the same skyline she had woken up to everyday after she had turned sixteen. The stairwell was still in the same spot as the one she was used to, which meant the building wouldn't change too much in the years. There was a calm relief in that as she ventured towards the exit. On the bottom level, there was a murmur of noise that sounded like static from a radio. She pulled her phone out of the bag and opened the camera. Holding it just out enough so she could see around the corner without someone spotting her, she saw that the lobby was deserted. The clock on her phone was blacked out along with the reception bar, so she couldn't see what time it was. Of course it wasn't going to work, she thought, there was no receiver for it. Thankfully the apps didn't depend on signal.

Through the phone's camera, she could see a wall clock just above the check-in desk. The radio on the desk was what was playing but there was no security officer in her sight. He might have went to check on the noise she had made coming in. She could not read the exact time but she snapped a few photos so she could get a better look at it later. The emergency exit door was just in sight and Octavia didn't wait a second longer. After throwing her phone back into her bag, she took a few long strides before pushing the door open.

The wailing alarm started immediately but it didn't stop her. She kept moving along the side of the building to avoid the street lights or any other way she might have been detected. Then she remember that surveillance cameras weren't in the United States just yet, nor where their any video recording devices around for another 8 years so the chances of anyone recognizing her were slim. Her best choice was to get out of her clothes before they raised suspicion. Her grey button up, and black boots would have been fine, but her dark tight jeans would call attention to her. She could not stand out. Her goal was to blend in until she found who she was looking for.

Octavia didn't know exactly how she was going to explain her circumstances to him or even if he would believe her. Showing him her phone might work, or telling him something only she would know. But the chances of changing the future weighed on her and her choices of solution were small. What if she said something she wasn't suppose to and she changed her own timeline? What if the future she returns to isn't the one she left? What if-

"Look what I've spotted, Frank!" A rough loud voice caught her out of her paranoia, making her spin in tracks to find the source of it.

"Yeah, she's definitely pretty. I like them slim." Another voice said. From the shadows they emerged, along with an order so fouled by malt liquor she could taste it. They stepped towards her in a swayful unison that only pushed the point on her further. A battle inside her raged as she couldn't remember if this was past or present anymore.

The streets looked the same in the dark, with planted trees blocking most of the street lamps at this point in the road. That made it harder to see their faces but it didn't matter to her in the end. Faceless men were easiest to fight.

"You lost there, beautiful?" The first voice called out as he got closer. "Maybe we can help you find what you're looking for."

She doubted it.

They kept walking closer despite the fact she gave no indications for them to. Again, she contemplated using her powers to throw them back and continue on her journey. If she did, however, she probably wouldn't make it far. The last bit of energy she had was what was keeping her going now and she had to spare it. The men kept walking forward and she came up with a plan.

Had the men just kept walking this never would have happened. When the first man went to grab her, she moved her arm backwards and twisted loose of his grasp. In a swift move, she had thrown her bag over his neck and pulled him down until his nose collided with her knee. She felt the bone shatter against her kneecap but it didn't bring a grimace to her expression. The second man tried to grab her arm in protest but she rounded on him and got him in the back of the leg with her heel. Catching his wrist in her grasps she gripped it tight enough to snap it but instead she guided him down to his knees in front of her.

"I'll only take a little." She spoke down at him before bringing up her other hand and placed her finger tips across his face. His friend was screaming in pain beside them as he held his broken nose in his hands. Octavia's knee felt wet with blood but she didn't think about that. Underneath her fingers she could feel little bubbles popping against her palm and absorbing through her skin. Dancing into her veins was part of this man's potential energy that he had kept stored inside his body that he would use during times of an adrenaline rush or exercise. When Octavia took someone's energy, it left them often knocked out for days so she tried to limit how much she took at a time. The man fell back onto the ground after she felt she had taken enough. He would only be out for a few hours if he was lucky.

His friend cried on the cement, rocking back and forth as Octavia knelt down beside him. In times of war there was no need for sympathy, but she did not think this was war. Not yet. Brushing his hair out his face with her fingers, she gazed down at the young man before her. He flinched at her touch and tried to move away but she took hold of the top of his head. "You won't remember this when you wake up." She spoke in a gentle voice. "But I just want you to know that I am sorry."

The man's brow furrowed at her before he let out a gasp of exclamation. "You're one of them spies we keep hearing about in the news." He accused. "You-you're a Nazi!"

Her brow picked up at the thought and she let out a chuckle of disbelief. "Oh when there was only one bad guy, hm?" She opened her palm onto his forehead and again felt the whirl of energy rush through her. After she saw his eyes close she released her hold on him and watched him collapse onto the ground. Octavia felt different now. Better. Her senses heighten immensely, allowing her to hear five more blocks down from where she was and even to smell the blood staining her clothes and the trash that littered around the street. The darkness seemed to fade around her in gradients letting her have a better vision of what was in front of her.

She barely recognized the street she was on, but it was familiar enough to know what direction she was in. The men would have to be moved so no one were to stumble on them immediately. Octavia felt the crackling of energy over her fingertips and the two bodies slid over the sidewalk to the brick wall beside it. They toppled together in a fashion that brought a small smile to Octavia's lips.

Another thought popped in her head and with a smooth ripple through her fingers, both men were removed on wallets. Pocketing the cash, which was a whopping 10 dollars between them but she figured that might be just enough to get her by. When she found their IDs she made note to remember their names. Johnny Jermone. Franklin Mottle. With a toss of leather skinned wallets she gave them silent thanks for their donation.

Octavia picked up her bag off the ground and shoved the bit of money into the folds. She look one last look at the two men before her before continuing on her journey.

* * *

 

"Come on!" Tony slammed his hand down on the metal table beside him as he tried to calibrate a new remote for the time machine. The meter turned red in error and in the distance he heard a computer's voice tell him the same thing. The machine was still broken after the violent event of it being turned on. It had almost sucked in half the room before Octavia had disappeared into it. The readings had told Tony that once the organic matter had passed through then the machine turned itself off but not before sucking through parts of itself that rendered it unable to turn back on. He would have to rebuild it in order to get his sister back.

"Octavia?" Tony heard Steve's voice call out through his lab. "Tony? Are you both in here?"

 _I am._ Tony thought, but kept it to himself. "Over here!" He called out hurriedly. How was he going to tell Steve what happened?

Walking passed some of the debris, Steve had given Tony a look of confusion before expressing it fully. "What happened? Where's Octavia? She said she was going to come in here and talk to you."

"She did…" Tony muttered, barely glancing back at his friend. "She was in here."

"Well, where is she?" Steve asked pointedly.

"A thought bounced around in Tony's head and he felt it weigh him down. "A better question would be when."

"What?

"I said," he cleared his throat. "You should have asked, when is she? As in, when in time did she land? Or when is she going to come back through that thing." Tony motioned to the metal arc that stood just to the right of him.

Steve snapped his head back from Tony and the machine until settling his gaze on Tony with a hard look in his eyes. "What the hell are you talking? What is that?"

"That," Tony had moved down from his spot at his table and moved towards Steve. "Is a time machine that my father invented. There's only one record of it working but it didn't say where it went to. It had just been powered up by some huge amount of energy that is really unlikely to have been around 70 years ago. Unless it was -"

"The tesseract." Steve finished before shooting an accusing look his way. "How is this powered up now?"

"Well, actually, it powered up because of Octavia." Tony pointed out.

"So…" Steve took a moment to think. "She's…" He pointed towards the machine.

"Lost in time. My first guest is that she's at least around the time my father built the machine so if I can get this on maybe she can come back."

"You've done some stupid things before Tony," Steve said heatedly. "But this…"

"I didn't do this!" Tony defended himself. "I told her to not to disturb the machine with all her power but did she listen to me? Now she's stuck, god knows where and the only thing I know I can do is to get this machine back on to try and get her home. Now you can help me or you can lecture me, but only one is going to help Octavia."

Steve clenched his jaw tight as he stared at Tony. Sometimes, he really didn't like him.

"Fine," he said. "I'll help you. But before I do, I need to know one thing. What was the original power source for this?"

Tony pursed his lips together and remained silent for the moment he decided exactly how he was going to explain that.

A chord followed from the base of the time machine towards the back of the laboratory where it was hooked up to a metal box that had been welded shut along the sides. There was a hum inside this box that could only be heard within a few steps of it. Inside, it emulated blue from it's main source of cosmic energy. The tesseract sat on its on pedestal that Tony had to create to keep it from burning through the building. It was the only way to break a hole through space and time, and now Tony regretted bringing it back to Earth.

* * *

 

Morning did not come soon enough for Octavia. It was not the first time she had slept on the streets and something inside of her told her it would not be the last. After leaving 200 Park Avenue, it was only a 15 minute walk to Times Square. When she was younger, there were a few spots she was aware of where no one would venture and she would be safe until she could get a change of clothes. Underneath many of the theaters were basements that held street access that Octavia knew exactly where to find. After her 17th birthday, she had went back to her old stomping ground to see if she could still get in but people had sealed them in hopes of keeping out the street trash. In the back alleys in 1944, they still sat and now that she had enough energy she could pick the lock and slip in with ease. The movements of all this were all too familiar to her.

Octavia did not sleep well underneath the familiar yet out of place theater. She awoke ever so often with the feeling she was back home, only to try and fall asleep disappointed that it were not so. With the day break, she found herself aching for food and knew getting food was next on her list. It would be a few more hours until shops were opened but Octavia could not force herself back to sleep. Saving the battery on her phone, she instead forced her eyes shut and imaged her return. Tony would say something sarcastic but she knew he would be glad to see her. Then she would see Steve. Her heart ached at that thought and she swallowed back the need to cry.

An eerie thought entered her mind and she realized that Steve was in fact there with her. Across the bridge he probably slept in his apartment and was none the wiser she was there longing for him. Longing for him to hold her and to tell her everything was going to be alright. He was someone she had no intention on seeing but the thought of it intrigued her nonetheless. She only knew of him during that time from what he had told her, or what she had learned through the media. Seeing it first hand would have been a different experience and she would give anything to find him, see him become the person he was meant to be. But Octavia was not there for his story and therefore could not have forced herself into it.

Then, she pondered, what if this was always meant to happen? What if she always traveled back in time and found herself on a never ending loop? Octavia's brain hurt with such thoughts and she had to force them out of her head. She could not think of what was meant to happen, or what was happening without her; she needed to think about her next move.

It would be hours before Octavia could surface the streets again and she had to make due of her time. Her first instinct was to store her energy, a process only achievable through mediation. She found now was a perfect time as any. Closing her eyes, Octavia delved deep into her mind to access the main core of her powers. This tactic was perfected when she was seven years old after her father had trained her to do such. The goal of the meditation was to store her potential energy so it wouldn't expel while she didn't use it. When unchecked, the energy inside her body would unlock countless of abilities at her disposal. If she stored the energy, she would be able to draw from it when she most needed it. With it Octavia was able to preform great acts of telekinesis and distribution of the energy inside of her through orbs she could use as weapons. Tony had even made guns that worked like connectors that narrowed the blast of her orbs like bullets. She didn't have the heart to tell Tony she could do that herself. She felt orbs caused a wider range of attack, but it was the thought that counted and she used the guns he made as often as she could. Calling the energy forward to create such tasks often would deplete Octavia, but she had found ways to thrive through it. Storing energy and using it sparingly was her best option. The second was summoning it towards her through physical contact, like she had done with the men earlier.

After the sun had risen into the sky, Octavia had felt like enough time had passed for her to venture out into the streets of old New York. The first dress shop she had found was just a few blocks away from the theater she had slept in and when she entered, she imagined she was a sight to see. Her hair stopped just above her chest, which was longer than she usually had it. The grey button she wore was trickled with blood that had splattered up from her knee. She probably looked a right mess to the store owner as she flitted through the clothes in stock. Octavia hoped the owner would not try to talk to her in her state but it was misplaced as she saw her approach.

"May I help you with anything, miss?" The woman looked her over suspiciously and Octavia moved her legs out of sight to avoid her seeing the more blood.

"Yes," Octavia said quickly. Her mind worked fast and she thought of an excuse quick enough to appease the woman. "You see, I'm in bit of a bind."

"Oh?" The shop owner asked. "How so?"

"My husband," Octavia breathed out. "He's a very important man, you see. He-he told me I must find something to wear for tonight. We're meeting someone so important and I-I have to look my best." She added a quiver to her infliction as she spoke.

The shop owner's face softened as she watched her speak, just as Octavia wanted it to. "Is your husband…a nice man?" The woman asked selectively.

"He's just authoritative, as all other men are." She made a point to be firm in that statement. Turning her attention back to the racks she shuffled through them quickly. A part of her felt guilty for acting so tenderly but she knew she had to distract her from the reality before them.

"Come with me dear." The shop owner took her hand from the blouses she rifled through and guided her towards the back of the shop. "Who exactly are you and your husband suppose to meet tonight?"

"Howard Stark." She said without skipping a beat.

"Oh, are you two going to the Expo tonight?"

The Stark Expedition. Howard Stark had started it in this very year. A fact she had forgotten about in all the chaos. If tonight was the opening, then that is where she would find him.

"Yes." She said quickly. "We've very excited to see all the things Mr. Stark has come up with."

The shop owner had lead Octavia back to the dressing rooms and pushed open one of the curtains for her. "I'll bring you some dresses worthy of Mr. Stark himself." She had said proudly. "You've definitely came to the right shop."

Octavia did not realize how much she relied on the fact that this woman would discard such an accusation on a false man in order to benefit herself. Though, if Octavia knew people well then she knew they would more than often hide from the problems before them and react to what was best suited for them. The excuse was merely needed for her appearance, regardless if it were true or not, both of them accepted it.

She stripped herself of her clothes in wait for newer ones whilst the shop keeper was away. She had to use the inside of her jeans to scrub away the red stain on her knee that had soaked over night.

Upon her return, the shop owner carried five different dresses to Octavia's likening but it did not matter to her what they looked like. In the back of her mind she was giddy with delight. How often would this happen for her? If she had her way, just this once.

Accepting the dresses with a kind thanks, she pulled them into her dressing room and skimmed them over one by one. Two were a cotton blend, one light blue that buttoned down to the hem with a white collar. Another was a green and white poke-a-dot design with a matching belt in the middle of the waist band. The next three were all silk which was one of Octavia's favorite textures. The first was a brown and pink paisley print she did not care for. The second was a bright red dress that in another life she would have chosen. It fit her in the most complementary way and she almost picked it had she not decided to keep to her low profile. Instead, the dress she had decided on was a silk peach dress that synched around her waist and stopped just above her knee. It had only been 3.79 after tax, plus 2.30 for a decent pair of shoes to go with it. That had left Octavia with barely 4 dollars but she knew that was enough for one hot meal before she made her way towards the Expo.

It probably would not take long to get there but the sooner she got there the sooner she could find Howard. If she remembered correctly he had held it in Queens. More than likely, it had opened earlier today to allow more time to see all of it. When Tony opened his Expo in 2011, it was an event that lasted all week but he had only been apart of the opening night ceremony. Howard would more than likely do the same. Which meant that if she wanted to see him at all, she would have to be there waiting.

There was nothing more she could do in between then but wait. The thought of venturing the city crossed her mind but she was more worried on missing Howard than seeing the past in full. The less she stepped around the less she would change, she reminded herself. She would just have to move forward as she planned and forgo the rest.


	2. Sinner's Prayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hear my sinner's prayer, it's the only one i know
> 
> it sure as hell don't rhyme but it's good
> 
> as good as gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [disclaimer: you know i dont own marvel but for fear of being sued im going to reiterate that i still do not own any of these characters and this is just for fun remember?]

 

**QUEENS**

**1943**

The World Exposition of Tomorrow had replaced the cancelled World's Fair in 1943. Many speculated that with so many sponsors towards the Exposition that the World Fair did not have the means to fund what they needed. It was no matter to the public, since all in the vicinity came too see the wonders of the future presented by Howard Stark.

When Octavia bought her $1.30 ticket into the fair grounds and she saw the hopes of the future in the stalls before her, she could not help but feel a little bittersweet for all those present. Most of them would not live to see the wonders imagined before them come to fruition. Other inventions would become archived designs of improbable creations that will never see the light of day after this. Though most of what she saw would find its resting places in time, there was a delight in seeing them in their prime.

Steve would tell her that things were simpler back then, that they didn't have to worry about as much as we do now. Of course, Octavia had felt that things were always a bit more simpler in the past and it was the present that made everything so difficult. The most important thing for everyone was survival throughout the war. Some people kept their heads down and did little to help, but there would be others that did all in their power to create a kind of solution. Joining the army was the first line of defense for most and the next were bonds so the army could pay for bullets to protect the ones that were fighting. After that women would take the jobs the men had left behind so they could do their part in protecting their country. Children would collect scraps from the street in exchange for extra change, people would forgo basic imports due to the many embargoes across the countries, and, most importantly, sons and daughters were being sent home covered in flags.

This Expo was more than just an occasion to showcase all the accomplishments of the men from their time, but a distraction for what was happening just over the sea. Tonight the city will be a buzzed for the amazing Synthetic Man instead of the incredible men that gave their lives in service. There was a time that Octavia believed she could not follow in such deep footsteps. Then she saw a hole rip open above Manhattan and a horde of an alien fleet attack all she ever knew. Everyone had their breaking points, she thought, some were Nazis - some a little more alien.

Being at the fair was more than Octavia expected it would be. The volume of people in itself was enough to keep her buzzing from the activity. If she wasn't careful, Octavia could get swept away into the crowds and feed off the energy it provided for days. Without physical contact it was impossible to get a strong enough dose to store inside, but when she was surrounded by hundreds of people she didn't need to touch them to obtained what they spilled out. Energy worked throughout everyone, expelling or absorbing, and most of the time it was there waiting to be collected. Often it would sit until a need for it called, and when Octavia was around it answered her call.

Octavia had been at the fair for half the afternoon but there had been no sign of Howard yet. Signs read all over that he was to appear at some point to unveil a new invention but Octavia was growing impatient. It would be soon she would see him, she had to remind herself. All she could do now was enjoy the time she had before that.

Walking from vendor to vendor, she saw inventions that indeed carried weight throughout the future. An assortment of aerosol cans were available for companies to purchase for their products. A/C units were even being advertised for people to put into their stores. Along the food stalls were multiple M&M stands advertising different colors for their new brand, honoring itself as the candy of the Army. Octavia counted a few cents left in the pocket of her dress after getting food and the ticket into the Expo. She figured there was enough for some sweets.

And maybe enough to keep her mind preoccupied while she waited.

Soon, she thought, she would see him and she would be on her way home. She didn't think about what would happen if Howard couldn't do it because that wasn't an option for her. This isn't where she belonged and she had to get back somehow.

Night fell over the park quickly but the park was far from dark. Strings of lights hung over their heads attached to lamp posts that helped light the pavement. Fireworks blasted in the sky as Octavia moved through the crowd. Many people stopped to look but Octavia pushed against them. She was half way into the park when she heard the people she was passing say Stark had started his presentation. From what she heard, he had been showcasing his prototype for the flying car. That tickled Octavia and she suppressed the urge to share the failure in the invention once she saw him. But first, she had to get to him.

People grouped in masses around the stage where Howard made his display. Her best bet would be to get backstage somehow, to catch him before he made his exit. She might just have enough time where to figure out where to head off to while Howard enjoyed the spotlight.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a small figure emerge from the crowd just as she passed by. It brought Octavia to a stop when she recognized his stark blond hair and she turned to watch him stride away towards an army enlistment tent that was set up just on the outside of the horde. With her breath caught in her throat, she took a step back and followed the figure into the tent.

He was so small. So thin. She knew he had not always looked the way he did when they met but she never had imagined he would have looked this way. Steve stood tall for a man of 5'3'' with his shoulders held straight back as they sloughed under his ears. She watched him step onto this small podium so to see his reflection as a soldier. His head barely grazed the shoulders of the headless man in the fun mirror and the image weighed heavy inside Octavia's heart.

When Steve took his step off the podium, their eyes met across the tent and Octavia's face burned with embarrassment at being caught staring. Steve turned red himself and Octavia compelled herself to move forward so she could explain.

"I-I'm sorry." She said quickly. "You just…" She searched for her words carefully. "You remind me of someone."

"Oh," Steve muttered. He looked down at himself before glancing back over to her. "Little brother?"

Octavia shook her head, a light smile stretching on her lips at the sound of his voice. "No…No, my fiancé."

Steve's cheeks turned pink once more and he cleared his throat. "Is he a soldier?"

"Yes." She said, smiling a little more with a slight daze in her eyes. "He's a captain, actually."

"That's pretty impressive for a little guy."

"You'd be surprised how much little guys can do."

A smile grew on Steve's lips and a flutter rippled through her chest.

"Hey Steve!" A boisterous voice called out behind them and when Octavia turned she saw a tall broad shouldered military officer approaching them.

"Bucky!" Steve waved his friend over. Octavia thought about stepping out quickly but it was too late - he had noticed her. "Whose your friend here?" The young Bucky Barnes asked his own friend as he looked Octavia up and down. For every charmless attribute Steve had then, Bucky Barnes made up for it tenfold. She could tell from his alluring smile he was a ladies' man. Or at least he was trying to be. When he held his hand out for her to shake, she wondered if he expected a delicate hold from her. Instead, she gripped his hand in a firm grasp and gave it a singular shake. "Olivia," she lied fluidly. "Olivia Stunner." She let go of his hand as quick as she could.

"Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, ma'am. At your service." He bowed his head lightly, keeping his charming smile plastered on his lips. "I see you've met my best friend here. Have you introduced yourself to the pretty girl yet, Steve?"

Steve had outstretched his hand for Octavia and gave her a sheepish grin. "Steve Rogers." There was this white hot burn inside of Octavia's stomach as she reached her hand out and slipped it into Steve's to shake. This time her grip was a little more gentle than before. His hold back on her was clammy and he let go of her hand as soon as it touched. This wasn't the man she knew, neither of them were, she thought as she glanced back between them. "A pleasure to meet you both," she stated kindly and most wholeheartedly.

"Miss Stunner, did you happen to catch the start of Mr. Stark's presentation? A flying car. Can you imagine?" Bucky let out a chuckle and looked to Steve to share in the laugh. Steve did not return this laugh, instead he just gave a weak smile and when Octavia had glanced back at him he adverted his gaze.

"I actually missed it." Then, she remembered what she had to do. "Is he finished already?"

"Uh," Bucky turned back behind him to see the mass of people still cluttering around the stage. "Almost. In my opinion, he talks a little too much."

Octavia bit her tongue at the comment, having many things she could respond with but none of them were meant for now. "Well, if you gentlemen would excuse me," she spoke softly. She took a step backwards but Bucky's voice carried loud enough to stop her. "Wait a minute," he chuckled again. "We've only just met. Would you like to join us? We were just about to go dancing."

"She's getting married, Bucky." Steve pointed out to his friend.

"Doesn't mean she's dead." Bucky quipped back. "We have a couple of friends with us but I'm sure we can make room for one more."

"As tempting as your offer is, Sergeant Barnes, I am afraid I will have to decline. I must find my father before he leaves."

"Steve here could help you look for you dad." Bucky said quickly, giving his friend a smug smile.

"Buck," Steve said with a firm resolve. She could tell he did not appreciate his friend trying to pimp him out this way but what she would have given anything to say yes right now. Their eyes caught again and she wondered if his heart was stuck in his throat as well.

"I'm sorry," Octavia said. "I really appreciate it, but I have go." She took a few more steps back until she reached the end of the tent and turned around to call out to them, "Good luck!" Turning back, she quickly made her way into her original direction with Steve and Bucky disappearing behind her.

Her footsteps weighed heavy with every step she took away from the tent. There was piece of her back there and it ached throughout her to not know the next time she would be in his presence again. But with those steps she took towards Howard was a step forwards to her Steve and their future. If it was still there.

A large man stood serious in all black off the side of the stage with his hands pursed tightly together in front of his waist. It was obvious to Octavia that this was the person she had to get around. One person guarding the backstage entrance was suspicious, especially knowing the person who orchestrated all of this. Maybe he was feeling cocky. The trick into sneaking past security was simple. All Octavia had to do was act like she had belonged there - avoid eye contact, walk with determination, and if anyone stopped her, she would just talk to them as if she were going to fire them. 9 out of 10 times it worked, the one exception being the moment her cover had been blown and she had to fight her way out of that situation. She hoped it wouldn't come to that tonight. Her dress was too short for it.

Over her shoulder she heard the roar of the crowd cheering and she glanced over to see the dancers skipping off the stage. The security guard caught the sight as well, turning his head slightly to watch them bounce pass behind the curtains. That was her moment. She stepped forward quickly. One foot moving in front of the other before she slipped passed the metal gate behind the large officer. If his head turned to see her pass by she didn't see. She kept forward as she made her way up the steps to the back of the stage. There was a gaggle of dancers changing or hurriedly putting their things away so they could return home. Octavia looked over their heads trying to catch a glimpse of the man she was looking for.

Her heart pounded hard against her chest and she had to clench her fists together to keep her hands from shaking. There was a deep firm stab under her lungs, pumping against her ribs telling her that he was close. She didn't know what she would do if she couldn't find him.

Across the sea of glittering red, white and blue darted a head of short black hair not adorned with the outrageous headdress all the others wore. Through a break in the coterie, Octavia saw him dressed in a black tux laughing with a dark haired man dressed the same. A magnet pulled Octavia forward as she pushed through the girls around her. She wouldn't take her eyes off him and with the thought that he would leave at any moment she quickened her pace. As she got closer she could hear his laugh echo louder and louder. It was just like she remembered it.

Stepping out from the crowd she had a full view of him. He seemed smaller than she remembered, younger for sure, but he had the same big smile toothy grin partly hidden under his thick black mustache. Her jaw trembled and she clenched it tight before taking a few large steps towards him. Then, she realized she had no idea what she was going to say.

"Mr. Stark," she spoke determinedly. He turned his attention to her as soon as he heard her voice. His brow twitched slightly as he registered her in front of him, but his smile did not falter.

"My, my, my," Howard said, giving her a once over from head to toe. "Where did you come from, miss?"

Octavia's lips picked up slightly in the corner. "Wouldn't you like to know?" She joked and she smiled a little more at his laugh.

"What can I do for you, darling? Would you like an autograph or something?"

"Actually," Octavia breathed out, her smile falling slightly. "I need your help."

Howard chuckled again, looking back to his friend who gave a weak smile in return. "What's your name, miss?" Octavia recognized that rough voice with a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"Olivia." She spoke softly, eyeing her father's business partner. "Olivia Stunner."

Obadiah did not look impressed since he did not recognize the name, but it was Howard's faltering humorous expression into a bemused one that caught Octavia's attention. "No," he said. "It's not."

"How could you possibly know that, Howard?" Obadiah asked sharply. Octavia wondered the same.

"I just do." There was no more humor in his eyes as they fixated on hers and she thought for a second that he recognized her.

"As far as you know, Mr. Stark," Octavia declared with a light smile. "My name is Olivia, and I can't tell you why but I do need your help."

"Enough," Obadiah waved his hand between them. "Look, you're a pretty girl and all," he said, using the same hand to motion up and down at her. "But you'll have to try a lot harder next time if you want to get an interview." He then turned his attention back to Howard. "Mr. Stark, the pilot is waiting, we have to go now."

Howard glanced back to Obadiah and nodded his head in understanding but before he could look back Octavia had grabbed his wrist in a quick motion. "No, please wait!" Octavia urged. She felt his heartbeat pump against her fingers as hers pumped against her chest in unison.

"You're my only hope." She pleaded.

They looked at each other for a long time and Octavia hope to hell that he could see the truth in her eyes.

"Hey you!" The large security officer had indeed seen Octavia slip past him and had followed backstage to find her. With his giant hand he had grabbed her shoulder and pulled her backwards against his chest. She had almost lost her grip of Howard as she was jerked back but he had grabbed hold of her wrist in a tight clasp of his fingers. "I'm sorry, Mr. Stark." The security officer acknowledged the brilliant inventor among them. "She snuck past me."

"This little thing?" Howard laughed. "Maybe I should put more of you out there so little girls don't sneak past you anymore."

"I am not a little girl." Octavia objected sharply. She tried to roll her shoulder out of the man's clutches but he gripped it tighter with his fat fingers.

Howard let out another chuckle as he watched her. "No. You're not." He glanced back to the security officer behind her. "Let her go." He flicked his wrist lightly in the air. "She's with me."

"Howard…" Obadiah's voice had a warning tone to it but Howard ignored him all the same.

"Go on." Howard commanded and the officer released his hold on Octavia's shoulder.

"My apologies, Mr. Stark. Mr. Stane. Ma'am." He gave each a nod before taking a step back. "I'll return to my post." He declared before turning and walking back to the entrance.

"Howard, what do you think you're doing?" Obadiah hissed low. "We don't have time for this, do you understand that?"

"I understand that it's my helicopter and they'll wait as long as I want them to." Howard said back harshly to Obadiah, quieting him further. He looked back to Octavia and the hard look he had used melted away. "Besides," he smiled again. "I'm a sucker for a damsel in distress."

Octavia clasped both of her hands around Howard's and gave them a tight squeeze. "Thank you, Mr. Stark." She breathed out as a small wave of relief rushed over her. "You have no idea what this means to me."

Howard pulled one of his hands out from her grasp and placed it over hers. "Where are you headed to, Miss Stunner? Maybe I can give you a lift somewhere while you explain exactly what it is you need help with."

"A lift in your helicopter?" She asked and he nodded. "The places I need to go, Mr. Stark, we'll need something much more impressive than an that."

Howard let out a boisterous laugh and slapped her hand playfully in response. "Wonderful, Miss Stunner! Absolutely wonderful. Please," he pulled both of his hands from her and extended his arm for her to take. Octavia slid her arm through and felt his hold tighten on her. "Obadiah, I want you to see to the car getting onto the truck. Make sure the movers don't drop it like they did before."

"Are you serious?" Obadiah scoffed lightly but when Howard gave him a look he pursed his lips together. "Fine." He said through gritted teeth. He glanced between the two of them arm-in-armed and he let out a mocking chuckle. "Have a safe flight." He stepped backwards and as Octavia followed Howard out, she could not shake the feeling of Obadiah's eyes on her.

"Your friend is definitely a prickly one." Octavia stated as they walked down the steps from the backstage. A black town car was waiting for Howard just behind the stage and when the driver saw them approaching, he pulled open the back door for them to slide in.

"Obadiah takes some getting used to," he said as he allowed her to get in first. "But he means well. He's very protective." After Howard had slid in, the driver closed the door behind him and walked around the other side to get into his seat.

"If he thinks I am so dangerous why did you agree to go off alone with me? Especially since you value his opinion so much."

"It's because I don't value his opinion." Howard said blatantly. "Obie has been a great friend of mine for a long time but he's a business man first and foremost. He definitely follows logic and reason more than anything else."

Octavia heard the car rumbled to life and jerk forward on the pavement below. "And don't you follow your logic, Mr. Stark?"

"Of course I do." Howard glanced back at her out of the corner of his eye. "But every now and again I have to listen to my true instincts."

A trickle shuddered down her spine as she felt his eyes on her. Inside the car was dark and she only saw his face in small glimpses as they passed by the lights outside - but, in the little moments she did see his expression - she saw no warmth in it for her. "And what do they say now?" She inquired heavily.

There was a sound of hard plastic being gripped and bumbled as Howard placed a handgun in his lap, pointing the nozzle towards Octavia's rib side. "That maybe you aren't to be trusted."

Octavia gripped the door handle as her body tensed in reflex. "You think this is the first time someone has pointed a gun at me?" She chided.

"See," Howard persisted as he tightened the hold on the grip, raising it so she could see it better in the flashing lights they passed. "If you keep saying things like that, it's going to make it harder for me to trust you. Has anyone ever told you that you sound like a spy?"

Her lips picked up in the corner and she had to restrain the urge to smile. "Actually," she started but pursed her lips together to stop herself from continuing. She looked from the gun to her father's youthful expression. Octavia remembered trying to count the black hairs littered throughout his white mustache as she grew up, but she knew that this man in front of her did not have a single grey hair on his face yet.

"Let's think about this, huh?" She suggested as she gave a slight motion to his handgun. "Let's say I am a spy. And you kill me. Shoot me right in the chest and risk staining your pretty leather seats. What then? You just dispose of my body?"

"God, no." Howard grimaced. "I'd probably have someone else do that."

Octavia scoffed. "Honestly," he continued. "If you were a spy, I'd probably hand you over to my friends in the military and have them take care of you. They could get some good information out of you."

"No," She stated, her jaw setting tight. "They wouldn't."

Howard let out an audible chuckle. "You're very confident, I'll give you that. So," he waved his gun-free hand at her "Now I assume you'd like to venture into the idea that you are not a spy. Which, I'll be honest, you're going to have to really prove cause I'm not seeing you as just another lonely housewife."

"Is that the only thing women can be nowadays? Spies or wives?" She jested and even laughed a bit from it, but breathed her laugh back in deeply when she realized Howard saw no humor in this.

Octavia pursed her lips and knew she was cornered. The best thing she could do was remember her undercover training techniques and stick with them. The first rule; when you couldn't tell the whole truth - tell parts of it. "Alright," she said slowly. "Alright, you're right. I am a spy."

She heard the gun cock and she felt her body tense so hard her stomach started to cramp. "Do you think if I was an enemy spy I would tell you that?!" She yelled.

"I don't know what the enemy spy would do. So why don't you keep talking?" Howard encouraged and she hoped they didn't hit a pothole of some kind. She contemplated just waving the gun out of his hand, but it was too late now. She couldn't risk it going off in anyway or the exposure of her powers just yet.

"Okay," she croaked breathlessly. "Here's the truth. I'm on a very important, very special mission. I am a long way away from home and there is no one else in this world right now that can help me. Except you. You are the only person that I can trust, Howard." She tried to speak in a way that didn't echo on how terrified she felt inside but Octavia hoped he heard it for what it was, a cry for help.

"Where do you call home?"

"New York City. 2025."

The tires of the car rumbled below as it moved onto the highway. Octavia didn't realize they had driven away from Flushing Meadows park and onto the Grand Central parkway heading East towards Manhattan. She had lived her whole life in New York, a few decades wasn't going to confuse her on which way they were going.

"You're lying." Howard accused. "Time travel is impossible."

"Is it?" She quipped. "You tell me, Howard Stark. How else would I know that you were born August 15th 1917 in Richford? That your brother's name is Edward he's the one that gave you that scar on your left knee?"

"How did he give it to me?"

"He was chasing you around the house and you fell into the glass coffee table. You always thought it was his fault but-but you knew you should have been looking where you going."

"Who told you this?"

"You did." She pressed her lips together a bit tighter than before. "When I was younger."

"Well that's pretty vague isn't it?" He was skeptic still. "You could have done your research, there's hospital records of that."

"I'll tell you one thing from your future." She offered.

Howard grew quiet and in the silence she heard him release the cock of his gun, but as they fluttered past the street lamps she could see he had not lowered it.

"Anything that I want to know?" He asked. At least she had caught his interest.

"It can't just be anything," she said. Her whole speech felt rushed and she realized she had been holding her breath. "If I tell you something... it could create a butterfly effect and I can't risk that."

"Let's be honest, it's a little late for that." He pointed out. "Considering if what you say is true, if you have traveled back into time your pure exists here can affect your future. No matter what you tell me, the chances of you changing my future are just as equal as you not."

Biting her tongue, she tried to think of a way she could argue back. The irony was that one day she would in fact change his future just by being born, which might have been the kind of thing he would need to hear to believe her. But the risk of her life or even Tony's by sharing her parentage with him was still too great for her. She thought maybe, just maybe, she could offer him something in exchange.

"How about this?" She suggested. "If I help you with something then you help me with something."

"What makes you think that'll work?"

"Because I know what you're really working on, and it's not the Manhattan project either. If you shoot me, or turn me into the government, you'll never be able to figure out the final key."

"The final key for what?"

"For the Super Soldier Serum. I know you're working on it with Dr. Abraham Erskine. And I know how to make it work."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ayeayeyahayeyah]
> 
> [commentary below because im lowkey pretentious af ]
> 
> [if you liked it, thank you! if you didn't, thanks still! sorry about the false posting earlier, i forgot to edit *cryfaceemojihere*(#arethoseonthecomputerordoihavetocopyandpaste?)]
> 
> [so i kind put a bit of thought into octavia's character in this chapter. in the next one, you'll see a bit more of her childhood with howard before we get back to the initial story, but in this chapter i try to express her character a lot more through her actions. she's impatient, but waiting doesn't really seem bother her and she tries to make pass the time but she's very mindful of her quest to get 'back to the future' (roll credits) and she knows there is no time to stop and smell the flowers because the sooner she finds howard the sooner she can convince him to build this time machine for her but when she sees steve (who she does have a future with) she kind of abandons her overall goal just to see him back before he was the person that she now knows. it's a sweet moment for them because neither one of them are meant for each other right now, but they could almost be in another life, and they still have a long way to go before they can be reunited again. i wanted to make the impression that the only person she would give up her future for was the person she was trying to get back to.
> 
> i think that the next chapter is going to really bring a better understanding to octavia and howard's relationship because there should be a sense here that she misses him dearly and that they had a pretty decent relationship when he was alive but it's a complicated relationship nonetheless. from howard's perspective, here's this gorgeous woman who comes out of no where begging for his help and she wont even give him her real name so he has to really put the pressure on her to get out the truth otherwise he probably wont trust whatever she has to say]


	3. The Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i can put back all the pieces
> 
> but they might not fit the same

**OCTAVIA'S ROOM**

At four years old, Octavia's father sat her down on her little baby blue bed next to the matching baby blue beside table that held a clock radio and a pretty white and gold mermaid lamp that glowed a deep yellow beneath it's purple shade. Which was Octavia's favorite thing in the whole world. It was the first thing she saw every morning and the last thing she saw every night. She always thought that she, like the mermaid, was just another fish out of water and the only thing she ever wanted was just one chance to dive in.

Her room was a gigantic open space with four big walls that held all of her things on one side and all of her father's on the other. There were no real windows, except for the ones that she had crudely drawn on the wood paneling with crayons. The walls had a pink and blue stripped wallpaper that stopped just at the paneling, with little flowers scattering through the lines up towards the ceiling. There were two doors, one that lead to her own bathroom (in which she demanded that everything in it be purple) and then another that only her father ever used. It had an intense security lock panel and she was never allowed on the other side.

That day her father sat down next to her - on her little baby blue bed next to her matching baby blue beside table that holstered her favorite thing in the whole wide world - was when she found out that inside these four walls was as big as her world got. This educational moment was prompted by a series of tantrums in attempts to convince her father to take her to the zoo. The first thing she had read was an animal book when she was three. It was another one of her favorite things and she desperately wanted to see the lions and the tigers because of it. She wanted to watch the monkeys swing and laugh when they scratched their butts. Wanted to play with the lemurs and kiss an elephant and ask them to remember her. She read they had really good memories. Octavia could not say the same for herself, because she could not remember the exact words her father had told her in that moment but over time he would say them again and again until eventually, they burned into her memory forever.

First, he told her that he did want to take her to see the lions, the monkeys, and lemurs. He wanted her to be able to do all the things she wanted to do, but he was deeply afraid that that would never happen. Howard Stark had told his four year old daughter that the world was not ready for her and would not be for a very long time. The safest thing for her, and for everyone else, was her to stay right there in that room. Since then, she had always known that she was different and that the people she read about or heard about on the radio were like her at all.

For years, Octavia lived in that little room alone. Although Howard would come visit her almost everyday, bringing her gifts and clothes, and books, she knew it was from an outside world that she did not belong to. But when Octavia looked back on those days it never made her sad. She knew she was lonely, yes, but she was a happy child that found joy in her father's presence and often did nothing else but wait for his arrival.

As she got older, Howard tried to explain to her what he had called her abilities and that the only way for her to get outside was if she learned how to control them. She had not had access to a great external source of energy since her birth so her powers remained stagnate and she was unable to use them. Howard knew that wouldn't be the case once she was out in the world. He told her that in order to control her powers, they had to understand them first.

Two months before her sixth birthday, Octavia's father had hooked her up to this big machine that he had brought in. He put little round sticky things on her arms, on her stomach and two on her forehead and told her that the machine was going to record her reactions and that there was nothing to fear as long as he was there with her. He had lied. For two years, it was the most painful experience she had ever experienced. Each time he had set her up to that machine, he would turn it on and send shock waves of electric energy into her body. Her body would seize instantly, jerking around on her little baby blue bed as each electric pulse resonated throughout her veins like dying fireworks. It would be moments after the first wave ended that she could feel the affects that lingered behind. Although the jolts of forced energy were the worst of it, afterwards it left her in an euphoric daze that remains unmatched. Every nerve would come alive inside of her and she could feel the presence of every single thing in that room. Things moved at will without her ever having to touch it. She could feel pure energy radiating out from her father and there was this desire in the pit of her soul that wanted all he had. Before the monster inside of her could collect it, another zap would surge through her body.

Over the years, Howard had uncovered the complexity of Octavia's powers and started to grasp how they worked. Her body craved energy in a way no other human's did. As plants consumed sunlight, Octavia had to consume great amounts of energy to fuel the telekinetic power that lied inside of her. It didn't stop at electric energy or thermal energy. Through many experiments, Howard concluded that Octavia could absorb gradated amounts of electromagnetic energy, often found in radiation, and translational energy (which was the type of kinetic energy that was created from motion). And the higher level of exposure she had to it, the more her body craved.

When she was seven, the experiments were no longer enough to sustain the growing need and her body started feeding off its own energy. Her health deteriorated over just a few short months and Howard Stark had run out of options. Even though she had been practicing controlling herself, Howard was nowhere near ready to expose his daughter to the world where she could have the energy she craved. In a moment of desperation, he did the only thing he could think of to save his daughter's life.

As he stuck her with three long needles filled with a vibrant blue liquid in their vials, he told her to count down from a hundred, and to keep counting until there were no more numbers left. He put her in a small metal like coffin and as he closed it over her head, Octavia thought that was the last thing she would ever see.

The pain after that moment was so intense, she did not think she could make it through. All she could see was a blinding white light but she preferred the comfort of darkness closed eyes brought. A blazing sensation started in the center of her body and ripped through every nerve, every muscle, every blood vessel she had increasing more and more until everything was on fire. She tried to count down, as her father had suggested, but even thinking was excruciating. Instead, she screamed in attempt to rid the agony that coarse through her. When she thought she could not take one more second of it, an inexplicable warmth of security bloomed inside of her. It stemmed from the same burning in her core that seared throughout the rest of her body. As the feeling grew bigger it had enveloped her entire body and the pain ebbed away just as slowly as it had began. Soon, all could feel were her lungs pumping hard enough to catch up with her breathing.

* * *

  
Octavia didn't remember the rest of that day or the days that followed it. The first thing she remembered was waking up in her little blue bed, looking at her favorite thing in her whole little world and knowing she would never be a fish out of water again. That night in her future - that remains in her father's past - when she looked down the barrel of the gun he had kept pointed at her, she knew this was not the worst thing Howard Stark had ever done to her. Speaking Erskine's name had frozen the young Stark in his seat, and Octavia heard him adjust his grip against the hard plastic. It was half a thought in her mind before she reacted, her hand flying out and chopping Howard in the throat. He gasped, reaching for his throat with his free hand and releasing the gun from the other. Octavia caught it with her left hand turning it around with a quick spin of the grip in her palm before she shoved the muzzle into his stomach.

"Tell him to keep driving." She ordered as she nodding her head to the driver who had swerved when hearing Howard's exclamation.

Howard glared hard at her, rubbing his throat to ease back the ache she had inflicted on him. "It's alright, Edwin. Keep going." He choked out and coughed to clear his throat. His gaze shifted from her to his pistol pressed in by his lower kidney. When he picked his head back up he gave her a pointed look. "Now what do you think you're going to do with an empty gun?"

With her thumb she pushed down the rear sight and lined her finger along the trigger. "Do you really want me to call that bluff or are you going to start taking me seriously?" Her tone unshaken as she challenged him.

They stared at each other for a long time, both waiting to see what the other would do. Octavia worried they might not get back from this and that maybe, because of it, she would never return home. Before she could lower her hand in defeat, Howard laughed. He had laughed so hard that she could feel his stomach vibrating through the gun.

"I don't think I have ever met a woman like you before." He said once his laughter subsided.

"Well there's a reason for that." She pointed out smartly.

"Put that thing down," he cooed, putting his hand on the top of the barrel and pushed it from him. "It's definitely not load. I am not a violent man, Miss Stunner, in fact I hate it very much."

Octavia loosened her hold on the grip and looked at her father with a furrowed brow of puzzlement. "Why do you carry around an unloaded gun?" She asked firmly.

"Because no one else knows it's not loaded." He said matter-of-factly before pulling the gun from her hand. "Now, tell me how you know about Dr. Abraham Erskine."

Octavia could not help but be annoyed in that moment. It was amazing that he could catch her off guard like that but she was still left unsure whether he believed her or not. She had to do more, say more if she was going to convince him. "When I was little," her voice deliberately soften as she spoke. "I was injected with the serum you helped him create. It saved my life, Mr. Stark."

"When?" He pressed.

"40 years from now."

Howard scoffed. "Are you telling me it takes two decades for us to synthesize and complete it?"

"No, actually the two of you complete it by the end of the year." She affirmed and Howard remained silent. "You decide to use Vita Radiation because it's the only way to trigger the serum inside of the human body."

"How-how do you…" He stammered. "I've only just discussed using the radiation with Abraham this evening. We talked before I went on stage, it's just an option that we are looking at."

She shook her head lightly. "It's going to be what you use to make it work. In a few months time, Erskine is going to tell you that he's found someone for the first round of testing. It'll happen in Brooklyn and it will only happen once."

"Why only once?"

"I can't say."

"Yes, you can." Howard pressed but Octavia remained quiet.

"Alright," he waved his hand in the air before bringing it to his chin and gave it a few scratches of wonderment. "So what is it exactly that you want for this information? Do you think I have a time-machine lying around because I can promise you that I don't. No one does, not even the Germans."

"I know." She gulped. "You're going to have to help me build it."

Edwin the driver turned off the parkway, curving over the 278 and taking what would later be known as the Robert F. Kennedy toll bridge until he exited onto 2nd Ave. They were heading to the private airway the Stark's had owned off of Manhattan Ave and Octavia started to wonder where she would go if she didn't stay with Howard. Which seemed more and more likely the more she spoke.

"Look," she said hurriedly knowing the sooner they got there the sooner she would be out of time. "I know I sound crazy. I know you're thinking that none of this is possible but it is." She grabbed both of his hands and cupped them between hers, gripping them tight once more. "You said you trusted your instincts and all I'm asking for right now is that you trust me too. Please," she pleaded, gripping tight around his knuckles. "I cannot get home without you."

Octavia didn't know if it was her pleading, what she had said about the serum or Dr. Erskine, or if her father had recognized that unmistakable surge of passion she mustered throughout herself, but Howard had pulled his hands from hers like he did before and covered them in a similar manner. The car had stopped moving, she realized. They must have reached their destination.

"Okay, dear," he avowed. "I will help you along to your future."

* * *

  
As long as Octavia had known, Tony owned Stark's Private Skyline Services and all the offices in the building below it. He took her up in her first helicopter ride over the city when she was sixteen, right after they had found one another. Walking into that building with Howard, with his hand on her back guiding her to the elevator, she had the same feeling she did when Tony escorted her in the first time. Their hands had felt the same, resting on the middle of her back as they waited for the elevator. Her stomach flushed as she saw him flick his wrist before he checked the time on his watch, just as Tony had. The lobby was quiet, as it was the first time she had been there, with only the sound of the elevator coming down. After that first trip with Tony, she had walked through that lobby and waited for that elevator many times. She couldn't count how many times she had flown in the air, by copter or by jet, but nothing was like that first time with her brother. Not until she entered that building with her father almost thirty years later.

The only thing that bothered her was Howard had insisted on holding her bag once they had gotten out of the car. She offered her thanks, but kept the brown leather satchel close to her presence. They did not speak when they stepped into the lobby, or the elevator, or when Howard pressed the button for the rooftop. It wasn't until the doors closed and Howard spoke that her sense of de je vu dissipated. "So, Miss Stunner," there was a light infliction to his voice. "Tell me - have you ever flown before?"

"Yes," she answered. "Plenty of times."

"Good." He glanced back at her and gave her a charming smile from under his dark mustache. "First timers usually get sick."

Without looking back at him, she spoke, "Did you throw up during your first time flying?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his smile falter.

The elevator doors opened onto the rooftop and she was almost blown back from the force of wind rushing out from the helicopter blades. Howard grabbed the back of Octavia's arm and pulled her forward. They stepped onto the paved and painted rooftop, pushing against the gusts of wind as they approached their ride. "Mr. Stark!" A man beside the door of the copter screamed out over the deafening sound. Octavia figured him the copilot after climbing in and seeing another man situated in front of her at the controls. Howard had grabbed the same handle that Octavia did on her ascent into the chopper and pulled himself up into the seat beside her. This one was a lot smaller than the ones she was used to. The pilots chairs stopped mere inches from her knee and she kept leaning into her own seat to avoid pressing into his back.

The doors closed hard behind them, latching into place as Howard handed her a pair of giant headphones. He motioned for her to put them on as she took them from his hands. She slipped them on as he did and the pads against her ears drowned out the copilot climbing in. After the buckles were snapped into place, the pilot gave a smooth pull of the yoke and lifted the helicopter into the air.

There was always a strange feeling to being lifted into the air while her body pulled itself back to the ground. It weighed from the top of Octavia's head and down to the bottom of her feet. Out of instinct, she tilted her head to the window and watched the city below her grow shrink away.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" She heard Howard's voice pump through the speakers in her ears. He was watching her watch the city disappear. "Tell me," he spoke into the microphone that connected from the ear piece and jutted out in front of his face. "Have you ever seen anything as beautiful as the skyline of New York City?"

A small smile picked up in the corner of her mouth and stretched over her lips. She wanted to say no. That's what she said when Tony had asked her on their first flight together but that was before she had stood on the edge of the universe and stared down into the abyss it. Returning home from Asgard felt like years ago, but really, it had only been less than a month. The engagement ring on her finger felt heavy then.

"No." She lied before turning back and watched the Hudson river glitter with stars below her. "Where exactly are we headed to?" She called back into her own microphone.

Howard smiled so big she could see his cheeks wrinkle up to his eyes. "Do you like to gamble, Miss Stunner?"

* * *

  
Steve did not know how long it had been since they started piecing the giant machine back together but soon he could see the sun peaking over the horizon through the windows. It hurt to blink against his dry eyes and pulling his eyelids back open got harder every time. The wiring he had been working on start to all blend together and he couldn't remember what went where anymore. He wanted to take a minute to rest his eyes - before he made a crucial mistake - but he knew if Octavia were there, she wouldn't stop.

But the thing was, she wasn't there.

Gripping the wire cutters in his hand tightly, he casted an impugning look at Tony on the top of his scissor lift as he welded the metal casings back over the exposure. His face was covered by the protective mask he wore but when the sparks stopped flying and the torch was lowered, he pushed the mask back over his head to inspect the work he created. "How did she make it turn on?" Steve had asked this question before, and then once more after that, but it still didn't make sense to him. "I know how her powers work, they couldn't do this."

"Oh you do, do you?" Tony dropped the torch onto the platform of the lift with a loud clank. He ripped the mask off the back of his head before pressing the down button with a hard force. "Since you're the expert and you were there, why don't you tell me how she turned it on then? Oh, that's right!" He exclaimed while on his descent. "You weren't here. So since you weren't there, how many times would you like me to tell you how it happened, hm?"

Steve grounded his teeth in as Tony pushed open the gate violently and took a loud step onto the ground. "And as far as knowing how her powers work," he jeered. "Trust me, you have no idea."

Slamming down his own tool, Steve pushed back the stool he was sitting on and stood with his full height. "I've trained with her. Fought beside her. It's been almost fifteen years, Tony, so trust me. I do have an idea."

"Yeah, and I guess fifteen years was just enough time for the both of you." He spat bitterly.

"And what the hell is that suppose to mean?" He asked sharply.

Tony marched forward and gave Steve a better look at him. The lack of sleep had started to wear on Tony like Steve had never seen before. His bloodshot eyes were sunken in with dark circles coating under his bottom lashes. He wasn't a young man anymore and with each year more grey would appear in his thick black hair and more wrinkles spread across his face. Watching Tony grow old was difficult since he knew his friend would have to do it alone.

"I know you guys are done with it all," Tony's lip where arched in disgust. "You've given up the fight."

The muscles in Steve's jaw loosened as his harden expression dissolved into a soft bewilderment. "Is that why you've been so upset?"

Tony's face twitch at the question but he kept his defense. "What do you care? The sooner Octavia's back - the sooner the two of you are gone." His shoulders moved up and down with his heavy breathing.

"Whatever." There was defeat in Tony's voice as his arms fell limp to his sides. His eyes lifted up to the steely arc that hung above him, and in the glowing morning light, Steve could see a glistening in his friend's eyes.

After taking in a breath, Steve stepped forward to meet him in the middle. "I didn't know you cared so much, Tony." It was a jest in true, and when Tony casted his gaze back onto Steve, he saw the small playful smile he wore.

"Shut up, Rogers." Tony tossed back, shaking his head.

Steve had stopped just a few feet away from him, gazing back up at the massive contraption above them as Tony had. "Is it because we're retiring or because you think you're losing your family?"

They quickly shared a look and they both knew the answer. Tony and Steve had known each other for years, and though it was a rocky friendship, some things could be left unsaid. One thing, Steve knew, had to be said then. "That's never going to happen, Tony," he declared. "Octavia will always be your sister, and I would never abandon you. We will always be there for you."

"Except when you're not." Tony said sharply. "What then, Rogers?"

"Then you come to us," Steve stated without a second thought. "And we figure out whatever it is together. Like we always have."

Tony pursed his lips together but Steve saw the tension alleviate from his shoulders. "You're very annoying. Has anyone ever told you that?"

After a moment of thought and a light chuckle, Steve said, "Yeah, you."

"Well, you should really work on that."

Steve could help but roll his eyes at Tony but he lifted his arm and gave his shoulder a squeeze all the same. "First, we're going to have get Octavia back." He said encouragingly.

Tony let out a small sigh, shaking his head in disbelief. "We still don't even know where the hell she is."

Steve wanted to nod in agreement but an inkling told him that wasn't true. It had started earlier, just before the sun had risen, and something in his gut was telling him he knew exactly when and where she was. "I might…"

"What are you talking about?"

"When I first met her, I thought it was a coincidence. Then I learned Howard was her father...and I thought maybe she was her mother but now…"

"Good god man, are you ever going to finish your sentences?!" Tony asked with all his patience flown into the wind.

Steve gave Tony a sharp look but dismissed the comment in the end. "There was this woman in 1943 I had seen a couple of times in the year. First at the fair, then several times after that with Howard. He...he had said she was his assistant but what if...what if it was her?"

"What makes you think it was her?"

"Her name. I remember her name. Olivia Stunner. That's-"

"That's Octavia's undercover name S.H.I.E.D. assigned to her." Tony finished for him.

Steve nodded but stopped when a thought came to his mind. "Tony, did you designed this?" He motioned to the mechanism they stood underneath.

Tony looked up and around, starting from the top of the arc to the power generators it stood on. Most of the parts had been archived in Howard's vault and when he had died, Obadiah took it upon himself to clear it out. A lot of his father's inventions were discarded or destroyed but, some, had been packaged and sent out into the world for safekeeping. Before they had gotten the call to Asgard, one of these packages arrived for Tony with a short letter written in his father's hand. Inside the large shipping packages were pieces of the time machine that Tony and Steve stood underneath now. The note had read; "Turn it on." and nothing more.

* * *

  
The lobby she walked through with Howard had been redecorated throughout the years but Octavia still recognized the Empire City Casino and Raceway that sat in the middle of Yonkers. The sounds of slots being sorted dinged loud into her ears and she held her breath to avoid the smoke that had collected just above their heads. Howard's hand had found its spot on the back of her arm again and with a tight grip he pulled her through the crowd. A thump in her chest told her to make him let go, to not follow him any further. Another thump against her breastplate told her she had no where else to go if she didn't. So, she kept pace towards a set of elevators with the man beside her to spite the strong hold he had on her.

When they reached the golden doors, he pressed the up button and they waited for one of the four to open. "I thought you said we were going to gamble?" She asked.

"We are." He smiled as the door to their right binged open to reveal the lift inside.

After they had gotten in, Howard waited for the doors to close them in before pulling out a key from his breast pocket and shoving it into the fire emergency keyhole. A panic swept into her when he turned it to the left and creating a rumble beneath her feet. The elevator jerked downwards after Howard pulled his key out and placed it back into his pocket. Octavia wondered how far they would go down until they stopped. She wanted to ask where they were going, what they were going to do when they got there, and why the hell he wasn't saying anything right now. Instead, she held her tongue and watched her father carefully as she knew she would find out soon enough.

Soon enough then came soon enough as the elevator stopped moving and opened its doors to reveal a much darker hallway that held entrances to the three other elevators. The only light came from inside the elevator to illuminate their steps out of it. When the door closed behind them Octavia couldn't see her hand in front of her. Howard, on the contrary, knew exactly where to head. The hold on her arm had never wavered as he pulled her through the darkness. Octavia counted the steps she took to see how many it was to get back to the elevator - 12 steps, then a right and then another 8 steps - until she could see an excess amount of light spilling out to their feet from the end of the hallway.

As they walked closer to the doorway that held behind the source of light, she could hear the laughter and chatter of a group of men coming from behind it. Her footsteps dragged behind but Howard gave a sharp pull of her arm to keep her moving. "Come on, now. You don't want to miss all the fun, do you?" The question left a lingering sense of unease that had shivered down from her spine.

Howard pushed open the door after one singular knock and the overhead light beyond it flushed over her in a blinding flash. As her vision adjusted, she saw four men standing around a poker table all holding either cigars or crystal glasses of brown liquor. Two of them were adorned with a great amount of military medals over the deep forest green uniforms they wore. The other two, wore black and white tuxedos that mirrored Howard's. "Stark!" One of the men in tuxedos called out as they revealed themselves to the room. "We were wondering when you would show!"

"Who've you brought, Stark?" The naturally roughened voice came from one of the cigar-holding officers as asked pointedly. It took him calling attention to her for everyone else to notice Howard was not alone. Each men had their own expressions ranging from surprise to down right angry. Octavia couldn't help but feel this party had been invite only.

"Gentlemen!" Howard diverted the tension with his thunderous greeting. He pulled Octavia in with him and she heard the door slam close behind her. "Tonight, I brought some entertainment."

"Good lord, Stark," the other military officer cursed, shaking his head. "You really are demented, aren't you?"

Howard's smile faltered as his dark brows furrowed towards the man. "Jesus, Arnold, not that kind of entertainment." He grimaced. "No," he regained a smug expression over his face. "My friends, I've caught myself a German spy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [so]
> 
> [i have been working on octavia's childhood for a long time and have worked out most of the kinks i could find but i am going to flesh it out more throughout the story and i dont want anyone to think that howard is cruel. the situation is complicated for him so his best solution for her (and for himself) was to hide her away]
> 
> [if there's anything that doesn't make sense and you want to let me know, please do! im exercising and practicing here so no harm no foul]
> 
> [thanks for making it this far xoxo]


	4. The Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we are the vultures
> 
> the dirtiest kind
> 
> we'll cut you once
> 
> in your heart and your mind

**Chapter Four**

**.**

It wasn't a moment later that the four men inside that hidden room underneath the casino had pulled out their individual handguns and pointed each of them at Octavia. Her jaw was tense as her teeth grinded against one another.  _Damn,_  she thought.  _Damn, damn, damn._

"Time to give me your bag now, sweetheart." Howard addressed to her.

She slid the leather strap over her head and off her shoulder before thrusting it hard into his chest. "I thought you weren't a violent man, Mr. Stark." She seethed.

"I'm not, my dear." He let go of her arm to grab her bag and tossed it behind him on an extra table. "But they are."

"Why don't you go on ahead and take a seat, ma'am?" The older general with his roughened voice commanded. He gave a wave with his pistol, motioning to the chair beside him at the poker table in the middle of room. Octavia stared at him hard, a sharp breath piercing through her lungs with every intake and she thought of her options as she stepped forward. She thought about throwing them all across the room, depleting them of every ounce of energy they carried but no matter how fast she was she wasn't faster than a bullet. Or four. If she didn't knock them all out in time then she would be shot. But if she didn't say what they wanted to hear then she would still be shot.

Her mind raced with many scenarios as she slid into the wooden chair the general had pulled out beside him. The five men stood in a semi circle around her with four different guns pointed in her direction. Her stomach tightened but she didn't flinch at the sight. If Octavia did use her powers in that room, she ran the risk of hurting them pretty badly or worse - she could kill one of them. Depleting them of all their energy was possible but without physical contact the task of summoning the energy to her would take time. She decided in that time she could see how Howard thought this would play out.

"Where did you find this one, Stark?" One of the men in a tux had asked. He was the shortest out of all the men, stopping at the top of the shoulder of the man with thick black glasses whom he stood next to. "Geneva?"

"No, that's just where he finds his mad scientists, isn't it, Stark?" Arnold, the other general, already had his finger on the trigger. Octavia concentrated on him more than the others. No one ever felt their energy being consumed out of them, not at first. In mass groups it was easy to take bits of it without anyone noticing at all but in a smaller one, it could get a little challenging. It had to be slow or else they would realize something was wrong.

"Actually, she approached me." Howard stepped forward to divide them. "Told me she was a spy and everything."

"Goddamnit, Stark." The older general lowered his weapon sharply and sent Howard a hard stare. "You didn't bring her here because she asked you to, did you?"

"You know, I'm really starting to think you guys don't have a lot of faith in me." Howard said accusingly.

The pull had started from behind her chest just in front of her spine and stretched out like strings towards the men in front of her. Blue metaphysical threads pulsated throughout the air as they connected to the crux of force inside of their bodies. Octavia's palms slowly turned outward so her hands cupped open lightly in her lap. It was a trick she had perfected years ago, with a flick of her finger a new surge would pull through from one of them and into her.

"And I doubt she had any idea we were coming here, isn't that, right sweetheart?"

Octavia sharply snapped her attention to Howard with a cold gaze in her eye. "You said you were going to help me, you son of a bitch."

"Don't be like that, now. You've been lying since the start. And your cover story," Howard laughed loud, shaking his head in disbelief. She flicked another finger. "Please tell me you made that up on your own."

"If only I was that clever." She scoffed.

"Considering your current predicament ma'am," the older general spoke. "I'd keep an eye on that attitude of yours."

Her finger twitched. She looked between each man carefully before giving the man a small nod.

"Why don't we start with some questions?" the shorter man said. "John?" He glanced to the man in glasses. "That's your area, isn't it?"

John, the man with thick black glasses, briefly looked to the short man beside him before settling his eyes on Octavia. She flicked a finger. John had been quiet this whole time but Octavia never underestimated anyone with a gun pointed at her. There was an intensity in his stare behind those thick glasses. His arm lowered only slightly as he shifted his stance. "I suppose it is," he commented dully.

"Why don't we just shoot her, huh?" Arnold asked sharply, glancing back to his friends with a heated excitement. "If she's already admitted to being a spy why waste our time with questions?"

"She knows about Abraham." Howard blurted. "Maybe we should figure out how," he suggested.

"Stark makes an excellent point." The roughen voice of the general said. "If there's a leak in our organization, no one here is leaving until we find it. Mr. Fynn," he thundered. "Carry on."

John barely nodded before he lowered his arm completely to his side. "Very well," he sighed out before taking a step forward.

"That won't be necessary, Mr. Fynn." Octavia held her hands up to stop him and to her delight it had worked. "I'll tell you everything," her voice resounding in a lighthearted manner.

All the men froze when she had said that, looking back at one another in confusion before the older general rounded on her in a brutal turn of head. "Why?" The word rumbled from the pit of the man's stomach, a sensation that vibrated through Octavia's fingers and up through to her own vocal chords.

"Personal interests," she stated harshly as she looked him over. "But honestly? You get a woman out numbered like this," She looked between each one of them before settling back on the older one. "She'll do just about anything to survive. You were right, Mr. Stark," she casted her hard gaze onto her father. "My name isn't Olivia Stunner and I am not a very good spy. It was a randomly selected name my superiors gave me before my first undercover mission. I didn't do very well there either, which is why I stayed a handler until they realized my true potential."

"I'm sorry," the old general interjected. "I don't see how a pretty face and some nice words qualify as potential."

Octavia gave him a flash of sympathy in her narrow smile. "Thankfully, my superiors didn't agree with you. Probably for what you're about to experience, which is another reason why I've chosen to be so honest with you." Her smile faltered quickly and her fingers had stopped fidgeting. "Since you won't remember any of this anyways."

"She's not going to tell us anything!" Arnold exclaimed furiously. "Enough of this nonsense, Phillips! Let's be done with her!"

Octavia tightened her fingers as she curled them into her palm and the four men around Howard collapsed one by one to the ground. Inside her hands she could feel the swelling energy she had stolen from them soak into her skin. Her hands themselves were overwhelmed with the amount she had collected and spilled around to her knuckles in a bright blue flame. Howard made an audible gasp at the sight before him and when Octavia picked her head up she saw him take a step back towards the door. Her hand shot out instinctively, a trail of flickering blue flame following behind it.

Howard's wrist burned white hot like fire with his fingers still outstretched towards the doorknob. He struggled against the hold as he continued to try and grasp the handle but the more he reached for it the more it seared against him. Octavia seemed to have found a great deal of pleasure in their present situation as she stood up from her chair. When Howard turned to look back at her, she tried to hold back her mischievous grin but her lips stretching across her face proved it impossible. "Now," her body hummed while the crackling blue fire dissolved into her unburnt skin. "Time to do things my way."

* * *

"What the hell are you!?" Howard snapped heatedly as he kept trying to pull his wrist from its locked position. "What did you do to them!?"

She lifted a finger from her other hand and along with it the guns each of his friends had held. Howard's face fell sullen as he saw the firearms hover in midair around him. Each one of them clicked. With a shudder, he watched as they disassembled themselves and the pieces scatter across the room. "I hate guns." she declared suddenly, shaking Howard from his terror filled stance. "Have you heard the expression, 'Don't bring a knife to a gunfight?' yet?"

Howard just stared agape.

"No? Well," she said matter-of-factly. "The guns are the knives and I'm the firefight. And as far as what I did to them, you won't have to worry. They'll wake up in the morning without a memory of what happened. Like a bad hangover."

"Y-you…" Howard stammered as he tried to piece his sentence together. He didn't know where to start. "You were telling the truth, weren't you?" he tried to catch his breath with heavy intakes. "The serum…you said you were injected…"

"Yes," she nodded as she took a few steps closer to him. "I was but it did not give me my abilities, if that's what you're thinking."

"Then…" . His colleagues still laid unconscious beside him and now he realized he couldn't move the rest of his arm. "How?" It was the only question on his mind.

"I was born this way," she stated simply. "It's a mutation."

"Mutation…" Howard repeated. The searing where her psychic hold on his arm had started to extinguish leaving burning embers of numbness behind. His heartbeat echoed inside his hollow body as he had felt a presence carve out space in the depths of his being. Every thought towards it brought a greater pull that increased over his body and dragged him deeper into the heaviness of exhaustion. In the faint distance, a heartbeat - both familiar and unfamiliar - echoed back through the void.

"That's the connection." She had answered his unasked question. "A psychic bond I created that settles at the core of your energy. And since energy doesn't reside in a singular place, the bond connects to your whole body. What you're feeling right now, is me draining all the energy that I want out of you."

Howard gave a singular gulp that fell and vibrated throughout the dark hollowness. "Do you know how terrifying that sounds?" he asked her solemnly.

"I imagine about as terrifying as staring down four loaded guns in a basement of a Casino."

He could almost not believe it, but a chuckle rumbled out of his throat and escaped his mouth in a quick hurry. Howard pushed past his first initial wave of shock after that. If she was trying to scare him, it definitely worked. "Fair enough, sweetheart. I think you've made your point."

"No," her voice was unhindered. "I haven't. Not yet."

Howard was terrified, sure. Scared right down to the bottom of that unknown black pit she had attached onto him. Maybe, he thought, she could feel the fear he felt but Howard chose not to let her see it. "Then would you make it quick? All this talking is making me have to pee."

"Piss on yourself then," she hissed back sharply. "If you would have just believed me earlier, none of this would have happened."

"Believed you? How in the hell was I supposed to have believed you?" He inquired hotly. "You were talking about Erskine and saying you were from the future! I thought you were just another spy with some bogus cover story! Like one of the ones Hitler keeps sending so he can grab up all the American scientists! This wouldn't have been his first attempt in trying to secure me and I wasn't going to let it be his last!"

Howard's teeth clenched together tightly and each word had slipped through his teeth fiercely. He took a deep breath in and when it fell down into to the abyss, he realized he was scared no longer. "You should really be thanking me for bringing you here. How would I have believed you if I didn't?"

A thunderous storm rippled out from the base of the chasm to the edge of the wearying hold that consumed him. The compulsion against him uprooted from his being with a great pull from the darkest part of the empty strait that connected them. Involuntarily, Howard's body tried to follow the motion but before he could lose his balance he regained his positioning by locking his legs in place. His body reemerged out of the depths of the bleak sea she had thrown onto him and his own breath seemed to return forcefully into his lungs.

Gasping for air, he almost didn't hear her speak. "You're right. Again. But I won't be thanking you until you've done what I need you to do."

Howard found himself shaking his head at her words and he sighed with a deep frustration. "I cannot make a time-machine. It is  _impossible_. One, you would have to be going two thousand times faster than the speed of light and two, even if I could figure out how to create a machine that could do it, you would need a copious amount of energy that just does not exist right now. I'm sorry, but it's just not possible."

She stood silent for a minute as she stared at him, looking solemn and defeated as he told her the last thing she wanted to hear. "I'm sorry." He reiterated forcefully. "But I can't do it."

The silence gave his ears a piercing ring as she continued to stare at him. It unsettled him, the disappointed look she kept on her face, as it struck a significant chord inside. "I'm sorry," he said once more, this time softer and more sympathetic. "Truly. But it's just impossible."

"No," she murmured quietly. "I  _know_  that there is a way. There has to be." To Howard, it almost sounded like she didn't actually believe that.

* * *

**Howard Stark's Vault**

**Stark Tower**

**December 28th 1991**

It was early morning when they came, but Octavia couldn't tell the difference. She had been asleep on her little blue bed next to her matching blue beside table when she awoke with a fierce shake that echoed through her veins.

**BANG!**

**BANG!**

**BANG!**

Each one resonated within her, shaking her from her little bed, and vibrating under her little feet as she walked towards the noise. It had come from her father's door.

**BANG!**

**BANG!**

**BANG!**

As she stopped in front of it, she quickly realized whomever was coming through that door was not her father. Fear struck through her nerves like lightening as she wondered why someone else would want to come in there. Her father, she remembered, would often tell her of the bad men in the world that could not be trusted and they would use her, if she let them, so they would take away what made her special. Octavia had no idea what that meant or how they would do that but, if it was worse than the experiments she had to endure, she did not want to find out. Before that night, it had brought her a calm relief knowing that the bad guys were out there and she was in there.

A whirling noise came from behind the heavy metal door that made the walls around Octavia shake violently. She could only imagine what they would do once they had gotten through. Many bad guys she knew of from her books were murderers. Heartless and unforgiving, committed so deeply in their evil doings that no little girl could stand in their way. The panic consumed her bones and her first instincts kicked in. To her left sat all of her father's things with many of them being small objects he often told her were too valuable to be played with, but the majority of his space was filled with large crate boxes and a range of machines scattered together.

She slipped past the first few large boxes in front of her and divulged deeper into the clutter. Some of the wooden boxes were easy to pry open despite the long screws embedded deep in the sides but when she peeked in she saw no room for her little body to hide. Even through all of her father's experiments, Octavia still never knew the extent of what her powers could do. It was why she had chosen to hide instead of fight since Howard had never let her use them to their full potential. So that night, when the bad men came, she pulled back a thin metal casing of a hollowed out machine and climbed through the opening.

It took ten minutes before the door gave away. Through a small slit in the machine, she could see her room fill with countless of faceless men. Every one that she saw was dressed head to toe in thick black plastic armor. They wore heavy black helmets with dark tinted shields over their faces, large thundering boots that shook the floor with every step, and some of them carried long machines Octavia did not recognize.

In the midst of the sea of black, she get see the back of a man's bare head reflecting light from beyond her father's door. She tried to glance through it, to finally see what was on the other side, but the angle was all wrong. All she could see was the edge lining with a bright white light that cascaded onto the floor around the army of thick black boots. It wasn't enough to light the whole space and most of what she could see was shadows flashing around throughout her room. With every loud crashing sound that echoed in the hollowed metal tomb she would choke on her own heartbeat. Afraid it would pump out, she covered her mouth with both of her tiny hands and she felt her cheeks wet with tears.

Octavia could not hear the voices of the faceless, just muffles of sound and bits of words to unfinished sentences. Leaning back against the cool metal stung her even through her cotton yellow nightgown. As she brought her knees up she swung her arms around them and buried her face into her lap to make the noises stop - to make the burning stop. She couldn't see what they were doing but she felt everything. The storming steps against the bottom of her feet, the toss of her pantry onto her stomach instead of the floor, and the raging fieriness that sweltered her little blue bed and her purple mermaid. Felt the joy of the faceless as they destroyed all she knew battling against her own drowning sorrow.

She thought of only her father, wanting him to be there to tell her all would be well. If this was a game, she did not like it. The last one hurt more than all of the others before it, but she would do all of them again rather than this. Her sides throbbed from being shaken around and there was an ache in her throat she couldn't swallow. Soon, the muffled voices dissolved into silence as she laid still with her knees clenched to her chest. Maybe, in a few seconds, her father would open the tin box and tell her it was all just another test. _One. Two. Three. Four._

A deep rumble came to life underneath her, sputtering in her chest before giving a slight jerk that slid her back. Her heart sank down to the bottom of her stomach as she realized she was being taken away. She clenched her arms tighter around her knees and thought of her father once more. It did nothing to quiet the noises outside.

The rumbling was deep and angry like what she imagined a hungry monster would sound like. She remained still as to not draw its attention. When the roars lowered to purrs it was the two bangs she heard next that shook her metal cage. Her body rocked from it until she heard a close clanking noise. It shook her cage once more but she pressed herself down to keep herself still. A sharp yank pushed her down to her feet and she choked on a gasp.

Pressing her hand over her mouth again she told herself to remain quiet until the harsh noises stopped. Against the bottom of her feet the metal felt cold no longer and despite the feeling of weightlessness over her body she heard a loud grunt from the ones carrying her. Her body shook forcibly as they finally set her down. The footsteps faded off and she waited for the rest to follow.

The noises never did stop and in the darkest of nights she could still hear the low rumble of the monster she laid upon. She could still feel the levity of being carried in that damned metal coffin, and the most repulsive stench of waste and sickly freshwater she has never been able to wash off. When she forces her eyes open on those dark, dark nights she pictures the same thing she saw as she climbed her little body atop the piles of discarded junk and filth to see the sun rising above the city's skyline.


	5. Look What They've Done to My Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wish i could find a book to live in
> 
> wish i could find a good book
> 
> cause then i'd never have to come out and look,
> 
> look what they've done to my song

**NEW YORK, NEW YORK**

**1 9 4 3**

The William K. Vanderbilt Mansion had been built on the corner of 57th Street and 5th Avenue, notoriously known as Millionaire Row, in 1883 after his wife, Ava Vanderbilt, commissioned it from Richard Morris in a Gothic French-Renaissance style. It had been affectionately referred to as the Petit Chateau and was built in part of Ava's unyielding attempts to break into high society at a time when new money was still frowned upon. Howard Stark had purchased the Vanderbilt Mansion in 1940 after the death of her son, with every intention of following in Ava's footsteps. Although, as a kid from Richford, whose father sold fruit and a mother who sewed shirts, he wanted to do more than make his mark on high society. The world had to know who Howard Stark was.

Octavia heard all of this and then some on their way to Howard's home in the city of New York. It was less than a thirty minute train ride from where she had started from. Despite all that had happened in the last 24 hours, she felt her only true accomplishment had been making a giant circle around the city. True, she had convinced Howard of her desperate need in returning home to her own time but he had told her that it was all but possible. He had kept saying there was not enough power, not enough science to achieve what she desired. It had brought an overwhelming despair she had not experienced in a long time. It also didn't help that Howard had not stopped talking since they're departure of the basement.

The four men they had left behind were some of the members from the Strategic Scientific Reserve - Howard had told her such later. To convince him to leave them behind she hold him they would be fine once they had woken up in the morning, a word she had used loosely. The amount of energy she had collected from them was a substantial sum she could draw from for weeks if she needed to. Octavia feared she would run out of it before she would get home. No matter what Howard had tried to declare, she would return to her time.

She tried to think of more possibilities, other ways she could try, but it was impossible with Howard talking her ear off from the moment they left the basement to when they arrived at his estate. It started with questions all through the elevator, the lobby, and half of the helicopter ride back to Manhattan. Most of them she wouldn't answer, but Howard had asked her them all the same.

"What's your real name?" He started with.

"I can't tell you that."

"Well, I'm not calling you by that poor name choice you gave me. Of course, if you prefer, I can keep on calling you sweetheart."

She did not, actually. Affectionate names often made her uncomfortable and, for the life of her, she could not think of a reason why she couldn't at least tell him her first name. Except, for one. If she had told him her name it would stable in the fact that she was in the past. A footprint off the path that could create an unknown reaction of events. Her main problem, however, was that Howard knew when she was lying. Most of the truth had to be shared if she held any hope of holding his hospitality. "Octavia," she told him finally.

"When were you born?"

"1982."

"But if you're from 2025 that would make you almost 45!"

"You're point?"

"Well you look no older than me!" He had exclaimed.

Including her heavy weight of defeat or the ever pressing urge to carry on, a new rush of annoyance came over her which such force that caused her to roll her eyes. "So?"

"Was it the serum that did that? You know, Erskine had a theory that the serum would slow the aging process. He said it would regrow the dying cells the body had lost, making them stronger. Is that what it did to you?"

Octavia didn't answer that. She remained silent in hope that he would understand that she wasn't going to. He did not.

"We should really go back to how you said it only worked the one time. Did you mean that? What happened? Did we only test the serum that one time or is it the only time that it works? Other than yourself, that is. And you said that it was forty years after this, so why did it take so long? It didn't even take Erskine that long to make it."

"I can only tell you what you already know, Mr. Stark."

"Howard, please," he encouraged. "My real question is, how did you get sent back in time and not have a way to go back?"

"It was an accident."

"An accidental trip to the past, huh? How does that work out?"

"Accidentally." She had said dully but when saw the pressing look on his face, she decided half-truths would have to work. "My brother built a time machine, and when I dispelled my energy it turned it on. It pulled me into a void and I woke up here."

"Wow…" Howard said in amazement. "So you're brother just…built a time machine, huh? How long did that take him?"

"I don't know…" She admitted softly. It was not very long since they had returned from Asgard, and on their return Tony had locked himself into his lab to share with no one what he was doing. He could have started building that damn thing before they even left and she wouldn't have known. Tony had never exactly been forthcoming with Octavia in creating his toys, or whatever he wanted to call them. Inventing things was very personal for Tony, she knew, and the sudden rush of guilt swept over her as she realized this was more her fault than anyone's.

"So why did you turn it on?" Howard asked, bringing her own thoughts to life.

Octavia let out a small scoff, shaking her head at it. "I didn't mean to…" She clarified. "He was being stubborn. I was being stubborn. It must be genetic." She finished dully.

"Probably had yourselves some pretty strict parents, huh?" He chuckled out in a joking manner but Octavia found no humor in it. The questions ended soon after that.

Howard didn't need questions to keep talking and he did such as they settled into another black town's car, starting with the history of the house he had bought just a year after launching Stark Industries. He spoke on how buying that house was one of his first big purchases he had made after coming in to his money. He even bought another one in Los Angeles since, "That was where all the actresses went for their movie premieres."

Had she not have been distracted by her own swell of emotions, she might have been able to sense the exuberance in Howard's speech. However, the more he spoke of his extravagant things and the beautiful places he had gone, the easier it became for her to forget the man in which he would become. It left an unsettling sinking in her stomach that sucked in her failure, her hope, her anger and guilt. What grew from the dark soil wilted before its bloom and it made her long for home.

* * *

"Ah! Mr. Stark!" The familiar English voice sent a sharp chill down Octavia's spine as Howard and her were greeted upon their arrival into Stark's mansion. "You're home early. I had not been expecting you to return for a few more hours."

"Change of plans, Jarvis." Howard had stated smoothly as they stood in the grand open foyer. It was easily three stories high with a deeply detailed carved white ceiling and thin red borders running up the wall against an elaborate white and gold paneling. A deep cherry wood staircase withstood before them that look to have gone up and around the foyer. "We'll be having a house guest. Make up a guest room for her, will you?"

"W-why yes!" He stammered in excitement. "Yes of course!" Jarvis rounded on Octavia and took her all in with a gleeful gaze. "Quite a pleasant surprise, actually. Normally, the preferred accommodations for the female guests are located in Mr. Stark's main bedroom."

Octavia had chosen to dismiss the comment, not wanting to imagine much more than that, instead she concentrated on the voice of the man before her. Tony had gotten his infliction down to a tee and hearing it once more brought tears of joy to kiss her waterline. A promenade of warmth cleared dark skies as Edwin Jarvis beamed at her. "A pleasure madam," Edwin held his hand out for her to take with a slight bow in his stature.

"Trust me, it's all mine." She breathed out as she gripped his hand gently.

Edwin Jarvis had died years before Octavia had met Tony. The few times Tony would speak of him Octavia would get a sense of the love he had for his caregiver, how much he had missed him. At the time it had made her mournful over the life she had never gotten to know. Now, as she held his hand for the first time, she couldn't remember the grief of missing someone.

"And how long will the Madam be staying with us?" Jarvis asked cheerfully as they dropped their hands from one another. When he stood back to his full height she could see he was a good foot over Howard. Octavia had to crane her head back a little to get a better look at his face.

"Indefinitely," Howard exulted with a grin that stretched across his face.

" _Indefinitely?_ " Jarvis repeated dumbfounded.

Howard gave a quick nod of his head. "Oh yes. Indefinitely. Our guest has found herself in quite the predicament. Good news is; she's intelligent enough to have come to the only person that can help her."

"I take it that's you, sir?"

"Mr. Stark…" Octavia tried to interject but he waved his hand at her. "Indeed it is, Mr. Jarvis." Howard continued. "You see, Miss Octavia, here, is not from New York. Not yet."

"Mr. Stark." She said more pointedly.

"Howard, please."

"I'm afraid I do not follow." Jarvis mustered lightly.

"Miss Octavia is from the future, Jarvis. She's asked for my help in returning her to her own time."

"Mr. Stark!" Octavia exclaimed.

"Howard!"

Octavia's face turned red in rage as she glared Howard down. "You should not have told him that,  _Howard_." She seethed.

"Please," Howard waved her displeasure away. "Jarvis would never tell anyone anything. He's loyal. Completely trustworthy."

"Quite right." Jarvis announced confidently, straightening his back thusly with a pull of his coat tails. "Of course, I will have to tell Ana." He blurted promptly.

Octavia snapped her head in his direction. "Who the hell is Ana?"

"She's my wife." He stated simply.

"You had a wife?" Octavia marveled at him. She never knew that.

" _Had?_ " Jarvis was a bit taken back at her reaction and he glanced back to Howard. "Mr. Stark, I hate to ask, but where ever did you find this one?" He whispered, not quietly enough.

"Believe it or not, Jarvis, she found me. And she sure as hell convinced me of something." The gleam had faded out of Howard's eyes and left them in a somber study that turned Octavia's attention back to him.

"And what have I convinced you of, exactly?" Her voice cutting into their conversation.

"That I need you to keep you close by." To her own surprise, Howard's tone had matched her abrasive one. "I don't know how much of your story I believe, Miss Octavia, but I do know normal people aren't safe around you. You say you've had the serum and from what I saw, I say it's a great possibility. But this is a time of war, ma'am. I cannot rule anything out and for now, you're my  _guest_. I suggest you do not take advantage of that."

Howard's words took the air right out of her lungs and she stood gaping for breath. When he finished, her jaw tightened before she spoke. "What makes you think you can hold me?" She said through her clenched teeth.

It was more or less an empty threat, but neither Howard nor Jarvis knew what she was truly capable of.

"Would you really threaten the life of this innocent man and his wife?" Howard motioned to Jarvis beside him. "Because you'll have to hurt them to get out of here and you've already proven to me you're not the violent type either." He quipped at her.

"How do you know that at I'm not?"

"Because you would have done something violent by now. That definitely tells me a few things about you."

"And what do you think it says about you? Wagering the lives of these people?"

"I'm sure a fair deal of things but the truth is, I'm not the real danger here, am I? I knew it the moment those men fell around me and you stood unfazed with blue freaking fire coming out of your hands!" He shouted but, with a deep breath, his voice evened out with the next words he spoke. "You'll stay because I don't trust you when you say they'll wake up tomorrow. Unless you plan on hurting everyone in your path to get out, you'll stay right here."

There was a bearing of tension left between the two until Howard spoke again. "Besides, if you speak the truth, then you don't really have anywhere else to go do you?" His smiled picked up slightly under his mustache before nodding to his butler. "Jarvis will show you to your room." He concluded their conversation with a slight authority in his voice.

Jarvis took that as his cue and stepped forward, quick to place his palm on Octavia's back. "Come along now, madam." He ushered her towards the staircase with a gentle push of his hand.

She pulled herself from his touch as they got closer to the grand staircase. Octavia turned around in hopes to say just one last thing, something so he could feel the same disappointing hurt she felt. As she stared at him with her strained brow, she realized she could think of nothing. Howard was right.  _Again_. There was no where else for her to go. He may not have trusted her but at least she was in the house.

With a quick turn back to the staircase, she lead a quick pace with Jarvis taking long strides to keep up as they rose the steps. It wasn't until halfway down the hallway on the third floor did Howard's presence shake off of her. Tony was always the most frustrating person she had ever met, but this young Howard definitely sent Octavia over the edge. Her hands were shaking as she walked down the wall-to-wall brown carpeted narrow hallway. The deep purple and white stripped wallpaper swirled around her and forced her to step back, clenching her eyes shut.

Keeping her emotions in check was paramount in securing control over her powers. Too much at once, for instance, could break the hold that she had and create an unknown level of destruction. She had spent years learning how to keep it under control and she'd be damned if it snapped now. With an intake of a deep breath she clenched her shaking hands into fists. The cool metal of the band stung against her fingers and she thought of only Steve. No matter what it took; she would return to him.

"Madam?" Jarvis' voice cut through her thoughts. "Your room will be a bit further down."

Octavia released the breath she held at the bottom of her lungs slowly before giving a slight nod and moving forward once more. This time, she followed a few steps behind Jarvis until they came upon the white-painted wooden door that concealed the room behind it. He opened it with a twist and push of the knob. Walls that lined the inside of the room were also a white paneling with hand carved borderlines squaring beside one another and an ornate crown molding. The furniture inside was only slightly uncommon for a bedroom with two dressers and three wicker chairs, one of which that rocked. The bed was a queen-sized upholstered cherry oak centered in the room facing two windows covered by curtains perpendicular from another. As Octavia walked more into the grand bedroom, she saw a study desk that sat on the other side of the huge bed just between it and the window. She pulled open a drawer to see it lay empty and thought as much of the others.

"I do hope you find everything to your level of comfort. It's all imported, you see. Some of this wood is refined and shipped all the way from Wakanda. Mr. Stark find quiet a likening there." Jarvis gushed over the boudoir.

"I don't care about him!" Octavia snapped harshly without thought. "Or his refined woods or whatever else he buys with his goddamn fortune!" Tears stung her eyes then and a hard lump struggled to swallow in her throat. She took in a shaky breath to only be able to choke it down. "I just want to go home." The confession weighed heavy on her lips.

The room was silent for a moment after her outburst. She didn't look at Jarvis in the doorway but she felt his eyes boring into her from across the room. It didn't take long for his stare to have become a bother. "Is there something you want to say?" Instead of being initially blasé towards him, she knew she should have been thankful for his kindness. But being thankful for anything right now seemed a challenge.

It would have amazed her more had he not said anything but his intent on speaking was clear enough. Although, it's what he said that took her for a bit of a spin. "Breakfast is served at 7:00 am sharp. Tea is at ten. Neither will wait for your arrival." He took a bow of his head. "Good night, Madam."

A quick turn of heel and pull of the door behind him was the most of his exit. The air wept out with all of her company and once again, Octavia was alone.

Further down the hallway was when Jarvis heard a great boom and felt the floor shake beneath him. It had almost drowned out the sound of her billowing wail.

* * *

**BROOKLYN HEIGHTS**

**1 9 9 1**

Most people pushed past the little girl in her dingy yellow nightgown and her blacken soles as they continued on determinedly to their destinations. A few would stop walking all together to get a better look at the sight before them but Octavia kept her feet moving, never seeing their faces. Instead, she looked to the massively dull colored buildings that surrounded her. Her neck leaned back all the way for her to see the top of the sky letting only her feet guide her path. It did not trouble her that they scrapped against the roughened pavement or that all she heard was mixed conversations and blaring horns from the passing automobiles. Fresh air had a bit of a stench to it but even still her contentment remained. A fizzling throughout her veins excited her and the faster she walked the more it trembled to each nerve.

Nothing Octavia had ever imagined had looked, sounded, or smelled in comparison to what was around her. All the things she had in her room, her books, her little radio, not even when her father had shown her the little moving picture box had prepared her for what it really was. Loud. Busy. There was so much for her to look at that she could not fixate on one singular thing. Everything was different, new, and strange. She had no idea where she was or how far away she had traveled from her room. Octavia had never been lost before and she had no way of knowing how to get back.

When she collided into the person in front of her, her body bounced back onto the pavement and as the air returned to her lungs her next thought was spoken aloud for her by the one she had smashed into. "Watch where you're going." The robust voice commanded of her. His long arm reached down and his colossus sized hand gripped her thin forearm. It took little effort for him to lift her to her feet.

"Where do you belong, little one?" The man asked her with a bit of sympathy in his tone. She almost didn't notice it when she caught his companion staring hard down at her from behind him. They both wore black and white suits similar to ones she had seen her father wore. Perhaps there was a chance they knew him.

"In my room." She answered sheepishly at the man gripping her arm.

He chuckled lightly which opened his mouth wide enough for her to see his straight white teeth. "More than likely, yes, you do, little one. Do you know where your room is?"

Octavia shook her head lightly, her long dark hair brushing against the middle of her back.

"Look at her, Wendell." The man's companion scoffed. "She's just another street kid, let her go on."

"Have a heart, Harold." Wendell turned back to his friend over his shoulder. "She's someone's daughter."

"Not my daughter."

"A fact that you should be grateful for. Imagine if this was Joy."

"My daughter knows better than to walk around New York without any shoes on."

"Enough from you, Harold." Wendell turned around to face Octavia, looking her up and down in her distressive attire. "Would you like us to help you find your mother?"

Octavia furrowed her brow tightly at the question. "I don't have a mother."

"Well, where's your father then?"

"I don't know."

"Do you know his name?"

"Howard."

"Do you know his last name?"

She shook her head once more. As the wind picked up around them, she realized the smell might have been coming from her.

"Probably some cracked out homeless guy." Harold goaded above them. "Just let her go, Wendell."

" _Excuse me!_ "

The shrill voice bellowed over all the loud passing cars and interrupted everyone in her path towards Octavia and the two men. A older woman stormed over before jabbing her pointed fingers into Wendell's shoulder crevasse and pushed his hold loose of the little girl. "Why does this little girl's feet wear no shoes?" Her accent was foreign to Octavia and her sentences strung together by next best words.

"That's just what we're trying to figure out, ma'am!" Wendell exclaimed in surprise as to why she was yelling at him.

"Are you her father?!" The woman pointed a thin finger in his face.

"No."

"Are you?!" She pointed the same finger at Harold.

"Neither one of us is this girl's father," Harold spat out. "She ran into us, okay?"

"She not go with you! You are not her father! You are not her father, so she not go!" The woman swatted the men away with both of her hands before she took Octavia's wrist. "I will find her parents! You men go!"

"Hey, listen lady, we were only trying to help!" Harold shouted out her in their defense. "You wanna take the brat, go ahead!" He gave a pull of Wendell's arm. "Let's go, Wendell."

Together the two men stepped back from the older lady and the little girl but Wendell did not take his worried eyes off of Octavia. "Remember what I said, little one, watch where you go." He tipped his head lightly before Harold gave him a sharp tug and spun him back around.

The woman waited until they disappeared into the crowd before turning and softening her expression on Octavia. "Come on darling," her infliction lowering lightly. "Are you hungry?"

Although she had nodded, Octavia wasn't assured in her gesture. Her body still needed food but Octavia did not crave it as most did. Instead of an appetite, she often would find the desire filled from her stored energy. It would overwhelm the urge and replace it with what she needed, often adrenaline or a sense of serenity. Father had told her it was a defense mechanism that she could never trust and to keep to a normal eating schedule despite it.

The older woman gave a gentle tug of Octavia's arm and lead her out of the active sidewalk. She had pulled her into and up the stairs of one of the lightly brick colored buildings that stood beside them. While they climbed the staircase, the woman complained of the two men to Octavia. "No good, that is what they do. No good at all. Men should not grab little girls. No good man does this." As they finished climbing the steps and Octavia quickly followed behind her down the row of numbered doors, the woman continued to speak. "When I saw him grab you, I knew it was not right! Scared little girl with no shoes should not trust men like that, you will learn."

They stopped in front of a dark painted door with the number 18 in gold blocks centered above a little black hole. The woman pushed open the door and dragged the little girl into her small apartment before closing it behind them. Octavia could see everything the woman owned sitting within only a few hundred feet of itself. Her quilted bed sat behind the pink flowery upholstered couch that faced a small bookshelf with a blacked out frame in the middle of it. On the other side of the couch was the tiny kitchen that had space for only one counter, a stove, and a fridge no taller than the older woman. The cabinets had no doors and instead bared all it contained to the rest of the room. The one window in the whole space stood in the kitchen wall just behind a cluttered two-seated dining table.

"Sit." The lady motioned to the table and gave Octavia a gentle push in the direction. "Sit, I will find you shoes."

Octavia stepped around the pink couch and between the woman's bed as she made her way towards the light wood-colored chair. As she slipped in it and listened to the woman rummage through her own things, Octavia tried to look at everything she could see around her. The table had a bowl of oranges set in the center with newspapers nestled underneath it. Pennies and round colored beans scattered over the glazed wood. Black and white pictures in heavy frames hung above her head on the dim white wall. Big metal bowls with black handles sat on the stove next to the counter that held a giant red and white book that had some kind of listing on it. Before she could lean out of her chair to get a better look at it, the woman had walked back over holding a pair of black sandals in her hands.

"Here we go, dear," she placed them on the floor for Octavia. "They not help against the cold much but at least your little feet won't be on the ground." The woman put her hand on Octavia's slender arm, giving it a sympathetic pat. "What's your name, dear?"

"Octavia," she mumbled as she gripped the edge of her chair and leaned down to slide her feet into the shoes.

"That's a pretty name, dear. Do you know where you come from?"

"My room."

"How did you come from your room?"

Octavia pressed down on her bottom lip and tried to think of how to explain what happened to her. It suddenly seemed difficult to explain to this woman how countless of faceless men broke in and she was unknowingly thrown out like trash. "I don't know…" She lied at once. The faceless men and the men in suits could not be trusted, but what made this woman so trustworthy?

"Hm," the woman said in thought as she looked down at her. With a perk, she turned to her cabinets and began pulling things down. "Böses mit Gutem vergelten," she looked over her shoulder at Octavia. "Let's get you some food. Do you like cereal?"

Octavia nodded.

"I thought as much." She had said before pulling open her fridge door to retrieve the glass bottle of milk inside. "Most people call me Ms. Kapplebaum, and you will do the same. Understand?" the woman asked as she walked over to Octavia with a bowl and spoon in hand. Octavia nodded again. "Speak girl." Ms. Kapplebaum commanded.

"Yes'm." Octavia muttered as the woman placed the bowl in front of her.

"An den Früchten erkennt man den Baum. Who taught you manners?"

Instead of answering, Octavia took a spoonful of the frosted cornflakes and shoved them into her mouth hurriedly. She chewed loud in open it would drown out any other questions Ms. Kapplebaum had had for her. The older woman just looked down at Octavia incredulously before standing straight up. "Stay here, child." She ordered before walking off.

Octavia concentrated on her bowl, chewing, and shoveling the cereal with her spoon. Behind her, Ms. Kapplebaum had created a buzzing noise that silenced before a man's voice carried throughout the room. She turned her head to see Ms. Kapplebaum standing in front of her bookshelf with a thick remote in her hand. The blacked out frame was no more and instead held the moving picture of a man in a blue suit siting behind a desk in front of a blue and green splotch similar to the black and white ones her father would show her.

When Ms. Kapplebaum looked back at her, Octavia turned around quickly and focused on her meal once more. She heard only the voice of the man echoing throughout the room and the creaking of the floor as the older woman moved about. Octavia heard a muster of unfamiliar sounds and then Ms. Kapplebaum's voice overlapped the man's in the box.

" _Tonight, on Channel 8…_ "

"Hello? Yes. I'd like to talk to someone please…"

" _...Stark Industries faces an incredible dip in stock after new CEO Obadiah Stane takes charge…_ "

"Missing person...No, I would like to inform on their location…"

" _..with investors encouraging Stane to step down…_ "

"A little girl, long brown hair, walking the streets with no shoes!"

" _… take control of his father's company…_ "

"Off Leaman Place, yes."

" _…after the sudden death of Howard Stark, Stark Industries struggles to maintain order amongst itself…_ "

The picture box stole Octavia's attention away from Ms. Kapplebaum's one sided conversation. Only once had she seen her father's full name when he wore it on a badge after coming to visit her. She had asked him what the word was that was right after his name and he taught her how to say it, saying that one day she would wear the same name too. It was a hope she had all but forgotten as she slid out of chair, the spoon still gripped in her hand, and walked to stand in front of the man inside the black frame. In the corner, beside his head, was a picture of her father with same words he wore on that day captioned underneath him.  _Howard Stark. 1917-1991._

Her lungs spasmed as the picture changed to a scene below the sky of a parade of black cars trailing behind a longer one through the painted streets of a city she had never seen. Beneath it ran a ribbon of words that moved too fast for Octavia to read but she was able to catch a few as they passed by.

_Accident took the lives of both Stark and his wife, Maria. Paramedics found bodies in the wreckage to have died on impact._

The last thing she remembered hearing before she ran out through the door was Ms. Kapplebaum screaming after her. The bottom of her sandals slammed down over and over onto the ground as Octavia's little legs picked them up in hurry down the stairs. She pushed open the door to the street and picked up her speed down the sidewalk. Buildings and people blurred around her as she navigated around them. Tears burned her eyes, the wind piercing her as she ran against it. But that wasn't what made her cry.

Her father was gone. Her room was destroyed. She belonged to no one and no where. With a push through the wind, Octavia's speed gained as she flew past this new unknown world. The sandals Ms. Kapplebaum had given her slipped off her feet but it did not break her stride. An intense thrill seized over her that almost swallowed the melancholic ache that filled her first run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [so there's a bit of simile throughout this chapter that should connect these two experiences together. there's a great contrast and parallel of actions that i either put a lot of thought into or just happened to turn out that way (which is by far better) so it's something i hope is noticed]
> 
> [something i am trying to do is really flesh out octavia's powers without blatantly stating what they are. a sense of energy goes hand-in-hand with emotions so my goal in this chapter was to paint her empathy ability in a subtle way]


	6. Trapped in Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don't want to set the world on fire
> 
> i just want to start
> 
> a flame in your heart

 

**.**

Morning had started for Edwin the same as it had every day. He would kiss his wife's shoulder before he slipped out of bed and tugged his toes into his slippers. The sun had not risen quite yet but Edwin planned to enjoy it after he had retrieved the paper and started a cup of coffee. First, he got dressed for the day. His typical attire, a brow tweed check suit with dark shoes and tie, would suffice once more. Combing his hair back, he thought of making a fruit salad with a cheese and chive omelet for breakfast. Mr. Stark had just had crates of apples, oranges, mangoes, kiwis, and pears shipped in, so Edwin planned on making good use of the variety of fruit. More often than not they'd be eating fruit for days, but against the settling thought his steps did not luster in bounce. A beautiful morning was a beautiful morning, despite the evening before it. The reflection on Mr. Stark's words had, however, deflated his tread over the grand home.

Once the Madam was settled in her room, _seemingly,_  Edwin had went to find Mr. Stark pouring himself a drink from the closest bottle he could find in the sitting room. Edwin had noticed the long night wearing on his employer and couldn't help keep his curiosity down. "Sir," Edwin had announced himself as to not startle Mr. Stark. "Your guest is in her room. Shall I implement security protocol seven during her stay?"

"Level 10." Mr. Stark swallowed the dark contents of his crystal glass before setting it down to refill.

"L-level 10, sir?" Edwin stammered in astonishment. "Pardon the reluctance, sir, but had you not informed me Level 10 was never to be deployed unless-"

"I'm aware what Level 10 is for, Jarvis." Mr. Stark willfully interrupted. "I designed it, didn't I?"

"Yes, sir." Edwin muttered timidly but he had not wanted to give up the matter. "But might I ask why you have chosen to place such protocols for a singular woman?"

Mr. Stark shook his head, waving a finger that held his glass disapprovingly at Edwin as his tone rang wrathful . "That is not a singular woman, Jarvis. You did not see what I saw."

"What exactly did you see, sir?"

With a toss of his head back, Mr. Stark finished his second glass before slamming it on the table's top next to the bottle of brandy he had been pouring from. He let out a slow breath before turning to look back at Edwin. "I don't know." He admitted flatly. "She was surrounded. Phillips, Arnold, Flynn, and Dooley all had their firearms pointed right at her. She didn't flinch. She didn't cry. Played with her fingers in her lap as they all argued around between themselves. Then she spoke…" Mr. Stark poured himself another drink. "She did not beg for her life or threaten ours. She told the truth and then. . . They all fell like bricks against concrete and she rose above them. . .with her hands burning from the hottest fire and  _still_  she did not balk!" Mr. Stark rounded around to stare at him in disbelief. "She never moved while their guns raised in the air and turned on  _me!_  My life flashed before my eyes, Jarvis and I saw this. . . this  _god_  be the end of it. Then just with a change of her mind," Mr. Stark snapped his finger. "She ripped the guns a part across the room and said this thing about 'guns and knife fights' but it was after. . . after she had told me she could suck the life right out of me if she wanted to, that I knew. . . she's more dangerous than anything ever created or thought of, Jarvis."

Edwin's brow had furrowed together in a straining way as he tried to picture what Mr. Stark had been talking about. It all seemed a bit fantasy for his likening but Edwin had never seen his employer so rattled before. Then, he thought of the loud crashing noise he had left behind on the third floor. "She's just a girl, sir." Edwin fretted in more to convince himself than his employer. "How could she do such things?"

Another toss back of his head and the dark liquid disappeared once more. "A mutation, she called it." Mr. Stark chided as he ran his tongue over his teeth to savor the lingering taste. "An abomination seems more accurate."

"Sir…"

Mr. Stark waved his empty glass at him. "Make sure she never leaves the house, Jarvis. Give her all she needs but do not let her contact anyone on the outside. If she is a spy I can't run that risk."

"An excellent notion, sir. Considering how great the chances are that she  _is_  an enemy operative sent to capture you once again. If that were the case, is it wise to let her idle here?"

"Probably not," Mr. Stark concluded as he poured himself one more glass. "But whether or not she is or isn't is no longer relevant. I can only trust what I know, Jarvis. I know she belongs here."

Shortly after their conversation, Edwin did as Mr. Stark wished and activated one of the highest levels of security created. Most of the details were beyond extravagancy for Edwin to remember them all as he found the switchboard hidden beyond the cellar. After entering the access codes and hearing all of the mechanisms clicking into place, an accord of reasoning formed his mind and sleep came easy once again.

The next morning started off as no other and he had almost forgotten the evenings events. It was when his wife, Ana, had joined him in the kitchen while he prepared their breakfast that he remembered there would be one more intended to join them. Edwin kissed his wife in greeting and smiled as she stole a slice of kiwi from his cutting board. "Do you think Howard will join us for breakfast, dear?" Ana had asked him in her lovely voice while she looked over the extra ingredients.

"No, I don't think so, darling," he replied. "Mr. Stark left almost as soon as he had arrived, I'm afraid. All of this is for our guest."

"They're eating breakfast with us now?" She laughed softly.

"It's not one of those guests, darling."

"Oh? What kind of guest is it?"

"A very special one, my dear. Mr. Stark has initiated Security Level 10 while she is to remain here."

"Ten?" Ana's eyes widened and she leaned back to get a full view of her husband. "Eddie, are we safe with her in the house?"

"Now, now, darling," Edwin took her hands to his and gave them a gentle squeeze. "Mr. Stark has assured me that this woman intends to do us no harm. Quite the opposite as it were. It seems the Madam is in dire need of aid and is seeking refuge."

"Then what is the security for, my love?"

"Mr. Stark feels it would be best."

"And yet he is not here?"

"He will return, Ana."

"When?"

"Soon."

"And we must entertain his hostile houseguest?"

"Darling, please…"

Ana had pulled her hands from his hands and started to prepare a cup of coffee for herself. "It's just like that man." She complained as she stirred her spoon in the hot liquid to help dissolve the sugar. "A big ol' bulldozer is what he is."

"Darling…"

"Don't 'darling' me, Eddie." Ana said in her thick Irish accent. "You know it as well as I do."

"We owe everything to him. You know that."

"Aye, but it is not right for him to have just left her here with us."

"I agree." The articulate voice commanded the attention of the room and for the moment, Edwin thought Mr. Stark had returned. In blinks of befuddlement, Edwin watched Miss Octavia enter the kitchen still dressed in her clothes from the previous night. As she looked between the two of them, Edwin put his hand over his wife's waist out of instinct and pulled her closer. Her eyes fixated on the gesture and he tensed beside Ana.

Octavia picked up her gaze to their anxious expressions. She astounded him once more by giving a soft smile. "Don't worry. I have no intentions on doing harm to you or your wife." She took a step farther into the kitchen. "You said breakfast was at seven?"

He looked to his watch quickly to confirm the time. "It is almost ten 'til."

She nodded lightly and Edwin got the impression she already knew that.

"I can help set up." Octavia suggested but before Edwin could deny her offer, Ana had perked up out of his grasp and stepped over to the cabinets. He watched his wife pull out plates, cups, and silverware.

"Good." Ana set the dishware down on the island counter between them before brushing her hand through the air towards the kitchen table. "There is fine."

After a turn of her head in the direction, Edwin watched as Octavia picked up the plates with her hands and carried them to the table. An impressive glance exchanged between him and his wife before they continued to finish making their breakfast. The only noise was the clanking of the dishes as Octavia set them up on the table. The Jarvis' saw her place the forks and knives together with a similar grimace.

Ana stepped round the island towards the table and picked the knives up from their placement before settling them down on the other side of the plate. Miss Octavia picked up her head and glanced back to the fair skinned woman. Ana smiled lightly at her. "Forks on the right. Knives on the left." She instructed delicately. "Cups should be two inches above the knives."

With a slide of her hand, Octavia pushed the glasses across the top of the table setting until they rested just above the silver knives. Ana gave a nod of approval. "Not bad." She commented as she looked it over. "It is it your first time?"

"No, I've had breakfast lots of times."

The room was quiet as the Jarvis' looked at Octavia while they registered what she had said. Before Edwin knew what to think of it, Ana let out a wonderful laugh as she held her sides. Edwin's own smile began to grow across his face and he let a chuckle escape his lips to match his wife. Together, they finished placing serving bowls and plates on the table along with pots of hot coffee, cream, bowls of sugar, and a plate of spoons. At 7:01, Edwin, Ana, and their new guest, Octavia, seated themselves down at the kitchen table to enjoy their breakfast.

When the laughter had died away, there was a painful silence hovering over the three of them as they plated their food or filled their mugs with coffee and sugar. Silver scrapped against painted ceramic plates. Slurps cut through the air before dissolving into stillness. Occasionally, Edwin would glance up to his wife and followed her movements as she cut into her egg before changing his gaze to the newcomer between them. The peach dress she wore was wrinkled and her strangely dark-faded-to-light hair hung flat against her cheeks before she brushed it back behind her ears.

"Perhaps," Edwin broke the silence with a sudden idea. "Ana has an extra dress you could borrow?" He suggested to his wife with a raise of his brow.

Ana caught his look with a quick nod of her head, looking back to their guest. Octavia finished taking a sip of her coffee before setting the mug down and giving a small nod in return. "I could even do your hair for you, if you like." Ana offered as well.

Octavia gave a sheepish smile but did not seem to enjoy the thought. "Thanks, but it doesn't seem like I'm going anywhere anyways." She glanced over towards Edwin. "Let me guess, finger print scanners on the knobs?"

Edwin sat up straight and his ears turned red. "How-?"

"I tried the front door." She said and nodded over her shoulder to the kitchen doorway. "Didn't bother with the back door but I did notice the heat sensors in the floor. Does it track the movemet?"

"Those are under the floor boards. How did you see them?"

"I didn't pull them up."

"How did you know they were there?" Edwin's voice grew more firm.

"I sensed them."

"How?"

Octavia grew quiet for a moment before speaking again. "Did Howard tell you what happened last night?"

"Yes."

"What did he say?"

"That you were horrifying with godlike powers. He called you an abomination."

"Did he?"

"He did."

"Hm." She muttered before glancing back at Ana and then back at Edwin. "Have you ever been to a concentration camp before, Mr. Jarvis?"

Edwin looked to his wife quickly, fear rising in his stomach at Octavia's question. "No." He said quickly. "Neither of us have."

Octavia nodded. "Me nether. Except once. Years after it had closed, of course. My fiancé insisted." She twisted her ring with her thumb. "Said he wanted to show me one of the places he had rescued. When he got there…people were frozen in the banks along the fences. Skeletons were wearing stripped pajamas as they begged for food. For water. For warmth. He told me he had never seen a graveyard so full of life before. The horror just continued when he went into the building. Officers had shot themselves and tried to burn files in the fireplace. One officer had a room all his own off from his office. A lab, of sorts. He was experimenting on the children. Children with powers. This one boy was so scared he had thrown my fiancé clear across the room. Took most of his group to subdue him." Her eyes had lost the light in them as she spoke. "They never found the officer. The sad thing is that they thought that boy was an abomination before the experiments."

She sighed softly then before pulling her hands up and cupping her coffee mug. "Millions of people are dying right now and I'm stuck here having breakfast with the Robinsons." Octavia shook her head in disbelief.

"What could you even do?" Howard had walked in at some point while they were engrossed with Octavia's speech. He hovered behind her but his sudden appearance did not startle her as it did the Jarvis'. The black and white suit from the night before had been discarded and he instead wore a brown belt looped into tan pants with a light blue polo tucked into it.

Octavia turned her head to look over her shoulder at him. An engulfing amount of piousness extended between the two. "Save them."

"All of them?"

"Yes."

"Hm." Howard mimicked before walking around the table and joined them at the end. Edwin had moved to get up, planning on retrieving a plate for his employer but Mr. Stark had waved him down. "No need, Jarvis. I've eaten already." He stated and encouraged him to sit back down.

"Those men from last night are fine, by the way." Howard had said at Octavia while Edwin settled back into his seat. "In case you were worried."

"I wasn't." She threw the words at him. Edwin shared a look with his wife.

"No, I didn't think you would be. They chalked it up to a bad night for drinking and did not seem to remember you."

She gave him a half smile. "Your point?"

"My point is that you should get comfortable, Miss Octavia. You've solidified your stay. Consider yourself lucky."

With her little smile gone, Octavia placed her mug down on the table, pushing away her untouched plate of food before rising on her feet. She stared down hard at Howard, both of them forgetting entirely of the Jarvis' sitting between them. "Tell me, Mr. Stark," their guest spoke with such softness Edwin had to strain to listen. "Is your prison different in only comfort?"

Her chair scratched rough against the floor as she pushed it back before taking the steps across the kitchen towards the opened doorway. "Miss Octavia," Howard called out after her and stopped her in her path. "If you truly wanted to save all those people, why did you find me instead?"

Octavia's mouth fell open in shock at his cruel words. Edwin himself found it a bit out of line. The girl was seemingly harmless and - despite his employers beliefs - Edwin did not believe she did belong there. He had hoped the young woman was smart in leaving the conversation well enough alone but it seemed the only thing that Edwin would be certain of concerning this young woman was that she was often full of surprises.

"Because," she spoke at once, demanding the room's attention. "Where I'm from Howard Stark is a great man who did extraordinary things. Too bad all I found when I got here was you."

Silence echoed the room after her leave and no one looked to one another for a long while.

"Remarkable." Edwin chirped finally. He looked back to his wife. "I have the eeriest feeling that I've met that woman before."

"You know," Ana leaned in over the table. "I was just thinking the same thing."

They shared a laugh that mimicked itself but it died with one glance to Howard staring at them coolly from across the table. The Jarvis' both returned to their own plate of food. Each of them tried to hide the growing amusement on their faces for neither of them had ever heard someone speak to Howard Stark that way before. Silence rejoined their breakfast once again.

* * *

It wasn't long after Octavia had returned to her room that Ana knocked on the door right upon entering. She pulled in behind her a trolley resembling a bellhop's full of hung up dresses, shirts and pants with five different types of shoes nestled below. Ana wore a beaming smile as she scuffled the wheels over the carpet and let the dumbwaiter rest just feet in front of the open door.

"Ah!" Ana exclaimed as she took Octavia's wrist and pulled her closer to the rack. "There we are." She said as she stopped her just before it. "Now you can have a proper look."

"This all looks very nice." From what Octavia saw, it really had. There were six dresses in total along with two pairs of pleated pants and a vary of colored blouses. The first thing she had noticed was a forest green dress similar to the one in the shop just the day before.  _Had it really been a whole day?_  She thought as she skimmed through the rest of the materials with her fingers. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

"It's no bother." Ana replied, her smile ever pressing. "Besides, not to make you feel bad, but most of these I don't wear anymore anyways."

Octavia let out a small chuckle under her breath. "Good. I'd hate to put you out."

"I don't think that would be possible, dear." Ana reached out with her finger tips and gently brushed Octavia's hair back over her shoulder. "Fairly interesting color you've got there. Don't think I've ever seen a woman let go of her roots like that before," the woman with bright copper hair tightly pinned back on top of her head had said. "It'd be no trouble to style if for you." Ana offered again.

"Maybe later." Octavia muttered as she kept her attention on the fabrics in front of her. Being made over was always something she was able to find enjoyment in but now it seemed fruitless. Pulling her hair up to look like Ana's would not bring her home. It would suffice only in distraction and, for Octavia, there was no time for that. Picking the black pair of pants and a purple blouse, she walked back towards the bed and laid them out in preparement of changing. She had hoped Ana would leave her in peace for the next part but she lingered behind, watching Octavia carefully from her backside.

"Are you really from the future?"

The question spun Octavia's head around quick to see the stoic Irishwoman staring back at her. It wasn't really the question that had gotten her full attention, it was the way she had asked it. There was no tone of skepticism or fear. Actually, it was more of a fact than anything when she heard Ana say those words. She knew it twenty-four hours ago, when she saw young Steve, and the moment she woke up again in this grim period. But it was only when it seemed someone had believed her did it feel real. After a moment, she nodded.

Ana's smile grew ten times bigger and she bounced over towards Octavia to grip her hands tightly into hers. "How marvelous!" Ana yelled with delight. "Oh, what a right relief!"

Octavia furrowed her brow in confusion. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, when my sweet Eddie told me I was absolutely terrified! Truly! But you're just from the future and that is much better than I had expected."

"What exactly did 'Eddie' tell you?"

"A fair bit, I believe. He had made it seem as if you were some sore of extraterrestrial or something!" Ana let out a rippling laugh. "Can you imagine?"

"Well…" Octavia started but failed to know where to continue to. "Why did you think I was an alien?" She asked instead.

"That's the protocol Mr. Stark called for. Eddie turned it on last night. It's suppose to only be used encase of an invasion and if Mr. Stark caught one." Ana giggled. "We never thought it would get used and yet here we are!" A sigh of content escaped from her pink lips. "Can't say what would be better, though. Never met an alien before." She looked over her body carefully to make sure she hadn't overlooked a tentacle or two. The gesture made Octavia genuinely laugh.

"You'd be surprised how similar some of them look." Octavia disclosed. "Regular and irregular, by the like. As most of us are."

Ana's smile fell only a little into a prudent one. "As you are, that is for sure." She clarified.

"I suppose."

"No need to be ashamed of it, dear. We all have our crosses to bear."

"I am not ashamed." Octavia declared indignantly. "Who I am is not a cross, it is just me. I'm just me."

The red headed woman tilted her head to the side lightly as she gazed on the naturally dark haired one with sentimentality sparkling in her eyes. "Don't you have an old soul? I can see it right there." She used her finger to point up at Octavia's left eye. "Looking at it, I have the strangest feeling that I've seen it before."

Octavia blinked hurriedly before turning back to her laid out clothes. "If you don't mind, I'll go ahead and change." Ana's words were crisp as the ocean water. The urge to shed the last few hours off of her body flourished against her frigid bones and she hoped Ana would finally leave her in to do so.

"Before I go." Her lean wrist disappeared into the large pocket of the night gown she wore and pulled out a capped needle that her bony fingers held. "Mr. Stark asked me to bring something back." She confessed woefully.

With a shifting peek to the medical tool in Ana's hand, Octavia took a big step back with a slamming against the inside of her chest and she placed her hand in the air as defense. She didn't put a hold over Ana. Not yet. "He seriously sent you in here to get that?"

"I'm sure he figured my approach would be gentler."

"Is it?"

"Only if you ask nicely." Ana smiled coyly. She held the syringe in one hand and her other stretched out towards Octavia. "Please."

A thought of snapping the needle in half crossed Octavia's mind. It would be easy; barely anything to it. No movement required, no wasted energy. All she had to do was blink and it would be no more. Before she dropped her eyelashes to meet, another thought entered her mind. This might be the only time she'd be asked. If she were to refuse Ana now it wouldn't stop him. He would come back in due time with a much more aggressive attempt. She wouldn't be able to defend herself for long and Howard was counting on that when he gave Ana the needle.

Plucking the cap off of its tip, Ana pulled the plunger out of the empty barrel before motioning for Octavia to give her arm. With a heavy push against her own defiance, she placed the full weight of her wrist into Ana's open palm and waited for the pinch.


	7. Now or Never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so lost for so long to find my way
> 
> i failed to follow
> 
> i'm out of place

**ASTORIA**

**1 9 9 8**

**.**

"Move it, grass stains!" Rachelle pushed through the group of tourists corralling the center of the sideway. Shouts of displeasure and foreign insults chased after her but it did not slow her down as she raced away. In a few feet, she turned sharply down an alleyway. She climbed her eleven year old body up the side of a dumpster onto the fire escape on the side of the red and white bricked building. Most of the windows were boarded up along the side and on some levels they were opened wide for the world. In glimpses, Rachelle saw decrepit hollowed out spaces with forgotten furniture. Someone might take one look and think the rooms were barren in all but the abandoned remains, but the little girl knew otherwise. The darkness often held an uncountable amount of things that she dared not venture to think of.

Her friends were waiting for her at the eighth floor window and when she joined them, they each shared their own displeasure in her tardiness.

"What did you do, crawl here?"

"We could have missed her!"

"Way to go, Dairy Ass!"

"It's Diaz!" Rachelle snapped quick at her least favorite friend, Gael. "Trust me, we didn't miss her." She tried to reassure her friends as she pushed them out of her way so she could stand in front of the window.

"I heard she never leaves." Gael muttered to Rachelle's best friend, Samuel.

"Don't be stupid. How else does she get all her stuff?"

"She's got people that go out and get it for her."

Samuel dismissed his idea with a shake of his head. "No, I've seen her out before. Out more in Queens."

"Is that where she's from?" Their last friend, Jac, had asked over Rachelle's shoulder. She had knelled down in front of the window and latched her fingers under the rusted lever.

"No one knows where she's from." Samuel told Jac in a haunting tone. "She's an enigma." He wiggles his fingers at his friend for added effect.

"What's an eggma?" Gael asked and Rachelle couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"It's what I'm gonna shove up your asses if you three don't help me with this damn thing!"

In a quick scramble, the three boys jumped at the chance to help their friend with the stuck window. The crunching along the side of the pane stopped once they had pulled it up high enough. "Ladies first." Rachelle grinned proudly before slipping her small body through the opening.

"Lady, my ass." Samuel muttered which made her laugh.

The room she settled her feet onto was as bare as the ones below it, with half built walls and planks of wood haphazardly nailed across the floor. It was easy to see why no one had picked this place to lay their head at night. Rachelle was thankful for the lack of witnesses as her and her friends all slid into the building surprisingly undetected. Being stealth was definitely not a strong suit for half of their troupe and not getting caught was key to finding the psycho street dealer they sought out.

"I heard," Gael was practically screaming and each one of his friends shushed him in harsh whispers. "I heard," he lowered his voice tremendously but it still roared against Rachelle's eardrums. "That she can tell the future!"

"No one can do that." Jac interjected in a harsh whisper. "But I did hear she's walked around the whole city over four hundred times!"

"No way!"

"Impossible!" Each whisper was sharper than the last and Rachelle shushed them once again before pushing open the door to reveal the dark hallway in front of them. She told them to leave it open for the light as she searched for the one specific door. The last time she had been there she had come up from the stairs in the other direction, so she tried to remember if it would be on her left side nor or her right.

"Do you mean Queens?" Gael whispered back hurriedly.

"The whole city! My brother said she walked every street from Brooklyn to Sheeps Bay to East New York to Queens through Astoria all the way to Harlem before she was even our age. Took her three years to finish all the streets in Manhattan."

"Bullshit!" Samuel hissed at his friends to quiet them. "Why would she do that?"

"Don't you know?" Jac teased zestfully. "She's been looking for her long lost brother. Oooooo." He finished with a deep chuckle.

"Is she a ghost?" Gael asked sullenly.

"Of course not!" Rachelle gave them one last shush as they came upon the door she remembered.

The group grew quiet at once in front of the darken door. A faint murmuring rumbled on the other side that caught each of their breaths short.

"Is it true she really killed that mob guy?"

"He wasn't in the mob." One of them corrected. "He was just a dumb thief snatching purses. And she didn't kill him."

"Just threw him into a brick wall."

"One handed!"

"No, I was there." Samuel said and the others looked back at him. "She didn't even touch him."

They exchanged worried looks between each other but before one of them chickened out on her, Rachelle gave a swift pound of the door. It creaked open slowly and with a push from her hand it cleared the threshold. This room was not the same as the one they had entered, with variety of candles scattered throughout to illuminate the inside of it and helping them see all its hastily placed contents. Piles of mix-matched clothes were on their left as they walked in slowly, with an assortment of men and women's shoes beside it. Towers of books and magazines littered wherever they stepped. A long table had been set up in the middle with most of the room's miscellaneous items. Old broken cellphones, watches, and pieces of jewelry had their own groupings amongst the mass and as they came up on it, Rachelle searched through it expectantly.

A gust of wind swept around them and slammed the door closed behind them. Gael and Jac screamed at the sound which made Rachelle and Samuel almost leap out of their skins. A hearty chuckle cut through the air and Gael screamed again.

In between the only two windows sat a messy flat mattress top that supported the slender figure laying across it. Another laugh escaped from the center of it before the lanky form pulled it's top half up and turned its head slowly to look at the four children.

"She's just a girl!" Jac exclaimed once he saw the young face in the light.

"Older than you." She retorted before pulling her whole body off of her bed. More stacks of magazines and books cluttered around her mattress that she had to step over to approach them. "Now," she had said once she stood on the other side of the table. "What brings you fine people in here today?"

They shared another look, glancing one to the other to see who would be the brave one to speak next. Rachelle rolled her eyes at the boys and turned to look at the only-slightly-older-than-her teenager, holding her shoulders back and her neck straight. "We came to buy." She stated.

The teenager picked up her dark eyebrow at the olive skinned little girl in front of her. "I don't sell."

"Yes, you do."

"I don't sell."

"Yes you do! I've been here before!"

"Then you should know. I. Don't. Sell."

"The password," Samuel hissed behind her. "Give her the password."

She had almost forgotten the stupid mantra. With a roll of her eyes and a huff of breath, she spoke. "Let's make a deal, then."

The girl, who only stood a few feet above Rachelle, smirked down at her before striking out her hand. "Deal, it is."

Rachelle slowly slipped her sweaty hand into the girl's cold ones. She gasped when the long fingers wrapped around her tightly, her heart was racing against her breath. With a quick tug, she tried to release herself from her hold but the crazy teenager just tighten her grip. Panic rose quick inside of her and as soon as she recognized it - it was gone.

A tremor seized down her arm towards the girl's hand and disappeared from Rachelle's fingertips. Out of the corner of her eye, flicks of blue popped and dissolved around their skin but when she turned catch it, the girl had already let go.

"Each item is a deal." She stated to all of them. "You want something, you make a deal. No refunds."

"All we have to do is shake your hand?" Samuel asked from behind his best friend. Rachelle looked to her tingling fingertips.

"Easiest deal of your life, bub." She gave a small smile at them then. "So, what will it be?"

"I wanna make a deal!" Gael pushed Rachelle out of his way and threw his hand in the air up at the teenager.

"Ooh! Me next!" Jac leapt beside him.

Samuel's hands had clasped Rachelle's trembling one but she didn't seem to be in pain when he looked down at his best friend. "What happened?" He asked in a lowered voice.

"She just . . . She just touched me."

"That's it?"

Rachelle nodded quickly.

"Damn," Samuel cursed a bit more before chewing on the inside of his cheek. "Well. Go get what you came for." He nodded back to the table.

"So how old are you, really?" She heard Gael asking as she walked back over.

"Old enough." The girl had responded.

"You look like my sister's age!" Jac exclaimed as he looked over his stinging fist. "She just turned fifteen last week."

"I'm older than that." She defended.

"Not by much." Jac muttered to Gael before a pile of tapes and disks caught his attention. "Hey! She's got all those new movies that just came out!" He bolted to the stack without another word.

"Do you have any food?" Gael asked sheepishly from over the table.

The girl smiled softy down at him before motioning over her shoulder. "In the trunk by the bed. There's some water in there too."

His face lit up before scattering to get around the table.

"Did you steal all of this stuff?" Samuel asked as he walked over to stand next to Rachelle. She was still searching through the contents carefully but she could not find what she came for.

"It's an exchange. Sometimes I give people things and somethings they give me things. All that you see comes from that." The girl spelled out for him.

"What about the stuff I don't see?"

"You shouldn't worry about the things you don't see. You could really waste time missing the things that you do." The girl's hand appeared in Rachelle's vision as she continued her inspection and followed its path through an array of necklaces. Her fingers caressed a silver chain before plucking it from the mass. At the end of the chain hung a silver coin with three leaves centered in it with small words imprinted along the edges. Rachelle reached out quick to grab it but the girl pull it from her grasp.

"Hey!" Rachelle narrowed her eyes on the teenager.

"Take it out." The girl commanded in a low voice.

"What are you even talking about?"

"Take. It. Out."

Candlelight ceased its flickering as a stillness washed over the room. Rachelle would not back down from her just yet but she had definitely caught her off guard. "I don't know what you mean." She asserted outwardly.

"Your knife." The girl stated in knowing way. "Take it out and put it on the table."

The switchblade was in her front pocket and she had pushed it against the seam so it wouldn't seem to be sticking out. She slid her fingers into her long pocket before pulling out her enclosed blade with a tight grip.

"Table."

"Like hell." A flick of her thumb and a twitch of her wrist was all it took to brandish her switch's sharp edge. "I'm going to take that necklace and whatever else I want!"

To Rachelle's displeasure, the girl barely even looked scared. Actually, she looked a bit annoyed. "I thought I told people no weapons." She swatted her hand over the table. Rachelle's knife was effortlessly ripped from her hand and thrown across the room until the tip had found its end in the drywall. Wide eyed, she took a giant step back to see her weapon plunged high above her.

"I remember you." The girl strummed as she gave another wave of her hand and the table in front of her rattled against the ground as it was being shoved by an invisible force. It stood between them no longer as the girl took a few steps towards Rachelle. "Well, that's not true. I really remember your mother. And this." She held up the necklace just out of her reach.

"She gave it to me for some euphoria just a couple of weeks ago. I'm guessing she sent her daughter to come back for it?"

"I haven't seen my mom since the day after we came to see you." Rachelle spat out through clenched teeth. "It was like she was a completely different person since she came here. . . And it's your fault."

The girl's face softened but Rachelle only saw it for a second before she sprinted to the wall where her knife remained. Her friends had come to gawk at the psychopathic trader but Rachelle had other intentions. She wasn't going to leave until she got what she wanted.

Before her hand had even finish reaching upwards, it was stopped in midair. She strained her muscles forward but they locked in place and when she tried to pull back her spine cinched straight leaving her immobilized.

She turned to her friends and they all seemed frozen in their stances. Gael had two Oreo's crumbling in his palm onto the floor as only his eyes shifted back and forth in terror. Jac had stepped back onto the mountain of movies and knocked over half of them but did not fall back even with his one leg in the air. Samuel was outreached towards Rachelle as he had attempted to follow her steps. Only the girl moved. She stepped to the side with one hand in the air directed at Rachelle and the other still holding her mother's necklace by its chain. Rachelle watched only her movements as she continued her small steps until she stopped just her arm's length away.

Shadows casted over the teenager's already lightless eyes but the little girl could see them shifting through the darkness.  _She's reading my soul_ , Rachelle thought.

"You're not scared." The girl declared in a mild shock.

"No." Rachelle grimaced through her teeth.

The girl shook her head lightly, the long dark waves brushing along her shoulders. "No," she agreed. "You have too much anger to be scared."

"Are you reading my mind?" Rachelle breathed out.

The girl smiled again and repeated the shake of her head. "You shouldn't think of it that way."

"How should I, then, smart ass?"

A laugh escaped from the teenager's jaws and Rachelle actually felt it shake her bones. "You're funny." She quieted her giggle before taking another step forward. "I know you came here in hopes to rid yourself of your anger. You just made the mistake of thinking that was going to do it." She glanced to the blade behind them in the wall before looking back to the child in front of her. "If it is what you seek, it is what you will have."

The girl's icy thumb scorched against Rachelle's forehead. She tried to flinch away but her head remained coated in stone. Her body fought against the hold but no matter how hard she tried to shake nothing moved. A sweltering rage boiled from the acids of her stomach and burned against her throat. Before she could dispel it, the frenzy singed her nose hairs and blinded her with fire. The higher it rose, the less it was. Soon all she felt was a cleansing wash over her and a flood of gratitude fill her veins.

The next thing Rachelle knew, her mother's necklace was thrusted in her hand and the girl was half way across the room back on her bed. "Enough of this! Take your things and go!" She demanded of them brutally. The children scrambled together at once and swarmed to the door, knocking over books and tapes in their path. Rachelle wanted to turn around and get one last look but Samuel had dug his nails into her arm to help keep her in pace. When the last foot passed the threshold the dark door slammed hard and loud behind them, echoing throughout the neglected dwelling.

* * *

Storing the little girl's anger took almost two hours for Octavia, which would make her late if she didn't hurry through the streets. Normally, she could take her time picking up new items to collect or riding the transit twice to watch the mariachi band play again. But today, there was a big chance of missing him due to that last transaction. There was no time to collect or to even sit still during the twenty minute train ride over the river. Her tightly tied boots never stopped as she traveled between the cabin cars to the platform of the station down to the street. People brushed beside her but they ignored her just as they had ignored everyone else.

Octavia took her usual route through the streets and alleyways that connected to 44th St. The sidewalks were only slightly busier than usual but it did not deter her. She could spot him anywhere in a crowd. When she reached the corner at Park Ave., she dawdled her speed beside the lamppost stationed just on the edge. Across the street was his building that stretched so high Octavia could not see the top of it from where she stood. Rain or shine, often as she could, she stood on that street corner and stared up at all she had ever wanted.

Sometimes he would come out through those doors, sometimes she would stand there for days waiting. The shore was just beyond those doors but the depths of her misgivings kept her stranded by her post. It was a lifetime ago when she had found it but never once did she step off the curb.

"Hey!" A small voice from behind her and stole her attention from the street. The little caramel toned girl from earlier was hurtling down the sidewalk towards her. "Didn't you hear me calling after you?"

"No." She confessed honestly.

The girl skidded to a stop beside her, panting and grinning from ear to ear. "I was waiting outside for you."

"Why?"

"I-I don't know." She stammered and Octavia saw her kicking at the ground. "All my friends went home. I didn't really want to."

"I get that." Octavia dropped her longing glance across the street. "What's your name?"

"Rachelle, but my friends call me Rocket."

"Do they really?"

"No," she muttered. "Not really. But I want them to."

A small smile grew on her lips as she gave the girl a small nod. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Rocket. I'm Octavia."

"Cool." Rocket smiled wide as she looked up at her. "I like that a lot better."

"You mean more than what other people call me?"

Rocket's smile falter a little and she cleared her throat. "I think it's stupid."

Octavia shrugged. "It's got a nice ring to it, I think."

"You like being called a psycho?"

She didn't answer but instead turned her attention forwards. It was a name she couldn't quite shake off after four years since her run in with a couple of goons. The men had made the mistake of surrounding her in a dark alley one night in attempts to rid her of more than her belongings, she was sure. "Only when it scares away the bad guys." Octavia mustered out.

Rocket seemed to like that as she stepped closer to Octavia. "So, what are you doing?"

"Standing."

"I mean, what are you doing  _here?_ "

"Standing." Octavia repeated and let her smile grew as she saw Rocket's aggravation. "I'm just watching the people go by."

"Is it true what they say about you?"

"Depends. What do they say about me?"

"Well, my friends say you're looking for your family. Is that true?"

"That's vague. Isn't everyone looking for someone?"

"Yeah, well, I know who you're looking for."

Octavia hesitated before speaking again. "So?"

"So, that's really why everyone calls you psycho. They think you're crazy for thinking that guy's your family." Rocket motioned to the Stark Industries building they stood in front of.

"I don't care what people think." Octavia said sharply. "It doesn't matter anyways."

"If that was true, why are you standing over here and not over there? I bet if you really didn't care what people thought you'd walk right over there and tell him yourself."

"If it was that easy, I would have done it by now." She snapped.

"Why haven't you?" Rocket had asked the one question she asked herself everyday.

"Because I have the same fears that you do," Octavia responded.

"I'm not scared of anything!" Rocket declared instantly.

"That's not true. I felt your fear. Felt what you felt when you spoke about your mom. I know you think she left because of you. That you weren't good enough for her. I knew because that's what it is for me."

Rocket remained silent for a moment while she thought before she spoke once more. "If you really think he's your brother-"

"He  _is_  my brother."

" _If_  he is," Rocket continued uninterrupted. "You shouldn't make that choice for him. And if  _that's_  your family," she pointed across the street to one of the most expensive buildings in New York. "Why the hell are you bumming it with the rest of us?"

The question took the air out of Octavia's lungs and silenced her. How could she explain herself to this little girl? Rocket's mother left her while Octavia's father was taken. The little girl had no choice on where to go but Octavia did. It was her own doubt that kept her complacent on that curb because Octavia could not force herself to imagine what she would do if her brother did not believe her. "It's been a long time," she sighed. "What if he doesn't want me?"

"What if he does?"

Octavia looked down at Rocket, pursing her brow together in apprehension. "But what if he doesn't?"

Rocket smiled at her lightly. "Only one way to find out." She stepped off the curb as the light turned.

"Rocket!" Octavia yelled out over the street noise after her but the girl kept moving. For the first time in years, Octavia took a giant step forward, and followed Rocket's steps onto the pavement. "Rocket!" She called out once more.

The little girl picked up her speed going through the crosswalk but Octavia caught up with her quick and grabbed her arm. "Where the hell do you think you're going?!" She shouted down at her.

"If he really is your brother then you should tell him!" Rocket screamed back at her. "Some of us never get a second chance!"

There was a quiver in her voice that told Octavia she was right. A lot of people she had met spent their whole lives searching for their loved ones. Octavia had found hers only six years ago. There was always something that prevented them from being together whenever she saw him. Timing. Weather. She hadn't showered that day. Tony looked too busy and she didn't want to interrupt. The bitter truth was that Octavia was to blame for keeping them a part. After her father had died, she had nothing. No one. Then, the more she learned of her father's death, the more she had learned about Tony. Suddenly, she had a family again. Even if it was far away, or out of country, or across the East River, or just across the street, it was hers. If Tony didn't want her - if he didn't believe her - then she would have nothing all over again. No family or a chance of a real home. All she had was hope of a better life. Anything less was inconsequential. She pursed her lips together tightly as people brushed by them quickly.

"If I go in there," She said slowly as she looked down at Rocket. "There's no guarantee he'll even believe me."

"So, what?" Rocket smiled. "Make him."

Lights around them changed but neither of them had noticed. The bare street stole nothing from their immersive conversation and it wasn't until she heard a roaring in the distance that pulled her out of it. A dark blur flashed out of the corner of her eye and when she turned her head she saw the rushing black car approaching them at full speed. Octavia quickly pulled Rocket behind her. Without another thought, she threw her hands out into the air in front of her.

Shock waves of pulsated force erupted from her palms and echoed before her. The tires of the sleek sports car shredded to a stop just close enough for Octavia to feel the exhaust against her knees. Screams erupted in her ears from the street around her. The engine's rumbling hummed for only a moment before the driver threw open his door and leapt out onto the street.

"Hey, you!" The articulated voice sliced her attention as the sharply dressed man pointed his accusing finger. "What the hell did you just do?!"

"Watch where you're going, dude!" She yelled back at him as she lowered her hands to her side. A tightness seized on her throat when her vision cleared on the driver. "Shit…" she mumbled before rounding on Rocket. "Go!" She gave her a swift push back. "Run!"

Rocket took a stumbling step back before her feet caught up with her orders and she started to sprint. Octavia lunged in her direction and slammed her feet down after her but the driver was wise to her actions. He ensued her with a quick dash around his car door. Before she could reach the curb, Tony Stark had wrapped his arms around Octavia and tore her to the ground. The street hit the side of her face in a crushing blow that knocked the wind out of her. Through fast blinking spots, Octavia watched Rocket flee into the crowd.

As Tony's hands gripped her biceps and ripped her up, a gasp of air filled her lungs like gravel only to immediately be choked on the second she became face-to-face with the brother she had been searching for. Her hands found their own way to his forearms with the intent to make sure he was real. A pick of the wind sent his fresh scent plunging into her nostrils and she felt the muscles tighten under his soft jacket. She wrinkled the delicate material in her fingers before giving a narrow pull from his coat sleeves and jutted her open palm out to the center of his chest. Tony's thumb dug into her shoulder and forced her arm back into docility with a good shake.

"Stop it!" He spat in her face and she flinched. His face was close enough that she could see his inspecting eyes through the tinted glasses he wore. "I saw what you did!" Tony exasperated. "I was going to hit you!"

"You must've got good breaks…" She breathed out and he gave her another shake.

"I wasn't breaking!" He shouted. "I didn't even see you until I was stopped!" His grip tighten on her arms and she tried not to grimace.

"Shit driver, huh?" She muttered and pulled against his unyielding hold. He shook her again.

"How did you stop the car?!" He exclaimed breathlessly.

Car horns pierced their ears and when Tony turned back to find its source, Octavia gave another hard pull against his restraint. His coercive fingers rubbed her muscles along the tendons in her arm but she was able to slip from him. She pushed back from him before taking a fake turn around and side stepped quickly to finish the cross over Park Avenue.

Tony grabbed after her but she moved her arms out of his reach to leave him grasping at air. She rushed her feet towards the sidewalk but the people watching the scene along the edges of it blocked her path. With a rough push from an outstretched hand and one of her shoulders, Octavia busted through them in her quicken pace.

"Move!" She heard Tony scream at the people he passed by.

The row of doors that lead into Stark Industries were coming up on her right as she darted ahead of the group forming around her. Everyone was looking to see the scene but Octavia didn't pay them any mind. She tried to only focus on what was in front of her as she surged passed them. As the crowd started to thin out around her, she picked up her speed to cross the front of the building. Her own curiosity got the best of her and she turned her head to see if Tony was still chasing her. He wasn't.

She turned her head around with a bittersweet smile but as she aligned it forward her perception was flipped upside down by a tackling force that came from the street. Her back slammed hard against the walkway and when her vision cleared she saw Tony hovering over her with his knee digging into her side to keep her down. His hands gripped her arms again, this time his fingers dug in so hard she swore he was trying to leave bruises. His shades had flown off at one point which made returning his furious glare almost painless as she fixated on his dark eyes. She thought they had matched hers.

"Mr. Stark!" "Sir!" "Oh my god! What is going on?" A chorus of voices rang out around them as men and women in suits emerged through the glass doors beside them but neither Octavia nor Tony broke their harden survey of one another as they were encircled. "Tony, what are you doing to that girl?" The spirited voice must have been familiar to him, since it's what finally pulled his attention from her.

"Happy!" Tony exclaimed when he saw the large man appear beside them. "I need you to park my car."

Octavia turned quick to the man Tony was talking to and saw him a thick man sporting a small mullet looking bewildered down at them. "Where's your car?" He asked suddenly, almost forgetting his first question went unanswered.

"It's in the street." Tony distinctly jabbed her hip with his knee before lifting her up off the ground. She groaned in pain but it didn't seem to register to him as he held onto her arm. "I'm taking her inside."

"What happened?"

"I don't know." Tony answered and gave Octavia a sharp pull towards the doors. "But we're going to find out, aren't we?"

* * *

The room Octavia sat in was more or less bare. Stripped of basic essentials save for a metal sink beside a metal toilet. There was no toilet paper, no mirror. Only one door in or out. A cemented block ran from wall-to-wall and stopped just at her knees. Up until this point, Octavia had never been arrested or even questioned by the police - she was usually pretty good at running - but she didn't have to imagine this was not a far design away from being a holding cell of some kind. It was meant to break a person into submission but she was built to be unbreakable.

Her back was straight against the wall as she sat on the firm bench with her palms embracing upwards while the backs rested on the top of her knees. Blackness was all her eyes could see beyond their lids but it was not all she saw. The events of the last few hours were still raw on her mind. Before the smothering despair over her fate swallowed her forever, she concentrated on trying to minimalize it. If she didn't control her emotions she might very well give them reason to put her down like the stray she was.

The dragging steps she took through the lobby still ached in her calves that laid across one another. She still felt weightless from the elevator lift up to the sky even though she was sitting perfectly still. Time left her to count her own minutes. Hours might have passed but it wouldn't surprise her if she was being kept over night. Tony's round of questioning had left both of them disappointed which ended with her being thrown into this bleak captivity.

Before this room, Tony and her had sat in a similar one together with a stark clean table between them. Never would she have guessed that Stark Industries held such specific rooms and a thump against her breastbone asked what other rooms the building contained.

"Are you going to tell me how you stopped my car?"

"You're just going to think I'm crazy."

"Try me."

Octavia took in a deep breath. It was now or never. "Fine." She breathed out. Pulling her hands out from her lap she placed them carefully on the table. "Okay. Where do I start?" A loss for words stole her speech.

"Why don't you start with your name?"

She nodded lightly. "Octavia."

"How did you stop the car, Octavia?"

"With my hands."

"But you weren't touching it."

"I didn't have to."

"Are you telekinetic?"

She paused as she thought about it. "Yes?"

"Are you something more?"

"Maybe." She shrugged.

"Maybe?"

She nodded again.

Tony had clenched his jaw as his teeth grinded against each other. "Were you born that way?"

"Yes." This all felt oddly familiar to her.

Pushing back from his chair, Tony stood to his feet abruptly. He unbuttoned his fine coat and let the tails fly back before starting his pace around the room. "Are your parents alive?"

She scoffed. "No."

"Do you know who they were?"

"Only my father."

"Who was he?"

Her knuckles cracked as she clenched her fists. "I really think you should sit down."

"And I don't really care what you think." He snapped. "You have no idea what kind of situation you're in right now. Be smart and answer the question."

She bit her tongue as the bidding was stuck in her throat. Tony stopped pacing as he waiting for her to speak. Releasing her tongue, she let out the first words that had come to her mind. "He said his name was Howard."

Tony blinked. "Howard what?"

"Howard Stark."

Under his gaudily shaven facial hair, Octavia saw him smile before he let out a deep chuckle. "Wow. You are crazy."

"Didn't I just say?"

The thin smile almost melted off of his face. "Take a look at yourself, orphan Annie. You don't exactly have a leg to stand on."

"I've got my hands." She opened her palms to him.

"So I should take your word because you have some kind of superpower? Does that seem plausible to you?"

She made an open gesture around the room. "Does any of this?"

Tony grew quiet and Octavia took that chance to speak again. "I remember my father everyday. I remember his face - how it would crinkle between his eyebrows whenever he was concentrating. I remember the stories he would read to me. He always said the Odyssey was his favorite. I've read it sixteen times and I still can't see why." Tears burned her waterline and she clenched her eyes shut. "I remember the last thing he said to me. 'Be good until I come back.'"

When she opened her eyes, she saw Tony was no longer in front of her but started his pace again in circles around the room. "That doesn't even sound like the Howard Stark I know." Tony quipped down at her.

"Maybe you didn't really know him."

_BAM!_

Tony slammed his hand down on the metal table beside her causing her to jump out of her chair and take a few steps back from him. "You're just some street trash looking for a buck, aren't you? Coming in here and speaking nothing but lies."

"You brought me here…" she pointed out and he scoffed. "And I recall that I was trying to get away."

"And that!" He exclaimed with an accusing finger pointed at her. "If you're not lying, then why run?"

Octavia's opposition broke as her lips pressed together tightly. She inhaled a sharp breath through her nose and exhaled it with a sigh of defeat before speaking again. "I've been running for a long time from men like you. Men in dark suits. Men with weird glasses and women with strange powers like me. It's been so long that I don't even think about it anymore. I just run."

"Are you a criminal?" He sneered.

"If being whatever the hell I am is a crime, then yes."

"What a copout."

"Hardly," She retorted shrilly. "The Howard Stark you think you knew so well thought that I was too dangerous for the real world. I was locked away with nothing but some old radio with only one station as my connection to the outside world. I was barely ten years old when I saw the light of day for the first time. Right after my dad died. My whole world was thrown out like yesterday's garbage and I escaped with only the clothes on my back. I've been running to make sure I would never be put back in that room."

He had flinched when she said 'dad' and he waved her off quickly to quieten her. "That radio," he coaxed out. "What was the name of the station?"

 _Was that all he heard?_ His question brought her to scrunch her brow and left her perturbed. "It didn't have a name. It just played classical music all the time."

Tony's jaw relaxed then to let his mouth hang open in bafflement. After a moment, he closed it back firmly. "Come with me." He stepped back towards the door and barely waited for her to follow.

"Where are we going?" She picked up her feet and followed him closely down the hallway.

"Did it have any markings?" He ignored her question. "The radio?"

She sighed deep as she tried to remember. "Some word that started with a 'm'? 'Motorella'? No. 'Motella'? No." She cursed as she couldn't think of it.

"'Motorola'?" Tony offered briskly to her side.

"Yeah," she breathed out as she turned to look at him. "Have you seen it before?"

Tony barely glanced at her before coming to a halt in front of another door. It rushed open and disappeared into the wall before revealing the desolate holding chamber. With a sharp push from her back, Octavia stumbled into the room only to leave her trying to catch her footing before she could fall to the grey concreted floor. When she turned her head back to look at Tony, the door had rushed back out from its place in the wall and blocked him from her sight. Her eyes went wide before she started slamming on the door.

"Tony!" She shrieked with each slam. "Tony, please don't do this! Tony! PLEASE!"

After a while, Octavia stopped screaming and banging on the door. She silenced her cries as she settled into her stoic position on the stone pew and concentrated on dissolving her emotions into pure useable energy. All would be damned if she was locked away again.

If morning had come and gone, she didn't notice. Standing on that street and talking to Rocket felt like days ago. The worst thing that could have happened did. Tony hadn't believe her. She was locked inside Stark Industries only to be waiting for what he would do with her. He could turn her over to the men in suits if he knew them. He could try to kill her. Neither she wouldn't let happen. Octavia was ready to run to the ends of the Earth if she had to escape that fate. All she needed was for someone to open that door.

She thought about where she could go. Probably head east out of the country and walk the same steps as the first men did. She could circle around Eastern Africa before traveling through the major parts of Asia. The idea brought a calm over Octavia that she had not been expecting. Maybe she could have made a life without Tony but she doubted it would have been the same. Learning to live without things was a part of life, she came to realize.

Just as she was contemplating her new future, the door disappeared into the wall once more and Tony bounced into the grim hole she sat in. He no longer wore his fine jacket or his dark shades, instead he wore a dark t-shirt over a pair of worn jeans. His eyes were bloodshot and wild. Octavia could almost not look at them and focused her own gaze on the thick manila folder he gripped in his hand. Her body tensed instantly and she began to pull from her energy core.

Before the charge could fill her fingertips, Tony tossed the large file down on the floor in front of her. "That's everything I found on you." He stated blatantly.

Her power dissolved back instantly as she relax before Octavia leaned down to snatch the file off the ground. She began to rifle her fingers through it quickly and noticed many notes written in her father's hand. "H-how did you get this?" She sputtered. It was filled with information about her father's initial tests on her powers tracking throughout her childhood.

"It was in the computer system." He scoffed lightly and shook his head. "Your DNA unlocked it."

"How in the hell did you get my DNA?"

He held up a thin plastic strip between his fingers and in the middle of it was a singular strand of hair. "Picked it off of you."

Octavia tightened her jaw as she gulped. "Now what?"

Tony stepped forward before settling down beside her. The whites of his eyes were still streaked with red and his fixated look was untamed but there was more behind it. There was a sense of admiration that filled the space between them. Her brother said nothing as his expression softened on her and he let out a small breath before he reached his hands out towards her. She tensed as his arms wrapped around her shoulders to pull her into him. She gasped. He was hugging her. Tears swelled immediately as he tightened his hold. When she wrapped her own arms around him the contents of her file spilled out and scattered across the floor below them.

* * *

**HOWARD STARK'S MANSION**

**February 9th 1944**

**.**

It turned out to be Tony that Octavia had missed most of all in her first months in the past. Every morning she had woken up the same. She would look to her left only to be disappointed all over again. Waking up alone was, unfortunately, not something she was unfamiliar with. It was not having someone to share this experience with that turned out to be the hardest part. Edwin and Ana were gracious hosts and often tried to keep her mild company but it was not enough. These people were ghosts and because of it, she tried not to grow close to them throughout the last few weeks. If anything, the more she was around them the more it saddened her to know her brother would have loved to been there. This was his home once - lifetimes ago. Octavia was still a stranger despite having carried the name Stark for almost thirty years.

Instead of spending more of her days sitting around and listening to the radio with Ana, Octavia resided in her room for most of the day. It took a while for her to get her hands on a pen and some paper. For a couple of weeks Edwin had denied her of those simple things, stating that since there was no need for her to have it, he couldn't give it to her. It was Howard's one specific request that she was not given more than she needed. That seemed to not have included basic accommodations. She even noticed that she wouldn't have been able to make a phone call without a dial-out code. Since she didn't have anyone to call, it wasn't a big problem for her. Her own phone seemed to be useless as the carelessness of it being tossed around had left it cracked beyond this time's repair. It was getting her hands on something to draw with that became more important than anything.

It had turned out that Octavia had just been asking the wrong person. From what she could pick up on, Ana had made no such promises to Howard's demands. The Irish beauty often gave Octavia much more than she needed without her ever having to ask. After the first week, Ana had gone shopping for more clothes so that she could be feel comfortable in something of her own. She gave her extra books for her to read and brought a radio into her room so she could listen to music. Octavia really liked Ana and hated herself for not being more honest with this kindhearted woman. When she finally asked for the writing tools, she didn't tell her what it was for. There was no real reason why she hadn't. It just felt best to keep her intentions close to the chest. A few days passed before she was able to sketch the time machine she traveled through by memory. Her schematics were way off but she had gotten the initial shape of it down. The arch didn't have enough detail to it and that took her a week to get it remotely close. She should have looked at it longer but the more she pictured it the less it sense made. Itself the machine seemed to draw in its energy to force open a rift through time and space from an output source she had not seen. To her knowledge, there were several items in existence that could have enough power to create such a task. Limiting the possible solutions boiled down to what Tony could have gotten his hands on. Although every time she crossed off one possibility, another one would come to mind. At the end of the day, Octavia often found herself frustrated and a bit disheartened.

There was not a lot to see of Howard. Some mornings he would be down for breakfast but would not offer a word to his futuristic guest. She would see him in glimpses around the house or heard commotion rumbling under the house. A strong hunch told Octavia that was where she would find his personal laboratory - which could easily hold answers to her pressing problem. However, the chances of her getting to it unnoticed were low.

These security protocols turned out to be quite similar to some Tony had programmed but knowing what they were did not make getting around them easier. Sensors tracked her movement and most of the door knobs had finger print scanners or pass codes to enter before access. Most of the windows were bolted shut and the ones that weren't had no successful exit attempts. Even if she were to escape, the front lawn might have been the farthest she could go. The power lines that surrounded the street seemed to have an extra charge of power that acted as an electric fence around the house. It was no wonder Howard was in no rush to talk to her since he knew she wasn't going to go very far.

But Octavia had a few more tricks up her sleeve. It would take a sizable amount of the energy she had stored to be able to explore the house freely but ultimately worth it. The skill she had achieved when she was younger took a lot of time, which now she had plenty of. Stripping her astral form from her physical body was never a pleasant experience for Octavia. In her current state, there was no great threat to her person but as she traveled the astral plane she could feel her energy draining away. That sensation was the closest she ever felt to being tired. With a rough calculation of about 45 minutes in astral form every night, she would be able to inspect all of the house in about two weeks using only a little half of the energy she had left. The rest she tried to preserve and drawn on as need be.

Christmas passed solemnly with only the Jarvis' left to celebrate. Octavia kept to herself most of the day but added extra time in her astral form to watch them open each other's presents. For some reason, only their side of the house was decorated for the holiday and when it came time for the feast, Howard was no where to be found. He reappeared again after the New Year and in that time Octavia had finished her search of the entire house. Nothing in Howard Stark's home proved to be useful. Including the range of random inventions and materials in Howard's lower lab which was a pale imitation of any one of Tony's. She started the New Year as hopeless as she had ended the last.

The rest of January had passed by in a daze with much of her time spent locked away in her room. She finished most of the books Ana let her borrow - some she had already read. Once - maybe twice - her astral form would leave the mansion and find itself amongst the sleeping recruits of a military base. Among them laid her favorite person and he probably never thought twice about her after their previous encounter. Or was it now their first? As she watched the young man rise with the rest of his brigade and trickle out after them, she realized if she didn't get back to her own time it would definitely be their last. When she twisted her ring, she woke up in her room alone.

February started the same as the month before it and Octavia felt her mind start to go restless. She had not been trapped for this long in years. If she didn't have a chance to talk to Howard soon, she thought she might explode. There was no way she was going to be able to get home without him and his active avoidance of her grew apparent. The last few days she had spent tracking Howard in the astral plane. He had been holed up in his workshop for most of the time trying to complete an entombment machine that looked very familiar. He was just days away from one of the biggest experiments in history and Octavia feared she'd be locked away during the momentous occasion.

The most crucial question that had been left unanswered was what Howard had done with the blood sample Ana had collected from her that first morning. On her searches throughout the whole house she was unable to find the sample anywhere. There was no sign he had tested it or even kept it for that matter. If he used it at all for anything she would have no clue. It was maddening not knowing.

On this morning, Octavia watched Howard move around his lab in decisive steps. Determination was written all over his face and she wondered what had him in such focus. Curiosity got the best of her and she followed her father as he moved from workshop to hallway in a quicken pace. He took the stairs two at a time before turning down the hallway towards her room. Before he barged through the door, Octavia woke with a start and sat up straight in her bed as she made direct eye contact with the young man.

Pulling the small dark red filled vial she had been looking for out of his pocket and held it up between his fingers with a droll expression in his gaze.

"I think it's time we talked."


	8. Champion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm calling you from the future
> 
> to let you know we've made a mistake
> 
> and i'm back with a madness
> 
> i'm a champion of the people who don't believe in champions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [hey guys, so this is a bit of a sensitive day. if you havent heard by now the lead singer of Linkin Park, Chester Bennington, has passed away and i would like to dedicate this chapter to the people out there who feel hopeless or lost or who are generally affected by the loss of such a wonderful artist. you are not alone and even though it may seem like the only answer, there is always a choice.
> 
> since this is also a sensitive chapter where the character deals with sense of hopelessness and despair i'd like to put a little trigger warning *here*
> 
> there are depictions of character death in this chapter so if that is something you don't mind, that is okay.
> 
> if it is something you do not feel like dealing with today and you don't want to continue reading, that is still okay.
> 
> always remember that love is louder
> 
> and you matter most of all.]

 

**BROOKLYN**

**1944**

**.**

Octavia could not pin point exactly what was in the air that brought a sweetness to it but the smell awoke her senses in a delightful way. She had ignored Howard's request for her to roll up the window on their way into the next city just so she could enjoy the freshness a bit longer. When he had reached across her to pull the crank up she grabbed his wrist sharply.

"Leave it." Octavia commanded in a gentle voice. "Please." She released her grip on him and placed her hands carefully in her lap.

Howard slipped back into his seat without protest and gave her a small nod of his head. This was beyond a doubt a different Howard then the one she had gotten into the car with those months ago. He still held his head as high as before but there was a tenderness in his actions towards her now. It became present after their conversation over her collected blood sample just a few days ago.

The day he came into her room had all but taken her by surprise. She had been waiting for him to have done something a lot sooner but her father had definitely taken his sweet time before confronting her. Octavia could have already been halfway home had he come sooner and what she could only sum up to as a power trip left her with nothing but a rage filled with anxiety. When that day came, she was not shy in sharing it.

"It took you long enough." She said boldly before slipping out of her bed. "Sat on your hands with that, did you?"

"It took some time but I was able to run your blood through every test I could think of." Howard stated swiftly. "I couldn't believe what I'd found."

Octavia's new sleeping clothes hung modestly over her to stop just above her knees but she grabbed the deep purple bathrobe that glided across the floor and wrapped herself in it as he spoke. "I'm not going to ask what you found." She asserted. "I already know what's in there."

"So I guess you know we're family then, huh?" He trilled, deepening his laugh lines with his wide smile.

She paused for only a moment before she finished tying the drawstring around her waist. "Yes, I knew that too."

"But you didn't share it with me."

"You know why I couldn't."

"No, I really don't." His smile turned into a thin line as he gave her skeptical look. "If you had just told me who you were when we'd first met maybe I could've helped then. Instead - you let me keep you prisoner."

"Like hell!" A shot to her face would have hurt a lot less. "You have no right to say any of that to me! And if you want to go there then I'd love to point out that this is just as much your fault as anyone's." She stormed her words at him but to no effect.

Howard laughed. "Doubtful."

Octavia picked up her brow and let out a small chuckling scoff of her own. She walked over to her little study table and pulled out the papers she had been sketching on. Lifting them up in the air as she stepped over to him, she gave them a little shake to make sure his attention was on them before shoving them into his chest. "That's the machine I traveled through." She declared as he gathered the papers in his hands before looking through them. "I've been trying to figure out how long that took my brother to build and the detail alone would have taken over a year by himself. Plus, the intricacies don't match a lot of his original works. They actually mirror  _yours_. It's what confused me at first but I've noticed the differences in the similarities. Turns out, it was  _you_  that built this machine."

Any joy that once acquainted him left Howard as he searched the drawings in his hands with a sheer mix of sinking perplexing horror. "Why did I build a time machine?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. But this time you going to do it for me."

"Why should I do this for you? Huh? What do I get out of it?"

"You should really ask yourself that question. Something tells me you already know the answer." She advised him narrowly and with his abrupt leave, the conversation ended.

Octavia did not see Howard for another few days after that nor did she see her sketches once he had taken them. The next time he walked into her room again, he gave her a pressed clean white dress that buttoned from collar-to-hem and told her to put it on along with a pair of white socks and sneakers. The strange request was only obliged when she recognized the outfit for the nurses' outfit it was.

_What the f-_  "What is this for?" She grimaced up at him and he just gave a wave of his hand.

"We'll be late if you don't hurry." Howard clarified as he left her to change.

The getup made her feel ridiculous as she met him down in the foyer. He wore a brown suede suit with a matching vest over his thinly stripped white collar against a brown checked tie while his black pointed loafers stamped against the ground impatiently. "Jarvis is waiting for us in the car if you please," he motioned towards the door with his hand. "This is a very important day and I won't be late for it."

Now she was beyond confused. If she had gotten her days right then Howard should have been long gone by now. Why was he still there? "Are you going to fill me in or should I start to guess as to where we're going?"

"You know where we're going." He stated matter-of-factually. When she got closer he took her bicep in his grasp and pulled her along beside him hurriedly to the door. "I'm not going to spell it out for you."

"I don't know why you're bringing me." She pointed out distinctly. "Aren't you worried about what I might do? I could still be a spy."

Howard stopped their walking suddenly before the front gate between them and the street. He gave her a stinging glare and Octavia almost missed it with the blinding sun rising behind him. "Would you like to stay behind or do you want to witness history?" Her father's reprimand isolated a sullen silence in her and she spoke no more. A tight tug of her arm and he pulled her towards the town's car Edwin Jarvis had been waiting beside. "Ready to go, sir?" He asked as he opened the back door for them. They slipped in one after the other and, before she knew it, they were driving away from the Stark Mansion.

New York City disappeared behind them as they crossed the East River into Brooklyn. The drive took only some 30 odd minutes, which was plenty of time for her to figure out what Howard was up to. "Why bring me?" She asked at once. Turning her attention back on him she saw him shaking his head at her.

"You sure do have a funny way of being grateful." He deterred.

" _Grateful?_ " She breathed out exasperatedly. "Are you freaking kidding me? You locked me away! How the hell am I supposed to be grateful for that?" After she said it, she realized she wasn't talking about this last time.

"Well I've let you out now, haven't I?" He motioned to the window so she could see the sun rising over the city skyline. "And I hope that because you're  _so thankful_  that you'll keep your little abilities to yourself while you're out and about. We don't need to cause an unnecessary panic."

Octavia scoffed and shook her own head. "And please," He waved in her direction. "Do something with your hair. It makes you stick out like a sore thumb."

Her face grew hot. "You've really got some nerve, you know that?" She challenged him. "How am I supposed to just fix up my hair in order to blend in? In the back of a car? God, I thought you were smart."

"Calm down, doll." Howard pulled out what looked like a crocheted hair net from his pants pockets.

"You're a regular old Mary Poppins, aren't you?" She bleated as she watched him hand it over to her.

"Who?"

"Never mind. What is it?" She said as she refused to take the white net from his hand.

"It's a hair snood. Ana made it for you. Put your hair in it and pin back your bangs, no one will notice you."

She rushed her brows together in an irritated fashion and her neck inclined forward as she processed what he just said. "I'm not wearing anything that's called a ' _snood_ '."

"Call it whatever you want to then but you're wearing it." He tossed it into her lap. "You'll wear that and you'll make sure you do exactly as I say for the entire trip. No talking to anyone. Don't even look at someone for too long. If anyone asks you're my secretary. If you want, you can keep your silly undercover name for the time being. Put it on." He waved at her again and she sighed deeply.

Wrapping her hair in the thin laced fabric was almost impossible until she managed to secure it over the crown her head. Pins were sewn into the band which helped pull her bangs back as she anchored them in tightly. She was dressed more for a lame Halloween party than for making history. "You still haven't said why you're bringing me."

Howard watched her pull her hair together and entrap it inside the knitted cloth before catching her gaze. Octavia could sense the recognizance he was enduring just looking at her. She felt as if she had seen herself before but she had never known the familiar presence. A kick to her stomach told her she had no idea who she reminded her father of.

An affectionate inspection fell over her as Howard looked on and for a moment, he almost looked like the man she remembered. "I didn't want to trust you, Octavia. Every sign told me not to and every other one told me the opposite. I mean, for God's sake, you've impressed me from the moment I met you. It's no wonder you're my kin." He chuckled lightly and rubbed his mustache between his fingers. As the amusement flickered from his expression he glanced away from her to look down at his hands. The image of him sitting there reminded her of a young boy in his father's clothing.

"Knowing my family is in trouble, well that just doesn't sit right with me." Howard picked up his head and riveted his eyes onto hers with an intense conviction. "So I'm going to help me by helping you. Today you will witness the greatest achievement I have ever been a part of and when I send you back, you'll continue my legacy. You and your brother." With a blink, his expression changed to that of pure satisfaction with a growing grin. "What's his name, now?"

Without a thought, she breathed out "Tony," before turning away from Howard and rolling the window down to allow the wind to hush out the sound of his voice. They were half way over the bridge when she started wondered if it was the air that was sweet or her budding optimism.

* * *

The buildings surrounding the streets of Brooklyn seemed smaller than Octavia had remembered them to be but there was much more of a warmness to them than before. There were less people than she was used to but that was to be expected. Kids played stickball in the street while men in suits and hats and women in floral dresses and their heels passed each other on the sidewalks. She had been down this street before but it did not register as the same one until the car found its parking on the side of the road. It was Steve she was there with last and soon she realized she would be there with him again.

Edwin opened the car door on Howard's side, closer to the sidewalk and Octavia waited for him to climb out before she slid over to do the same. A gust of wind picked up behind her and Howard followed it down the street. With a quick pick up she mimicked his steps into an antique store. The bell above the door rang as they stepped in and rang again as it closed behind them. Shelves and tables filled the room with piles of miscellaneous junk that must have been hundreds of years old even before Octavia's age.

An older woman in a dull pink sweater walked out into the front of the shop from behind burgundy and gold fringe curtains. She gave them both a soft but inspecting up-and-down of their persons. When she straightened her head, she spoke with a particularly forced American accent. "Wonderful weather this morning, isn't it?"

"Ah yes!" Howard grinned ear to ear and looked at Octavia to make sure she was watching before giving a nod to the older woman. "But I always carry an umbrella."

The woman nodded back at him before moving around to the register on the counter top. Howard turned round again to see Octavia's expression and his smile falter a little when he saw she was seemingly unimpressed. "You could at least  _look_  happy to be here." He demanded from her as the old woman pressed her finger under the counter. A distant buzzing carried from beyond the back room and Octavia gave him a poor effort at a half-ass smile. Despite very much wanting be a part of this day, there was no joy she took in it. She knew what was going to happen and there was nothing she could do about it.

Octavia followed Howard behind the curtains and thought for only a second about where the rest of the shop could be once they stopped in front of a bookcase which took up half the wall. When the doors swung open at them it finally clicked in her head and she held in a breath as the long hallway was exposed before her. With one step in front of the other, she followed Howard down the white on grey stretch towards a set of double doors. A couple of men in their beige military police uniforms stood along the walls and stared down at them intimidatingly. As they reached the doors, they swung open away from them by the two MP's on the other side.

The scaffolding they stepped onto cat walked along half the giant space that was filled with tall computers that ran along the walls. Deviated in the center of the room was the Vita-Ray chamber Howard had been working on these last months. Men in long white coats wore thick goggles either on top of their heads or around their necks as they moved between stations. A fast blur out of the corner of her eye caught her attention and she turned to see Howard pulling off his suit coat. "Mr. Stark!" A thick German accent cut through the room and some people turned to watch Howard descend the steps down to the lower level. "I had hoped you planned on not missing this."

Howard handed off his coat to a man passing him by and ignored his attempts to hand it back as he walked towards the platform to stand beside his invention. "No need to fear, Abraham! My men have been entrusted to set the chamber up per my specific instructions. I'm just here to make sure it works." He winked at the scientist on the other side of the staging.

Octavia was so distracted by the old technology scatter all around her that she almost missed whom Howard was talking to. When she absently stepped beside him on the dais, her intake of breath stuck to the back of her throat as her eyes caught the ones behind the thin round glasses of the scruffy salt & pepper haired scientist before her. "Dr. Abraham Erskine." She let escape with her breath. Her hand jutted out between them as she ignored Howard's uptight petition to keep to herself.

Erskine's brow picked up at the shorter woman before him before lifting his lips in a small smile. "Why hello there," he stuck his hand into hers and they gave each other one good shake. "And who are you?"

"Olivia Stunner. I'm here to assist Howard with the project. I have to say, I'm very excited to see your work fulfilled." She gushed as her hand dropped to her side just as Howard appeared beside them.

"Wonderful, Ms. Stunner! Wonderful!" He beamed down at her. "You share much with your assistant, Mr. Stark?" Together, they turned their attention to Howard and saw him change from sour to sweet as he looked to Erskine.

"Sometimes, I think she knows more than me." He chuckled with a lightly forced laugh. "Excuse us, doctor." Howard took Octavia's arm again and pulled her back down off the dais towards the computers below it. "Didn't I say not to talk to anyone?" He hissed low in her ear as they stopped before the retro station panel.

"You say a lot of things." She observed eccentrically.

"None of which you seem to hear," he hissed low in her ear. "So let me tell you something that you have already stated. What you do now can create an effect that could destroy the future you so badly want to get back to. You want my help? Then do as I say. Keep your head down and don't talk to anyone. Do you understand?"

Octavia bit her tongue to keep from screaming and throwing Howard across the room. She almost couldn't believe he would throw her own words back at her, but this was Howard Stark. She had to have learned it from somewhere.

"I understand that you were right before." She remarked softly. "I do know more than you. When you realize that let me know."

Howard leaned his head in closer so she could feel his harsh words breathe on the side of her face. "But you don't know how to get home, do you? That you need me for, huh?" Before she could open her mouth he continued. "No need to answer. And since you know so much, why don't you calibrate these machines to the frequencies we need them to be at? With all your great power, do you think you could do that?"

A jolt of shock echoed through her and escaped with a soft gasp. "You're not serious are you?"

"Of course not." He spat over her shoulder. "You would kill the poor guy. No, I'm going to entrust you with the one thing I think you can do. Why don't you go set up the chairs for all the officials in the overseer? That seems simple enough for you." With a shove from her shoulder, Howard had compelled her towards the stairs.

"You're unbelievable," She seethed out quietly between her teeth.

"Tell me something I don't know." He motioned his fingers like legs going up the stairs.

With a huff and quick turn of her heel, she stormed up the steps and oddly felt like a child being sent to her room. Suddenly an alien invasion or a conscious super computer seemed more enjoyable than spending one more second with her father. Tony used to say Howard was intense and overly logical when it came to dealing with his son but she had never seen that side of him before. Octavia tried to only remember pieces of her early childhood but the man she knew as her father was never cold or discouraging. Howard was always very kind and would often share in her excitement of being in each other's company. Her father was never the man people spoke about and the more time she spent in his past the more she realized that she didn't know her father at all. Perhaps he truly was this frigid martyr everyone knew him to be.

As Octavia walked into the observation room, she couldn't tell what she was more annoyed by. The fact that she had actually intended on setting up the chairs or that they were already folded out with several men dressed in desaturated suits standing around them. Their chatter stopped with her appearance and she counted four pale faced middle aged men staring right back at her. Looks of vexation told her she had intruded on a private conversation. She took a step back and jumped around when her back bumped into someone's stomach. A sinking recognition of the general from her first night caused her to almost trip on her laces and she stumbled back. Before he could grab her wrist to catch her, she steadied her footing and pulled her arm back from his reach.

"What are you doing up here?" His roughened voice commanded an answer as he ripped his own arm back to his side.

"I was going to set up the chairs. Looks like it's already done." Octavia conceded truthfully. "I'll go find something else to do. Excuse me." She gestured with her hand that she needed to move around him.

He stepped forward, his medals clinking against one another as he did and Octavia could almost taste the morning coffee on his breath. Her nose crinkled involuntarily before she side stepped him to cross the threshold. "Hold on a second," his imperious tone stopped her mid step. Shit. The man shouldn't have remembered her. The amount of energy she took should have erased the last few hours of that night from his mind and the rest of the assemble that was with him. What the hell was she going to do if he did remember?

The military man waited until she turned around to face him before he continued. "Aren't you going to offer us anything to drink?" He queried from her.

Octavia felt her face flinch in dismay at his question and her brow marry together to wonder if he was serious. A second thought told her that of course he was and he was waiting for an answer. "I'm not here to get your drinks." She informed loftily.

His thin eyes narrowed more at her cavalier and he sneered. "Then why are you here?"

"Not to bring you drinks." She dismissed the room with a turn to the staircase and descended to the next level.

Her feet didn't stop until her toes reached the edge of one of the panels along the furthest wall and her hands braced themselves against the cool metal. It did nothing to smother the engulfing anguish she felt. Howard knew the truth but it did not matter. She was trapped with him and she was trapped without him. A prisoner - hopeless and forsaken once again. There was not one instance that could manifest from her memories that was worse than this. No lie was enough to convince her otherwise as she knew the day was only going to get worse from there.

A reverberation in her ear had muted the clattering in the open space around her. When she finally relaxed her jaw, she felt her eardrums pop and silenced the resonant. It took less than a minute for her to realize it wasn't the ringing that had deafened the room's noise which had grown quite and fixated its attention to the new attendants entrance. Octavia turned to focus on the same person each individual was staring at. He stopped just at the shoulder of the brunette beside him with his beige side cap stopping below her chin. In an instant, her rage sweltered to the size of pea before disappearing completely to be replaced by the desired longing of the young man at the top of the stairs.

Steve told her of this day only once before. It had not needed to be said more than that since she had remembered every word. He confessed that it was not what he had expected it to be and the volume of people there revealed the true seriousness of this responsibility on him. Each step down those clanking metal stairs gave him a different purpose that ended with the goal to not disappoint Abraham. In truth, Steve confided to her that was one of the most terrifying decisions he had ever made but he'd make it time and time again.

Flash of a camera's light broke her of her immersed contemplation. In the trance, her legs had carried her up the small incline of the dais to stand behind the tawny short haired military dressed woman. The dark curls caught her view and a straining tingle in the back of her neck reprimanded her for not knowing who that was. With a small step to the side, Octavia attempted to get a glimpse at the woman's face. Her prominent cheekbones and gentle features rightfully commanded attention while her fierce stance dared an approach. It would have been another lie to say she had not stood in this woman's presence before.

"Are you ready?" Erskine's thick inflictions brought her back to the present.

Out of her peripherals, she saw Steve nod his head. "Good," Erskine announced. "Take off your shirt, your tie and your hat." He instructed of him before nodding his head towards Octavia behind him to hand his things to. Steve's jump to echoed in her hollowed chest as he pulled his cap off the top of his head and handed it over to her. Their eyes caught for a brief moment before he started to unbutton his shirt. His small fingers fumbled over the top button before lifting his gaze back to her in awe. "I know you," He marveled and her lungs collapsed inward.

"You do?" Her breath was shaken and the words were cut the roof of her mouth. She felt Peggy Carter's inquisitive eyes boring into the side of her face and she sensed an impartial curiosity from her.

"At the World Fair," Steve surmised. Octavia saw a little smile play on his lips which reflected along her own. "You were looking for your dad."

"You remembered?" She blathered as she felt a flush over her cheeks.

He nodded nervously and she doubted it was due to their short conversation. His head fell back down to the buttons on his shirt to unfold them once again. A turn of her head was her only way to give him a sense of privacy. To her left, she had made eye contact with the classical beauty giving her a delicate study. "Did you find him? Your father?" The silken posh English accent cut through the stillness between them as she continued their conversation for Steve.

_"Howard, what have you done?"_  The distinguishing voice produced an unknown awareness forced away in the back of her mind. A keen digging at the core of all of her strength told her she had heard it before. "Y-yes." She stammered humbly. "I did. Thank you." With his cap in one hand, she extended her free one towards the profoundly remarkable woman she stood beside but instead was accepted Steve's shirt and tie. "Olivia Stunner. Pleasured to meet you."

"Agent Carter." Peggy nodded towards her as she saw her hands were full. "Always nice to see more women around, isn't it?"

A chuckle rumbled from the acid pits of her stomach and blurted out surly. The question had stirred her anger awake and she wanted nothing more than to share her misery with present company. Steve was still looking onto the engulfing chamber with no other regard on his attention. Swirling resentment of her lasting treatment came to a rest as she watched the ailing young body amble to the step stool placed for him to climb in. Being reduced to a dumb waiter suddenly seemed worth it just to watch him settle himself in. "Yes," she simpered. "It is."

Peggy wasn't entirely paying attention but kept her eyes fixed on Steve from the feet of the chamber. There was no bother from her as Octavia had been keeping her own gaze on him in similar fashion. Knowing he would no longer have any need of his clothes, she handed it off to another passing man in a long white coat and let him decide on where to store it.

Off to her side, Erskine had appeared with a light touch on her elbow to draw her attention to him. "Prep the penicillin, please." An open palm directed her vision to the nurse's table beside the camber as he advised her tacitly. White shoes skidded across the floor without thinking to and stopped on their mark as if this was where they were meant to be. Thin fingers that looked like hers slipped into white plastic gloves before laying out her intended instruments. Between Octavia and Steve slipped the German scientist responsible for all of them being here and she compressed the striking urge to warn him of his fate.

"Comfortable?" She heard him ask of Steve.

Steve scoffed in return. "It's a little big." He turned his head and flashed him a toothy smile.

Erskine's shoulder thumped up with his chuckle.

"You save me any of that Schnapps?"

"Not as much as I should have." Erskine admitted solely. "Sorry. Next time." Octavia flinched as she bit the inside of her cheek.

"Mr. Stark?" Erskine called out to Octavia's father and she saw Steve react sharply in Howard's approach. "How are your levels?"

"Levels at 100 percent." Howard demurred as his eyes shifted inspectingly over Steve. Erskine leaned over Octavia's shoulder and enlightened her to how many cc's she needed in her syringe. "We may dim half the lights in Brooklyn, but we are ready." He glanced back to Octavia and their eyes met for a brief knowing moment. "As we'll ever be." They turned away from one another and Howard stepped back to the main computer panel.

"Agent Carter, don't you think you would be more comfortable in the booth?" Erskine suggested to her as he pointed to the observation room and she straightened to attention.

"Oh, yes, of course, sorry." Her heels clicked against the floor and when Octavia turned her head she saw Steve watching her leave. He had never spoken about Peggy before and when she died, Octavia tried to understand his loss but it was one of the few things he kept to himself. It dawned on her in that forlorn moment that he probably never wanted to talk to her about the woman he once loved. Octavia didn't know what made her more sad; that he didn't or that she was thankful for it.

He didn't look like the man she was to know - not yet - but he was still in there. That good man that grounded her in ways he couldn't understand. It was him that kept her from telling everyone to evacuate and save themselves from the hidden assassin. It was his courage that kept her from pushing him out of the chamber and telling him this wasn't the life he deserved. It was the look of yearning he casted on Peggy that kept her from destroying every single vial of that toxic substance that ruined so many lives - including her own. It was the weight on her left ring finger that kept her from saving one innocent life today.

The blond hair lifted up and those blue eyes she looked for every morning caught her staring. A deep blush rushed over his pale cheeks before he turned his head forward. Octavia felt her own cheeks burn and she turned down to the little table to finish her prep.  _Stop staring, dammit._ She told herself.

"Can I ask you something?" She heard his voice mutter under his breath after a moment but it buzzed as if he said it right next to her.

"Of course." Octavia turned her body back to him but he could barely meet her gaze.

"You said your fiancé was a little guy, right?"

The blush across her cheeks and over her nose did not dissolve as they spoke. "I really can't believe you remember that."

His thin shoulders lifted in a small shrug. "Hard to forget a pretty girl who likes the little guys."

Her lips stretched softly as she glanced away. "Was that your question?"

"No, I just…" He paused and she looked back down at him. There was a mixture of emotions radiating off of him and if she could not pick one to focus on then she doubted he could. She could sense his confusion, his misgivings towards his decision, but more than anything, she felt his contending fear winning over his endangering bravery. "I just wanted to know if he was okay." Steve deplored and Octavia wondered what his real question was going to be.

She nodded softly, feeling her netted hair bounce against the back of her neck. "Yeah. Yeah, he's okay. Honestly, I think he's probably scared out of his mind right now." The same could have been said about her Steve but she wasn't sure how time worked on their end. It had been months for her, how long had it had been for him? "Do you know what I would say to him, if I could?" Steve shook his head lightly. "I'd remind him that there's a reason why so many people count on him. Because he's the type of guy that can go the distance, you know? It's why people look up to him. It's why I love him."

His long eyelashes kissed as he blinked softly but he had still not turned to look at her. "Sounds like quite a guy you got there," he surmised listlessly.

"He's incredible," she murmured as the small smile melted off of her lips. A twinging strain compelled her to turn away in the only attempt to make it stop. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the tip of his blond hair lift up towards her again.

Thudding feedback echoed whiningly and stole focus from all before Abraham Erskine's voice rang out through the speakers.

_"Ladies and gentlemen, today we take not another step towards annihilation, but the first step on the path to peace."_

Another nurse pulled metal straps over Steve's shoulders and two other men wheeled in a large cylinder crate beside the doctor. They opened it to reveal the clear blue blight of history.

_"We begin with a series of microinjections into the subject's major muscle groups. The serum infusion will cause immediate cellular change."_

Out of the seven little pods, six were pulled out and injected into their own slots inside the chamber.

_"And then, to stimulate growth, the subject will be saturated with Vita-Rays."_

Octavia had soaked half of a cotton ball in rubbing alcohol before swapping the side of Steve's feeble shoulder. Her hands did not shake when the portal closed above Manhattan. They did not quake as she stared out at the rising horizon and prepared herself from what would have been her last moments. Nor did they tremor when her brother left her behind at Raft. As she stuck the thin needle into his soft muscle, her hands remained steady and precise like she had done it a hundred times before.

When she finished, she pressed the cotton ball on the exit spot as Erskine appeared beside Steve, who was releasing the grimace he held. "That wasn't so bad," he exhaled.

"That was penicillin." Abraham stated sympathetically. Steve's head turned sharp with wide eyes in frightened exasperation and Erskine gave him a gentle "what-can-you-do?" look before catching the eye of one of the technicians off to his right. "Serum infusion beginning in five…"

Octavia had stepped back several steps but her fixated stare had not left the man lying before her. Everything felt wrong and she tried to swallow the hard mass in her throat but it just stayed put like she did. "Four…" All she had to do was pick up her hand. She had been thriving off the energy from the room all morning. It would not take more than a second. "Three…" Maybe a flick of her wrist and it would all be over. The vials could explode and leave no trace of it left to find. Erskine would be saved. Steve would never be trapped in ice. Howard would be ruined. She would have died as a child - if she would ever be born. Time would create a paradox and swallow itself whole.

"Two…" Abraham touched Steve's shoulder comfortingly. Octavia's arm flinched.

"One."

Machines whirled to life at the pull of a lever and with a hiss the new plague was released. Flooding through tubes and swelling the veins of Steve's tensing body. Her jaw ached as Steve grinded his teeth in. His watery eyes flung open as a gasp released into the air above him.

"Now, Mr. Stark." Erskine proclaimed.

Her young father looked down to the red lever and pulled casually with only three of his fingers. The chamber lifted itself vertically with the sides of it enclosing around Steve before locking in place. Octavia winced at the significant sound. Above the machine a giant air compressor was secured into the socket built in at the top.

Abraham Erskine walked close up to the chamber before giving a few small knocks of his knuckle against the metal. "Steven?" He asked worrisomely. "Can you hear me?" He tried to peak into the little window above his head.

_"It's probably too late to go to the bathroom, right?"_  Steve's muffled voice called out from inside.

With a smile on his face, Abraham Erskine turned around and nodded. "We will proceed."

Howard nodded before stepping back to the panel over and twisting a large dial. Octavia half wondered where he had gotten to dark thick goggles he slipped over his eyes as he stopped in front of a small turning disk projecting out at hip level.

A heavy humming carried throughout the room and intruded Octavia's senses as Howard turned the wheel. Bright light illuminated from inside the chamber and when it caught her eyes, Octavia had to clench them shut to be in the comfort of darkness. "That's ten percent." Howard's voice rang out.

"Twenty percent. Thirty."

Loud lifeless screeching punctured everyone's ears.

"That's forty percent."

"Vital signs are normal." An unknown voice called over Octavia's shoulder.

"That's fifty percent. Sixty."

The screeching increased to tighten her face into a cringe. High-pitched and deafening, Octavia almost didn't hear Howard continue. It wasn't until an agonizing outcry erupted from the depths of Steve's lungs that the rest of the world seemed to grow silent. His groaning howling broke the darkness a part as she watched Erskine rush to the machine to peer through the blinding light.

"Steven! Steven!" He banged on the casing rapidly but to no response.

"Shut it down!" Peggy Carter had rushed out of the booth with her distraught demand.

"Steven!" Abraham shouted once more. Still, Steve did not answer.

"Shut it down!" Peggy commanded at once.

With a precise turn, he pointed to Howard in a decisive gesture. "Kill the reactor, Mr. Stark!" He rushed towards him. "Turn it off! Kill it! Kill the reactors!"

Howard moved back quick and grabbed the red level with his full fist. Before he could pull it down, Steve yelled again.  _"No! Don't!"_  His voice was strained as he forced his words.  _"I can do this!"_

Abraham was frozen agape and when Howard rushed back to the wheel, he shifted around to watch him curve it again without another thought. In a swift moment, stinging tears of granted gratification quietly thanked her father.

"Eighty. Ninety."

It was her heart that was attempting to climb out of her throat, she realized as it raced against her clavicle. "That's one hundred percent!" Howard declared. The buzzing sharpened brutally and waged war against its source in a shrieking battle. An overwhelming rush of sparking energy shot out at the air to strike her with a branding prod on her right shoulder, her left arm and on the side of her stomach. It was a sudden ache that burned away as quick as it struck. Sparks of forced kinetic power cracked out of the machines surrounding them and the brazen light snuffed out. When the bursts sizzled out, the endless hunger of her core power absorbed them seamlessly across the room and fueled her ravenous entity.

Seconds passed in hours as the Vita-Ray chamber powered down. Octavia did not hear the lock unlatch and Erskine shouted at her father for answers. "Mr. Stark!?" Uncompressed air hissed as the doors pulled themselves open in revelation of the first successful experimentation of the Super Soldier Serum.

Steve Rogers the sickly adolescent was no more. Presented before all was the true strength matching what he held within. He was out of breath and gleaming with exhausting perspiration but he was still there. Abraham approached him carefully before taking his arm and guiding him to his feet. Howard had sprinted across the dais and slipped under Steve's arm to help steady him. Feeling her own body unlocked, Octavia stepped in unison behind Howard as the scientists awed at their creation.

"I did it." Howard breathed out.

"Yeah, yeah." Abraham clipped. "I think we did it."

"Actually," her father resounded with admiration. "You did it."

Squeezing through the dense crowd of scientists, technicians, and suited officials, Peggy appeared before Steve in her stricken daze. Her eyes were dancing over the new firm build with unfocused adoration. From behind him, Octavia could not see how he looked back at her but just saw the rising and falling of his shoulders as he caught up to his breathing.

"How do you feel?" Peggy gasped softly.

"Taller." Steve's voice panted out.

Peggy's shoulder lifted hastily for the tip of her finger to brush over the top of his chest. In an abrupt flash of her eyes connecting to Octavia's behind him, she dashed her hand to the shirt another nurse had offered for Steve to cover himself with. The gesture brought a funny little smile on Octavia's lips as she didn't blame Peggy for her efforts. It was the unknown elephant in the room that kept her from attempting to do the same. Even Howard, who was shaking hands and cheering with fellow colleagues, was only slightly oblivious to the real truths. Steve was hers -  _once_  - and it was because of him that she knew what was going to happen in a matter of minutes.

"You look taller." She heard Peggy comment under her breath but she had turned her attention to Abraham Erskine as he grinned from ear to ear and shook the hands of the men around him. He must have seen her staring out of the corner and angled his head towards her, his smile never moving. Their hands found one other ceremonially with shakes of comradery. With her free hand, she placed it over their grasped ones and looked on him with a remorseful gaze. "Thank you." She breathed out earnestly. "I really don't think I would be here if it wasn't for you. It all kind of started with you, didn't it?"

Abraham's brow furrowed as he leaned in to hear her better and his grin dissolved to a confused frown. "I'm afraid I don't understand." He bleated.

A pulse of waning sanity urged her to take a step forward, never letting go of his hand as she leveled their gaze. "Can I tell you something?" She whispered. He gave a curt nod as she leaned in to his ear. Hushed divulgence drowned out the cheerful chatter around them and when she finished he gripped her hand tight enough to break her bones.

"Who are you, again?" Abraham rasped.

"Someone who is very sorry that she couldn't do more. I really wanted to." Octavia confessed regretfully.

Over her shoulder, beyond the rest of the gathering, stole Abraham's concentration as a lone grey suited man stared menacingly through him. Malice written behinds his large frames as his thumb flicked the rivet of the silver lighter lifted in his hand.

The blast shook the room as shards of glass showered over them. Screams of terror filled her ears as the force pushed Abraham into Octavia and knocked her off the edge of the platform. Men covered the women from the explosion's tirade and in the confusion the last vial was snatched by the devious fiend. "Stop him!" Abraham shouted.

"No!" She screamed in protest at the sight of the executor's flaunting gun from above her. Two shots echoed over the shrieks of horror and Octavia shoved her words back into her mouth with the encasement of her shaking hand.

Abraham Erskine collapsed to the ground while the bandit made off up the stairs, shoving the contained serum into his chest pocket. Peggy shot off at him. Clipped him once in the shoulder and another shot into the wall just beside his head as he kept running after shooting the military police officers at the top of the stairs. He disappeared behind the double doors and Peggy ensured after him without looking back. It was the same reaction Octavia had to fight off.

She lifted herself up as Steve rushed past her and fell beside the dying man as he gasped gravelly for breath. She couldn't watch as he raised his weak finger to press into Steve's chest but her the scene haunted her all the same. With the fall of his insentient hand, Abraham Erskine's lifeless eyes casted down on her and revolted against any assurance she had acquired in the last few hours. Flames charred the once sweet air as she watched Steve ascend the stairs and disappear from sight.


	9. I Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: And I'll use you as a focal point
> 
> So I don't lose sight of what I want
> 
> And I've moved further than I thought I could
> 
> But I'll miss you more than I thought I would
> 
> real disclaimer: i do not own any marvel characters. no copyright infringement intended.

**CHAPTER 9**

**AUGUST of 1998**

**.**

Two thousand, one hundred and forty one seconds to drive from Manhattan to the street that held her makeshift home - and her brother had talked through every single one. Happy Hogan, whom had been properly introduced her as soon as she was out of that godforsaken holding cell, offered to drive them over the bridge but Tony insisted on being behind the wheel. It did not give anyone but him any easement. The entire drive her brother spoke about the upcoming board meeting she had to be in attendance for. It had only been a few weeks but he had said he wanted her to be a part of everything - including Stark Industries. That wasn't something she had been expecting but when she tried to decline, he wouldn't listen.

"Our dad created this company, O," he stated candidly. "It's yours too."

It was difficult to argue with him with the last few days having been so wonderful, she doubted what harm could come from having a piece of cake too. Octavia did not go back to Astoria since meeting Tony because he had attempted to give her no reason to. He cleared out a whole level of Stark Tower just for her and filled it with everything she could of thought of and more. There was enough room for a whole three bedroom apartment with four bathrooms and a gigantic kitchen with high-tech appliances. On the same floor was a gym, two game rooms with every different kind of consoles available and TVs along walls next to shelves filled with every game that must have been created. Electronic or otherwise. Before the week ended, he had filled a whole another room on the level with clothes and shoes in her size. All of it was a bit more than she had needed but she could not find a complaint to share.

Only one thing seemed to have been missing in all of her joy and it was the presence of her ray of collected books. It seemed a silly thing to go back for but those were what kept her under control. Whenever she was trapped inside of her own mind due to disabling anxiety from loneliness or controlling fear, it was those paperback stories that brought her to sanity once again. Bringing up the desire to retrieve them prompted Tony to buy her a whole new collection but she had to insist on their retrieval.

"It's not the same," she tried to explain. "Somethings just can't be replaced."

So Tony declared to make a day of it and retrieve her belongings together. A real brother-sister bonding moment, he called it. Ever since he had discovered who she was, Tony had been so overly eager that Octavia couldn't tell whether or not if this was how he was all the time. He still felt like a stranger but all of a sudden a stranger she could trust with her life. There seemed to be no need to fight anymore. She had her brother now and was finally close to having the family she always wanted. As Manhattan shrunk in the distance, she thought of their father rejoicing over the two of them finally finding one another and left the rest to history.

"I can't believe it's Obie throwing the contest in our way." Tony had been speaking this whole time about that damn meeting but Octavia was elsewhere with her face practically hanging out the window. The air had surprisingly smelled sweet like candy and she couldn't figure out why. When he mentioned Stane, it brought a sour stench to crinkle her nose. Cursing the river below for its lingering aroma she watched the window roll up with a light push of a button before turning her head back to her brother.

"What?" She asked dizzily.

"Where you even listening?" He accused pointedly. "This is important, O."

"You can say my whole name…" She muttered goadingly. "Keep sounding like you're doing a really bad Spanish accent."

"Maybe that's why I like it." Tony boasted jestingly as he caught her gaze with a smile. "Haven't you ever had a nickname before?"

Octavia shrugged. "People call me "psycho" but never to my face. Does that count?" She laughed out.

Tony's smile fell. "No. I don't think it does."

Her shoulders lifted and fell again. "Anyway, you where saying about Obie? What contest?"

As they exited the bridge, Tony turned back to the road and passed a car to get ahead of them on the ramp. "He's the next majority shareholder so he's in his right to challenge the claim of shares we're asking for you."

"How much are we asking for?"

"Next majority."

She had jerked her body up in her seat at Tony's proclamation with wide wary eyes. "What?! You're not serious, are you?"

"Of course I'm serious! If I have the majority then you should have the next, it's only fair." He maintained his eccentric tone as he confided his reasoning with her.

"Obadiah doesn't see it as fair. Probably why he's challenging us." She pressed the idea so to absorb into his mind, hoping it would take hold. "And he's right to! I don't need to be a majority shareholder. I'd be happy with  _a_ share. Can't we just ask for less?"

He had been shaking his head at her speech, dismissing all she offered as if he had no intention of hearing any of it. "No! Dammit, Octavia, this is our dad's company we're talking about! We control all of it or it burns to the ground."

Her stomach churned and brought a grimace over her face. "You would do that?"

"I wouldn't have to do anything, O." He glanced back to her for a second. "Stark Industries is nothing without a Stark."

Pressing her lips tight against one another, she leaned back against the side of the door to get a better look at him. He was a lot different than she had expected him to be. In her wildest dreams this was almost exactly how everything went - down to a tee. Except for Tony. When she thought about it, she couldn't really remember how she had pictured him to be. Welcoming, yes. Excited? Sure. Abrasive and demanding? Hadn't crossed her mind. Tony was already a grown man when she realized she even had a brother. What she knew of him was what everyone else did and it wasn't even the tip of what he really was. Brilliant. Rich. Stubborn. Overbearing. Even a bit annoying which turned out to be refreshing for a long lost brother. If she was honest with herself, she would admit that Tony was everything she wanted to be. There just seemed to be a few distressing issues.

"I'm not a Stark." Octavia whimpered softly before blinking away Tony in her vision.

The street she had lived on was already known by him and he needed no direction in finding it. Seeing it struck a strange chord as she looked on the street she had walked a thousand times as if she had never seen it before. When the car stopped across the street from her building, she tried to inspect every detail to spot the difference. There had to have been something about it that had changed.

Tony stretching his arm to rest his hand on the shoulder of her seat stole her from the immersed review in curiosity to what brought his own focus-set eyes on her. With a decisive thought on his crinkled forehead, he moved his hand from the seat to her. He gripped her shoulder with a tight but comforting squeeze.

"I never want to hear you say that. You are, and always will be, a Stark. No matter what, okay?" He consoled soundly.

The sweetly coated day had curdled a bit for Octavia and she wanted to go back to just a few minutes ago. Tony knew about her childhood, without her having to even talk about it. Whatever was in those files he had given her that day had detailed all of their father's work and study of her. The documents had went all the way back to October 23rd 1983 to described Octavia at only a year old. Reading anymore brought a queasiness over her body and she asked her brother to destroy it. If he did read any of it he didn't share the fact nor did he ask her about anything that was written. She was ultimately indebted for that and hoped he would continue the gracious feat as she touched his hand with her own.

"How are we going to prove it?" With a fretting optimism, she forced a favorable smile across her lips. This was more of Tony's desire than her own but it became easily the least she could do in return. As long as her past remained hidden, there wasn't a thing she wouldn't do for him.

A gleaming grin stretched over his goatee as his grip tightened on her shoulder enthusiastically. "Just trust me, O. I'll take care of everything."

* * *

**.**

When she was fourteen, she had found the abandoned apartment complex left in ruins after a police investigation condemned it to the city. No one would purchase the property after the original owner had died hanging the chandelier in the lobby. It had been left untouched for years before Octavia had found it in mid-reconstruction. The previous owner had been attempting to put a new high-end look to his building to attract classier renters. After his death, the tenants found the place unlivable once revealed it was the new landlord that had pushed over the ladder. He had also liked the idea of bringing in a more expensive clientele.

The building was not in an attractive enough neighborhood for anyone to want to buy or renovate, so it sat needlessly for new attendants to fill its dwelling once more. Octavia had found a place to rest her head in peace away from some suspecting people. Lower levels were easier targets, especially for a lone resident. Taking the stairs to the top proved a challenge since they had ripped out the main staircase to replace the decaying wood. A service stairwell climbed the building from the back to lead up to the maintenance doors located on each floor. They had all been locked a long time ago but no common door seemed a match for the twist of her strong grip. Sometimes, the locks would break into little pieces and allow her entrance. Other times, her powers would reach the mechanism of the locks before her hand could grace the metal and be left unlock without a single touch. Octavia had been explaining all of this to Tony as they had climbed the stairs and ascended into her chosen room.

Having been built on the roof, the top floor was one of the last additions to the Astorian construct and had no flashy accommodations yet. Almost all of the rooms had either been halfway finished or just simple four walls with bathrooms stripped to the bone. It took only three months to fill the room with the necessities she needed but over two years to clutter it completely. Seeing what all she could collect within the day had become a hobby of sorts. She had never expected it to turn into what it did. As Tony looked over all of her stolen goods and exchanged trinkets, she couldn't think of a better way to describe the comfort in her actions.

Between the look they shared, she could not only feel his disheartened worry over her horde but she could read it across his tightened expression. It was the last way she would have expected him to react. "You lived like this?" He asked breathlessly.

Her nose crinkled at the question. "So what?" Octavia jabbed in a harsh defense. "It might not be Stark Tower but it's mine." With a narrowed twitch to her gaze, she dared Tony to speak of it again.

Stiffen concerned muscles had dissolved into an amused bounce over his person as a chuckle slipped into the air. "Fair enough, O. Fair enough."

_"You're back!"_

The small voice cut excitedly through them and turned the Stark siblings towards the open doorway. Rocket stood in the middle of the threshold with plastic grocery bags containing miscellaneous items hanging from her hands and dragging against the floor. Octavia's back tensed in surprise, straightening up as she recognized the little girl who was responsible for her finding her brother. Tan chubby cheeks were wide with cheer as she flashed her little teeth at them eagerly. She had only seem to flicker her enthusiasm when the recognition of Tony settled in place.

When she finally caught her eye again, bewilderment had brought the little girl's dark brow together harshly as her wide grin shrunk to nothing. Standing before her was proof of where Octavia had been all this time and the question did not need to be spoken. Bags of heavy objects clanked against the ground as the immersive smile diminished into a broken scowl. Dashing hope escaped out through her as Rocket's long brown hair twisted around and the little girl disappeared from the doorway from where she arrived.

A quick look from her brother told her not to go but Octavia rushed after anyways. Bypassing the plastic bags she had carried in, she raced after Rocket who had vanished from sight. Best chances were she could catch her outside. With the thought, she quickened to the stairs and descended down at rapid pace. From top to bottom and bottom to top, it took six minutes to climb the staircase. This time; Octavia did it in one.

The stripped bare lobby, save for a devilish ladder off along the side, blurred over her vision as she came upon the front doors. Bright late morning sun blinded her for only a second before her vision cleared and the street shined around her. Rocket had emerged at full speed around the corner of the building, her little arms chopping at the wind as her feet pressed hard and fast against the ground. Octavia accelerated herself with the wind to catch up with her. They barely passed the next building before she grabbed Rocket's arm and pulled her to a stop.

"What's your problem?!" She snapped furiously with each word digging into her arm by her fingertips.

"Let go of me!" Rocket screamed as she tried to pull her arm from the tight grip.

"Listen, you little roadrunner!" Octavia hissed as she jerked her back. "You bailed out last time I saw you and you're not going to bail out now! Why do you keep running?!"

"Why do you care?!" She spat out at her. "You're just going to leave again!"

Octavia blinked at the accusation of her words. "You were the one that told me to do go find my family…" she breathed out.

Rocket's face winced as her watery eyes tightened their gaze. "I didn't think that was  _really_  your brother." She admitted heatedly.

Fingertips released their hold with a jolt and the little girl ripped her arm back. "People always leave." She whispered heart-brokenly before stumbling back and sprinting away.

She couldn't catch the gasp that echoed out from her lungs as she watched her run away. Wasn't it her that finally convinced her to find her rightful place? What possible reason could have upset this girl so much?

"O?" Tony's voice carried behind her and she spun around to face him. He was carrying the bags Rocket had brought in with her. At closer look, Octavia could see that she hadn't bought anything new in the plastic holders. It held clothes that were rolled together tightly underneath a toothbrush, a hair comb ridden with dark locks, a few pairs of shoes and a little white painted music box.

Her face broke as she realized what Rocket had been planning. She had wanted more than a new home but perhaps a sister of her own to share it with. Seeing Tony must have made the little girl realize that would never happen. A dark guilt shrouded her vision and her cheeks suddenly felt wet.

"Who is she?" He asked as she took the bags from his hands.

"Just someone I know." She deflated as she gripped the bags. "Let's put this back and get going, okay?" Her head hung low as she lead Tony back into the building to replace her things with Rocket's.

* * *

**BROOKLYN**

**1944**

**.**

Abraham Erskine was dead. They removed his body shortly after the test subject, Steve Rogers, and Agent Peggy Carter pursued the shooter. Whispers hushed over who could have done such a thing as the room grew little in numbers. The popular consensus seemed to be Nazis spies but Howard knew of one other enemy that truly sought after Abraham's work. However, the real question on his mind seemed to be going unanswered.  _How could they have known about today?_ The thought carried all throughout everyone leaving and stayed with him until he realized he now stood alone.

Howard had not seen Octavia after the blast and for a while he had forgotten about her entirely. It wasn't until after the room was cleared of his Vita-Ray chamber and all of the occupants dispersed that he realized the young woman was no where to be found. The once lively filled room echoed in chilling silence that lead him towards the exit. Before the doors closed behind him, he realized that he had not come alone and - with a low groan - he walked back into the hollowed tomb.

She could have easily slipped out with the crowd, he realized, as he searched the empty space but a soft humming among the powered down machines told him otherwise. It surprised him how badly he wanted to see Octavia and to know she was alright before they left that now grim place. Each step over Abraham's last ones clinked heavy beneath him. Today was suppose to have been Howard's great mark on history. Instead; he doubted he'll ever look back on this day without grief for what could have been.

A beckoning blue light irradiating underneath him almost went by unnoticed as he stepped over the platform. When he reached the ground level, it was spotted after a double take made him realize it wasn't a normal power source emulating in such a way. He had to crawl on his hands and knees to follow it until he came upon Octavia curled into a ball. Seeing her whole body covered in the bright blue flame sent a panic to freeze his body as it had the first time he saw only her hands that same way. A quick thumping against his chest shook his arms and he knew there was nothing - living, dead, or yet to be - that would ever be like this woman. The only thing that kept him from running for the hills was knowing this was a part of his legacy burning away beneath where they had just moved his friend.

Howard found no words good enough nor the bravery to touch her flame ridden shoulder to alert her of his presence. Being close to the fire was not at all as scorching as he'd thought it'd be but there was a warmth to it he had not expected. It was as comforting as it was terrifying. With a gulp against his dry throat, he realized that's how it must have felt to be around her all the time.

A stifling from her shoulders called the flames to diminish into her like a dying ember. The light around them faded but the blazing he felt from it did not. At his intake of breath, Octavia lifted her sunken head to catch his eye in the newly darken undertow. Howard could only see her tear stained cheeks through the small dashes of light from over his shoulder. An unknown pang of stricken guilt punctured his lungs at the sight and suddenly he felt sorry for someone else's grief.

"Is everyone gone?" She whispered softly. Howard nodded in response but a long silence made him think she didn't see it. "It's just us." He informed her as his knees buckled and relaxed back involuntarily. The sudden rush to leave no longer seemed prevalent.

"Are you okay?" Howard asked sincerely.

She shrugged lightly as her head shook from side to side. "No, I feel pretty far from okay." Her admission unsettled him with regret.

"I shouldn't have brought you here. I deserve a right good kick in the ass, if you ask me." He said with a small smile in an attempt to comfort her. No light casted over the lower half of her face as Howard's head hung a shadow over it so he could not see if she returned the gesture or not. Her head only dropped lower into the knees that pressed into her chest.

The tiny grin strained his cheeks and it fell into a deep frown that felt more appropriate. His mind kept racing through question after question - each one more prudent than the last - but there was one he needed to hear her answer. "Did you know he would die?" He had to command himself to be calm as he spoke but his tone demanded a response.

"Yes." She whispered low. "I could have saved him but if I did-"

"Worst things could have happened." Howard finished for her. "I can't imagine anything worse right now."

"I can." She said indignantly. The grief in her stance had turned stagnant as her shoulders straightened back and her head lifted high. "I can imagine a great deal of things prevented by letting Abraham die. You may hate me or think I'm evil for letting this happen, but I know I did the right thing." Through dark shadows, Howard saw the outline of her expression tighten into a sick grimace. "At least I think that I do…" Her voice was defeated and no longer as biting.

Howard was angry that his friend was taken from him. Angry that the person responsible had gotten away with all of Abraham's hard work. He was devastated over how the day had turned out but none of it was directed at her. A part of him really wanted it to be- the part of his mind that didn't want to accept her for what she was. Then there was another part of him - a greater and growing one - that knew none of this was her fault.

His knees dragged against the floor as he pulled himself closer to her. As he leaned forward, he brought his hand to grip her tense shoulder comfortingly. Massaging small circles into her muscle, he gratifyingly inclined his chin towards her. "I don't think you're evil. And I definitely don't hate you. You're my family. My family. A Stark is never sorry when it comes to doing the right thing. Especially when others don't agree. If you say it had to happen then...maybe it had to." He said quietly.

Howard knew it was his responsibility to do his best in consoling her. Yes, this woman was from the future, he had finally accepted it. She was his descendant - how far he wouldn't think of - but he knew for certain from the moment they met there was something unmistakable about her and he doubted she would ever stop surprising him. As her head hung low with a small nod at his words, he caught himself wanting to get a better look at her in the light. "Let's get out from under here, huh? Everyone's gone but they could come back if they catch the shooter. I don't think we want them catching us down here."

Before they could get out of the tight space, Howard had to back up and turn around before leading them back out. He helped Octavia to her feet after he had planted both of his firmly on the ground again. Against his palm rubbed a diamond cut and his fingers tightened over her soft hand. A reminder went off but he put it to rest for another time. It was the trembling in her fingers he worried about. The glassy aimless stare she held with sunken dark eyes only brought to life a ghost almost forgotten.

Dark waves made from her shorter hairs framed her fair skinned face. Her jaw was long and strong like his but her chin had a softer point, like his brother's. She had the Stark brow with the high cheeks and almond eyes of his mother. It was her small rounded nose and thin lips he could not recognize but each different piece came together in an classically beautiful way. Howard wondered who her own mother was to be and he forced the thought from his mind quickly before his head started to spin. Looking at her was different now and he couldn't shake what thoughts entered his mind.

"I'm sorry, Howard." She spoke first and pulled him from his pensive state. "I wish I could have done more."

His grip tightened around her hand as he shook his head. "Enough of that." He commanded. "Let's get out of here, huh?"

* * *

**.**

Most of the officials and their corporals had gathered in the main space of the antique shop that hid away the entrance of the lab. A lot of the other scientists and nurses had fled before the smoke had cleared. Octavia did not blame them. Sometimes it was hard not to run away herself but that was a habit she had kicked a long time ago. Now that the initial shock had sweltered down - it seemed to be a waiting game.

According to the bits of conversation she had heard in passing, Steve had pursued the shooter on foot while Agent Carter and another operative followed shortly after in a car. They were waiting for their return to receive the answers they were searching for. From what she remembered Steve telling her, the man had cracked and swallowed a cyanide capsule the second he had gotten his hands on him. At any moment, they would return with another body and a high-tech submarine that Howard would eventually dissect and use its parts to propel his own designs. A thought bloomed to life inside her mind and she finally realized how she was going to get home.

Once they returned, Steve was rushed from the streets and brought back into the laboratory with Peggy hurrying behind. Octavia did not need to be told where they were going nor was anyone there going to tell her. Not for a while anyways. Eleven vials of blood were taken and given to the government in hopes of recreating the Super Soldier Serum. Howard would be one of the few to receive a vial to test, eventually being the only one who would even come close to an exact replica. Even his assassination would mirror Abraham's, though not as shortly after.

Faces of everyone she had seen die were persistent in her memory and each one brought her back to that day in Ms. Kapplebaum's apartment. Her first concept of death came when the serum had worked on her but she hadn't experience true grief until the day she learned of her father's funeral. Only when all hope felt lost did she become that scared lonely little girl again. But now, years after his death, she looked onto Howard tinkering away just as she remembered and no longer felt that little girl miss her father anymore.

His occasional glance over his shoulder at her finally had that soften look he used to hold. It was not quite the same but definitely newer than before. At first she would return his melancholic smile but when lifting up the corners of her mouth started to become painful, he set his focus on the enemy's submarine. There seemed to have been a never-ending amount of thoughts forcing themselves forward that she could not concentrate on just one. Octavia had to stop herself from walking over to stand beside her father and hover over his shoulder as she used to. The gesture would often bring an annoyance he had kept tamed as he spoke to her. Whenever Tony talked about how irritate their father would get when would try to watch him work, she had a hard time imaging it. Perhaps her father had always been afraid of her. Maybe that was her own fault now.

A sweltering notion of doom swept over her and her back pressed against the wall to brace herself. Her own arms crossed over her chest tightly as she resisted the sensation. Fingers gripped into her skin while she told herself she would get home - no matter what. She saw nothing but the bright lights blaring against the open panel of the slender one-man dive ship - her way home. The overwhelming endless thoughts finally quietened and she thought of only one thing.

Out of the corner of her eye, just above her head, Steve stepped stilly in front of the overview window. Her head picked up instantly as the familiar figure cleared her vision. Haunted shadows casted over most of his face and sent a pang from her heart to the nerves along her bones. She tried to inspect every bit of him she could see but the upward angle made it difficult. The blinds were halfway drawn and slim black panes cut through most of him but he was still there. Knowing that he was, even though he was not yet the man she knew, somehow made the overwhelming sensation feel manageable.

As soon as she caught an intake of easement, her heart rate quickened as Steve turned his head and met her eyes. Darkness clouded his light blue eyes but they pierced through her anyways. Despite the softened expression on his face, there was no love for her in the look they shared. It only bothered her a little because she knew that one day his gaze would hold up the world for her. What she wouldn't give to see it now.

"Colonel Phillips, my committee is demanding answers." The voice pulled the attention of the room as the medal cladded military man from earlier lead the two suited men around Howard.

"Great!" Colonel Phillips retorted sarcastically. "Why don't we start with how a German spy got a ride to my secret installation in your car?" They stopped walking in front of Octavia, turning their backs on her as if she were the brick wall. "What do we got here?" He asked Howard sharply.

The ship was hanging from the ceiling with blinding lights shining onto it from over Howard's shoulders. He worked on it in a four foot hollowed out level which allowed for more space to move around. When the Colonel had spoken down at him, Howard lifted his attention up to respond.

"Modestly speaking," her father said from lowered platform below them. "I'm the best mechanical engineer in the country. But I don't know what's inside this thing or how it works. We're not even close to this technology."

_Yet._

"Then who is?" The well-dressed suited senator asked.

"H.Y.D.R.A." Colonel Phillips disclosed with another sharp tone. Octavia figured it must have been his natural voice. "I'm sure you've been reading our briefings."

"I'm on a number of committees, Colonel." The man threw back defensively.

Octavia heard her heels clicking across the floor before she heard Peggy speak. "H.Y.D.R.A. is the Nazi deep-science division." She informed as she lead Steve out towards the men. "It's led by Johann Schmidt. But he has much bigger ambitions."

"H.Y.D.R.A. is practically a cult." Colonel Phillips carried on. "They worship Schmidt. They think he's invincible."

"So what are you gonna do about it?" The senator asked pointedly at the colonel.

Colonel Phillips just stared at him before turning away from the man and walking over to meet Peggy halfway. "Spoke to the president this morning. As of today, the SSR is being retasked."

"Colonel?" Peggy asked softly.

"We are taking the fight to H.Y.D.R.A.. Pack your bags, Agent Carter. You too, Stark." Phillips called out to Howard and for the briefest of moments, she saw her father tense. "We're flying to London tonight."

At those words, Octavia practically leapt off the wall and turned a sharp look at the colonel then back to Howard. She opened her mouth to protest but the pointed hush gesture he made silenced her. Instead, Steve's voice carried its own objection as Phillips made his way to the exit. "Sir, if you're going after Schmidt, I want in."

"You're an experiment." Phillips threw back dismissively. "You're going to Alamogordo."

"The serum worked." Steve said defensively.

"I asked for an army and all I got was you." Phillips spat cruelly. "You are not enough."

_Who the hell is this guy?_  Octavia had taken a big step forward, with every intention on giving Colonel Phillips a piece of her mind but a sharp pull back from her arm impeded her attempt. Howard had made his way out of the sunken level while she listened in on the colonel's harsh orders and kept her from chasing after him. When she looked back - the colonel had already left and the grey suited senator had stepped Steve away to talk to him. Clenching her jaw as she grounded her teeth in, she ripped her arm from Howard's grip.

"Be calm." Howard commanded solemnly.

"I am calm." She hissed back harshly. That man had no right to talk to Steve that way. He had no idea what Steve was capable of. None of them did. Steve didn't even know yet. Octavia took in a ragged breath as she brought her hand up to rub her chin.  _Be calm._  A scoff escaped from her throat. This was calm.

"If you expose yourself-"

"Are we really going to London?" She interjected quickly and quietly. If they kept having conversations like that it would expose her.

Howard blinked at the sudden change in conversation while tightening his lips together. "No, we aren't," he simplified. "I am."

"What the hell do you mean?" Her shoulders hardened at his nonchalant statement.

"I mean I can't take you to London." He sputtered under his breath. "You don't exist which will make it hard to take you on a government mission."

"Then fake up some documents and get me out of here, Howard. You're not just going to leave me behind." Octavia hounded strongly.

He rolled his eyes at her and shook his head dismissively. "Just wait a couple weeks and I'll be back. You can stay at the house and Jarvis will take care of you. There's no need to get upset, right? We both know I'll return."

Octavia bit down on her lower lip. "What about the machine? We need to start building it now." The words slipped out grimly through her teeth.

"I can't stop the world, Octavia. There are things I have to do," he whispered as he reached out and took her hand in his. "We still need parts to build with, right? Why don't you collect all that you think we'll need and we'll start on it when I get back. Then I'll get you home." Howard's fingers found and twisted her ring around her finger.

She pulled her hand back instinctively and her own fingers twisted it back in place. He hadn't mentioned her ring before and he didn't seem like he was going to mention it now. Her eyes shifted behind him to the H.Y.D.R.A.'s submarine and then back to Howard determinedly. "I'll need the ship. And access to your lab."

"Fine," Howard conceded firmly. It made her eyebrow twitch at his lack of fight over the matter. "Strip it and save everything. I'll send whatever parts I find to you. We'll figure out how to make it work. When I return."

"Fine." She agreed but furrowed her brow as Howard raised his hand at her.

"On one condition," he soothed carefully.

"What?"

"Tell me what you said to him." Howard prompted.

"What?" She repeated, more confused than before.

"To Abraham. Before he died. I saw you say something to him. What was it?"

"Can we talk about this later?"

"No. Tell me what you said, Octavia. I need to know."

Octavia chewed on the edge of her tongue as she contemplated what she should say. A glance over her shoulder confirmed Steve was still there with her - even across the room. She meant every word she said to Erskine, and she wanted him to have a chance to know the truth before he died. Perhaps it brought him a sense of peace in his last moments. It brought her peace just to know it. A few seconds barely passed as she turned back to Howard and gave him half a smile. "I told him that he would be everything Abraham expected him to be."

**Author's Note:**

> [this takes place years after the events of civil war and even after infinity wars. it will follow octavia through the past as she tries to find her way home]


End file.
